You know you’re infertile when…

1. Everyone at the fertility clinic knows your name including the nurses and secretary. It’s like an episode of Cheers, just without the bar and unlimited alcohol.
2. You accidentally said the word “ovulate” during a work board meeting.
3. You’ve taken a pregnancy test after your trigger shot so you could actually see two lines.
4. You’ve rubbed your baby nephew or niece’s head for good luck and whispered in their ear “I want a baby too.”
5. You look at the toilet paper at least 10 times per day and you’re not always sure what you’re looking for.
6. You’ve had an emotional breakdown at least 4 times this week.
7. You’ve said positive affirmations to your uterus before going to bed… “I will get pregnant.” “My body is ready for pregnancy.”
8. You know your husband’s exact sperm count and the measurement of your uterine lining.
9. You’ve asked Doctor Google “Is having a cold and cough a pregnancy symptom?”
10. You’ve held a pregnancy test up to a bathroom light to try to see a second line.

Just remember, we are only temporarily experiencing infertility. We learn from it and then find strength to move forward.

No! Not the back-to-school photos! You are dreading this moment. It’s back-to-school time and there are going to be Facebook photos. Your friends have already updated their status’ with: “Little Marta is going to school for the first time!” and “Tiny Timmy wants to wear his Elvis outfit for his first day of school!”  Continue reading »

Possibly the worst advice you can ever give an infertile – Just relax and it will happen. Are you KIDDING us? The only thing that’s relaxed right now is our sperms because they don’t seem to be swimming. Continue reading »

Congratulations to Suzie, the 56 year old chimpanzee for getting pregnant so quickly. “The zoo director said Suzie was taken off birth control because of medical concerns – and because zoo officials didn’t think she would get pregnant at her age.”

Wait. A 56 year old chimp goes off birth control and gets pregnant right away? She’s a little hairy. Shouldn’t she have PCOS or something? Yup. Still  jealous of a pregnant chimp.