When you find out someone is pregnant, a normal first reaction is “Wow. Congratulations! That is great news. I’m so happy for you!” But you’re an infertile and that’s typically not your first thought even if you don’t want to admit it.
YOUR DAD: “Cousin Martha just called. She is pregnant! Isn’t that great news!”
YOU: (Right or wrong, your first inner thought will probably include one or more of the following thoughts)…
- Are you kidding me? She just got married.
- How many people are going to get pregnant before it’s our turn already!
- Great. Now everyone is pregnant but me.
- But she already has a two year old!
- But we started trying long before she did.
- What the fertile! She’s still so bloody young.
- What the fertile! She’s still in school and he has no money.
- Wow. He really must have super sperm to get her pregnant so quickly.
- Good for her.***
- So, who cares? Why are you telling me this?***
***Note: You will tend to have a more bitter and envious thought should a pregnancy announcement occur during your period or following a failed cycle and negative pregnancy test.
YOUR REAL RESPONSE: “That’s great news, dad. Pass along my congratulations. I’m so happy for them.”
You respond this way because it’s not socially acceptable to become a raging infertile lunatic in public, because you are strong and you refuse to show anyone your jealous and bitter side, because you know it’s actually good news even if it doesn’t feel that way, because one day it will be your turn too. You respond this way simply because you are awesome, even if you don’t always remember that.
(While you’re here….don’t forget to check out my NEW post at -- IVF might not work on the first try and that’s okay).