You have a theory. When you’re obsessively waiting by the phone for your beta blood test results, you believe that if your clinic calls back before noon, it’s good news. After 12pm, the results must be negative.
You’re sure that somewhere in small print, your clinic has a rule. Good news before noon and bad news afterwards. This can be found in the ‘How to Torture an Infertile’ consent form.
You have little basis for your theory since the nurse has only ever called you with bad news and it happened to be at the end of the day. You arrived at the blood lab early in the morning, saying a special internal prayer as your blood was taken. “Hey blood in the test tube, please be positive.” You even try to look at the blood coloring to see if you can tell if it’s positive or not. My blood looks really red, maybe that’s a good thing? You leave the lab and now it’s time to wait the agonizing few hours for the results. If no one calls you by 12 noon, you think it’s all over. And it’s always grumpy nurse Bonnie who finally calls you at 4:59pm with the bad news. It seems that Bonnie spent the whole day chatting with her co-workers, having a leisurely lunch, watches a full episode of Oprah and then remembers, Might as well call the infertiles before I go home. And she always makes a long unnecessary introduction “Hi, it’s Bonnie, the BFN Bitchinator from the WeCan’tGetYouPregnant Fertility Clinic…” Yes, I know who it is lady. I have been sitting by the phone for last 8 hours waiting for your call.
The good part of getting bad news at the end of the day is that you had an extra few hours of hope. The bad part is that you might not have time to have your emotional breakdown in front of your co-workers….at least until tomorrow.
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