Apr 06

Who doesn’t just love social media sites like Facebook and MySpace! An infertile doesn’t, that’s who!

Sure social media sites are great for re-connecting with old friends but they also can drive an infertile to complete insanity. Maybe you’ve decided to take a little Facebook vacation because you can’t stand hearing about former colleagues, high school classmates all SCREAM about their pregnancies on Facebook. Do you really need to see another photo of your friend’s nipples, especially when it’s attached to a baby’s mouth!

Fortunately, you can refer to ‘The Infertile’s Guide to Social Media” for appropriate online behavior, infertile style.

LinkedIn (a professional networking and career site)

Your Profile: Jane U. Terus is a seasoned marketing professional, with 10+ years in the industry.
As you will see she is no longer employed b/c she got fired for missing too many hours of work due to endless fertility treatments and appointments. She’d like to be employed, but is really looking for a job that let’s her work part time, allowing ample time for surfing the internet, especially during the 2ww. Oh, and if you have health insurance fertility coverage – sign me up, she’ll work for free.


Update your status, infertile style.
“Just inserting my finger into my cervix trying to determine if it’s period blood or implantation.”
“Looking at the toilet paper for the 40th time today!”
“Brainstorming about excuses not to attend your daughter’s first birthday party.”
“Re-ordering my husbands fertility vitamins, again. I refuse to buy the 6 month supply because we just won’t need them for that long! (it’s been 14 months).”

Four Square (social/stalker like networking site that lets your followers know your exact location)

“I just arrived at morning monitoring of my lady parts, 666 Ovary Drive.”
“I’m headed to my third pharmacy to source my fertility meds, Knock Me Up Pharmacy, 81 TTC Lane.”
“I’m in the stirrups, being inseminated, hopefully making a baby, 92 IVF Road.”
“I’m in the bathroom having a meltdown, based on what i just saw in my underwear, Your work bathroom 87 Icanconceive Lane.”
“I’m at the drugstore buying tampons and ovulation predictor kits, 54 Lowspermcount Crescent.”

Reason suggested by JaneLee at Suggest a Reason. JaneLee can be found crying on the toilet at 87 Infertilitysucks Road.

16 Responses to “#779 The Infertile’s guide to social media”

  1. Reena says:

    Literally laughing out loud at those facebook updates…totally made my day – thanks!

  2. Hahahahaha…Oh my god…too funny…the saddest part is there is just too much truth in those facebook status updates and I don’t even know what four square is but I sure know I could’ve written all those updates…

  3. says:

    OMG!!! Those facebook updates crack me up!!! How uncomfortable would those make “fertile” people! Pregnant women have no problem posting about their mucus plugs, cervix measurements and effacing progression…why can’t we update on our cervical mucus and possible ovulation? LMAO!

  4. Leslie says:

    I am just at the beginning of my journey of infertility, so I am glad this site is here! I am laughing so hard at the Facebook updates because it is sooooooo true! Thanks.

  5. InfertileNaomi says:

    Leslie, welcome to the club! It’s a rockin’ journey! Keep smiling ladies.

  6. says:

    I came across this blog today and I have been in stitches all day! I have been pregnant before in 2002 but had an early miscarriage, then in 2008 a true miracle happened again and I fell pregnant with twins.. Unfortunately, the miracle didn’t extend to staying pregnant and I had my boys at 24wks. They only survived 12 days.. Anyway, we are on the TTC path yet again and although I haven’t had to go down the IVF path YET I can relate to so many things. Especially the temping and cervical mucous analysing! And at the moment our money is going to a natropath, so here’s hoping! I couldn’t not leave some sort of comment saying how much I enjoyed reading your blog!

  7. Candidly_Andrea says:

    I could totally use the “Looking at the toilet paper for the 40th time today!” as my facebook status today (and yesterday).

  8. Gail K. says:

    I would have loved to post that I had my first Transvaginal Wand encounter today on Facebook, but I figured that would be a little too much information. :)However, it would serve all the fertiles right for all the times I’ve had to listen to their pregnancy woes.

    Anyway, my doctor said everything looked good inside and sent DH for his own tests. I took my charts with me and she swore that charting my daily temperature was not useful and didn’t believe that I ovulate on day 20 like my temperatures and CM show. She seems to think that I ovulate on day 14 despite no temperature spikes or CM during that time ever. She basically said that the reason why DH and I have not had success is because we have been timing our baby-making at the wrong time (Day 20 instead of 14). Has anyone else run into this problem with doctors not believing in charting temps and CM?

  9. says:

    LOL!!! It would be so funny to really post some of this stuff.

  10. says:

    Oh, I totally post IF stuff on FB and they can all suck it up for all I care. LOL. Thanks for yet another laugh.

  11. GatorGirl says:

    This was awesome, and very timely! Just found out a family’s member pregnancy today via FB, and I literally starting crying at work. It just hit me. Thank you! I needed this laugh! :)

  12. Karien says:

    I have the utmost admiration for what you’re all trying to do here. I have been on the roundabout myself for well over a decade and there were many times I could have used a site like this one…

    However, I find myself dissapointed in the extreme at comments about serving the “fertiles” right etc. it’s bad enough that you guys are suffering this terrible journey but why would you want to wish ill toward someone with better luck? I would not wish infertility and the crap that goes along with it on my worst enemy. When your friends/family are expecting a baby, while what you are going through is terrible, they haven’t taken anything away from you? However, by being jealous of them, making comments like that, you’re taking something from them and from yourself. Isn’t it bad enough that you don’t have your own bundle to hold? imagine you were pregnant and over the moon… then imagine your friend being jealous and angry about your miracle. Wouldn’t that make you just livid!!! Why is it that only the infertile people have the rights to good news?

    On that note, I’m going to go cuddle the precious daughter I struggled for 5 years to concieve.

  13. Jess says:

    Hi Karien- I get what you’re saying but this is exactly how we feel. We absolutely do not want to feel this way or jealous, and most of us would never say it aloud but this website says how we’re honestly feeling without actually hurting a friend’s feelings. It’s not an ‘us’ vrs ‘them’ thing because we pray to be a fertile too one day- it’s just how we feel, right or wrong. It might be wrong to say it out loud but since most of us don’t and just have our inner pain, this website let’s us feel less alone in our thoughts and jealousy, saying that it’s ok to feel how we feel and that someday we won’t.

  14. Kate says:

    FB Status Update today from one of my friends – “just can’t believe how many people are pregnant ……. must be the fact we’re all getting a little older and settling down ……. roll on the next chapter in our amazing lives – little people are awesome!!!”

    I commented, “yeah great, everyone except me!”

  15. Alan says:

    LOL!!! It would be so funny to really post some of this stuff.

  16. Narnia says:

    “Just inserting my finger into my cervix trying to determine if it’s period blood or implantation.” This is sooooo funny coz I have done it so often and I never learn!!!! I wish I could update my status with this kind of statement, ooooh Would just love to see the backlash from ‘friends’!!!!