Jan 13

The “You Know You’re Infertile When” series continues….

  1. You find out your mother’s friend’s dry cleaner’s daughter’s Facebook friend’s second cousin’s once removed is pregnant through IVF, and you are still jealous.
  2. You wear loose fitting shirts and pretend to waddle so people think that you’re pregnant.
  3. You inspect the toilet paper and your vaginal discharge at least 10 times a day.
  4. You anticipate hearing pregnancy announcements every time you see your friends.
  5. You’ve tried to increase your basal temperature by urinating while you take your temp.
  6. You feel your breasts, subtly, in public for signs of tenderness.
  7. You stop drinking coffee but then you cheat often.
  8. Excessive burping and farting during the two week wait excites you.
  9. You won’t use the telephone for the entire day knowing the fertility clinic will be calling.
  10. You always look at a stranger’s belly to see if she’s pregnant, and if she is, you glare at her.

19 Responses to “#820 You know you’re infertile when…”

  1. Rach says:

    LOL! Yep, I admit to several of those.

  2. ttcwithpcos says:

    Love it!

  3. Busted Kate says:

    If I may humbly add to the mix…. You don't count dollar store pregnancy tests in your total POAS count for the month, lest the spouse freak out when you say you've taken 10 pregnancy tests (1 sounds better).

    And how about you have a special science station in your bathroom, with tests and instructions that would rival the space station?

  4. Minta says:

    11. You wear loose fitting clothing and actually waddle from being so bloated from all the fricking shots to the belly!

  5. bundle#1 says:

    I am guilty of the last one…I try not to glare though…LOL.

  6. Jacqueline says:

    This blog saves my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Jendometriosis says:

    omg either you read my mind or I'm psychic because I totally was thinking you should do this post the other day.

    I would add that if you happen to have a pen (or anything else) in your hand while sitting on the toilet, you accidently almost pee on it due to "POAS-itis"

  8. the misfit says:

    I have to admit to several of those but I refuse to specify :).

  9. The Quest For Baby Hang says:


  10. cheryl says:

    I do 1, 3, 4, 6, & 9
    Also to add to the comment Minta posted I have worn maternity clothes to bloodwork & u/s monitoring appointments.

  11. hsfisher95 says:

    Here's one you might have covered somewhere along the line.

    You think you've broken your wrist (insert bone of choice here) and prior to your x-ray the tech asks you if your pregnant and you laugh and cry at the same time.

    Just found your blog and love it!

  12. Misty Dawn says:

    These are so funny b/c they are true!

  13. Elissa says:

    ha ha! 5,6 and 10 absolutely true!

  14. Where's My Stork? says:

    I think you need one on prenatal vitamins….
    your pee is bright yellow/green,
    about how the checker at walmart must think you have 10 kids because for the past 5 years you have been buying prenatal vitamins..and she always asks if you are pregnant.

  15. Emily says:

    Stomach hurts before social events in anticipation of 1) new pregnancy announcements 2) belly bumps 3) being asked when you'll start having a family

  16. liberalgranolagirl says:

    Hilarious! I am guilty of most of those!

  17. ^J^ says:

    SO TRUE!!

  18. Marieke says:

    how about – you specifically buy loose fitting tops and pants a size too big because you think they'll transition well to maternity wear. You know, when IT finally happens.

  19. scandinavian endo girl, only-aunti? says:

    I´ve got four anouncments in 6 days, three of my friends have due day 15 days from first to last. Now I live by the philosophy “everyone is pregnant until proven othervise”, and I secretly celebrate when one of my friends drinks a glas of wine or beer.