‘Tis the season for those, are you pregnant yet? holiday questions. Here are some helpful tips on how to answer those annoying fertility questions during the holiday season.

Are you pregnant yet? -your Cousin Sally at the family Christmas dinner table
- No, we’re not pregnant yet. We heard the apocalypse is coming and thought it wasn’t the best time to conceive.
- No we’re not pregnant yet. We’ve decided to wait until our late forties when we are at our most fertile.
- No we’re not pregnant yet. We’ve decided to take a political stance. We are not having children until Jennifer Aniston gets pregnant. Continue reading »

Dear Santa,

Me again! How’s it going? Mrs. Clause treating you well? Santa, I have been a very good girl this year. I have taken my folic acid on a daily basis (minus last month when I said “screw you, folic acid” during a very crampy menstrual period). I have stuck a thermometer in my mouth every single morning to chart my temperature (and have only cheated twice by taking my temperature after my shower). Even last week when we went out for dinner, I didn’t look at the toilet paper once when I went to the bathroom at Mork’s Fine Steakhouse. Continue reading »