Mar 03

Hey baby sister, I’m so glad you’re uterus is working properly but can you hold off getting pregnant with baby #2 until I get knocked up? 

You love your younger or older sibling, and you are truly happy that she didn’t have fertility problems….. but seriously bratty sister, you kind of wanted to provide the first grandchild. All those childhood years of fighting and what does she do? She gets pregnant before you can even say transvaginal wand. Maybe she even had one of those so-called accidental pregnancies or just tried one time and bing, bang, boom, it happened. There you are trying for months and months and she sweeps in, glowing with a fertility aura, announcing her pregnancy news. You are so happy for her (and only 30-80 percent jealous) but now she is talking about having baby number 2. ARE YOU KIDDING? Two babies in 2 years? Is your husband’s sperm made of magic? Do you lay the perfect grade A eggs? Are you a rare couple that doesn’t even require ovulation to reproduce? Your own uterus doesn’t understand that concept of getting pregnant. And you have no idea how anyone can get pregnant without an RE, fertility drugs and Progesterone.

Hey, here’s a funny idea, sweet sister. How about you wait until we get pregnant, and then maybe give it a good old fashion heave ho. Feel free to have baby-making intercourse with my brother-in-law then. But maybe you just know that she is about to make her pregnancy announcement. Perhaps you’re sitting at the family dinner table and see your sister or brother open their mouth slowly and you see them mouth the words “We haveeee something to tellllll you..” In slow motion, you feel your chest start to cave in, your eyes start to tear and then you jump head first across the dining room table landing in the your mother’s homemade biscuits shouting “Nooooooooo. Don’t sayyyyyyy it.”

But she does and everyone gets up to hug and celebrate. Because it is a wonderful celebration and infertility makes you forget that along the way. And you tear up a bit, take a deep breath to blow out the negative energy, and look at your husband with a small but strong smile, knowing that one day it will be your turn too. Until then, you hold onto hope and just keep believing.

43 Responses to “#797 Your younger sibling is pregnant before you”

  1. Cathy says:

    My sister is older, but got pregnant with her 2nd (both pregnancies it took ONE cycle to do the job, darn fertiles) while we were trying for our 1st…and we’re STILL trying. There were lots of “oh, I thought Cathy would be next” or “hey Cathy, you better hurry up and catch up” and one sweet old lady from Church actually had the nerve to say “my daughter waited too long and her eggs dried up so don’t dilly dally” (true story…I know it sounds made up, but I promise, it’s true)…um, thanks for that info JERK! My sister is about to finish graduate school, so I’m sure we’ll be getting another announcement here soon, since I know they want another and their sperm and uterus apparently know how to get the job done, no intervention needed! Sister = 2 tries…2 pregnancies…2 babies. Cathy = 2 years of trying…2 years of no pregnancies…2 years of no babies. Can’t wait for all the comments then…thank goodness she lives out of state! Tear.

  2. Natalie says:

    Yup, both of my younger sisters have had two kids each. The first one tried once each time, and the other one was trying not to get pregnant each time. Hey my mom had six (!) with out too much work. (even tied her tubes in the late 70’s, changed her mind, had them “untied” and then had two more babies). Not sure where my screwed up genes came from.

  3. Julie says:

    We’re on cycle #29 and my 19 year old sister who isn’t dating anyone announces she is 14 weeks preg and she said (insists) the closest thing to sex (during her fertile time) she did was be in a hot tub with a guy. Well please get me in a hot tub with that guy. Not really :(Talk about worst day of my life ever. I cried so hard I couldnt go to work the next day.

  4. Busted Kate says:

    Bitches, man. All of ‘em.

  5. Anonymous says:

    You are so funny, “Busty” Kate!

  6. Anonymous says:

    Yeah, I hear you…but try having three younger sisters and two older step sisters….ALL who are on their second child at least!!! Torture I tell you. Makes the holidays super fun. :)

  7. Cherbear says:

    oh man, Julie, that sucks!! I mean all of this just sucks. My sister is 6 years younger than me (only 21) so she BETTER not end up pregnant before I do!! I think she’s still a virgin so I have nothing to worry about…yet.

  8. says:

    This hits the nail on the head in so many ways. For me, it was my sister-in-law (hubby’s little sis). She and her husband got engaged, got married, got accidentally pregnant, and had a beautiful baby girl all within about 2 years. My husband and I have accomplished only the first half of that over the course of the past 5 years, and it could be another 5 before we get the latter half done. When we first heard the news that she was pregnant, my first evil, evil thought that came out of nowhere was “maybe she’ll miscarry.” I couldn’t even believe that thought crossed my mind! It’s so, so horrible. They were both still students and in no way could they afford a baby. And we weren’t even trying yet, but I always knew we would have problems once we started.

  9. Amanda says:

    *Julie – that really sucks! I can’t imagine your pain.
    *Cathy – you better not dilly dally ;)

    My sister is older than me – and has 2 children. I have no younger siblings. But my sister-in-law is 3 yrs younger then me and I feel guilty for practically praying that she doesn’t get pregnant before me. Whenever she asks to get together, I’m shakingly terrified she is going to make the “announcement”. And just by watching me she is terrified that when she does “try” she won’t be able to so she actually has already asked her doctor to check out her reproductive organs even though she plans to wait a few years to TTC.

  10. Mary says:

    My younger sister got pregnant without trying and announced the same month I realized I was having fertility issues (nice big Christmas announcement). While she was regularly updating everyone about her pregnancy, my husband and I were silently dealing with one test result after another letting us know that we are infertile and will have to use IVF if we want to conceive. Even that would have been manageable–until my sister told me, knowing that I was having these problems, that I was being selfish for bowing out of my sibling obligation to plan her baby shower (just too painful, so I asked our mom to plan it) and that I therefore was so emotionally unstable in how I was handling my infertility that she didn’t know if she would be able to trust me around her baby (btw, I’m a child psychologist–hardly a threat to children).

  11. Meredith says:

    My younger sister got pregnant without trying and announced the same month I realized I was having fertility issues (nice big Christmas announcement). While she was regularly updating everyone about her pregnancy, my husband and I were silently dealing with one test result after another letting us know that we are infertile and will have to use IVF if we want to conceive. Even that would have been manageable–until my sister told me, knowing that I was having these problems, that I was being selfish for bowing out of my sibling obligation to plan her baby shower (just too painful, so I asked our mom to plan it) and that I therefore was so emotionally unstable in how I was handling my infertility that she didn’t know if she would be able to trust me around her baby (btw, I’m a child psychologist–hardly a threat to children).

  12. Kay says:

    My husband’s younger brother’s girlfriend got pregnant “accidently” just a few months after I miscarried. They got married and a year later, she was “accidently” pregnant again. I am terrified that my now sister-in-law will announce that she’s pregnant, “accidently” again, of course, the next time we all get together. I actually had a nightmare about that one night and woke up crying and shaking. In the dream she kept going on and on about how “blessed” they were to be having a third baby, and how “God must love” them so much for all their little blessings, etc. etc. etc. The thing is, that is exactly something that she would do/say in real life. And in real life, she keeps telling me that she “understands” what I’m going through and how hard it must be, blah blah blah. oh yeah, RIGHT!!! Can I throw up now???

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  14. Becky says:

    I don’t have any younger siblings, but how about when kids you BABYSAT are pregnant???

  15. Laurie says:

    Yep, sis had two kids on accident. Thankfully none of my other siblings seem to be anywhere near the kid bandwagon so *fingers crossed* I’ll be the next one popping out a baby.

  16. Kitten says:

    Four out of my seven nieces and nephews were “oops” babies. Two were born out of wedlock, and two were conceived and born during the time hubby and I have been trying (2 years). Now my last childless SIL, who is a major bag-o-nuts, mind you, wants to start trying. GREAT. She has asked BIL for a divorce TWICE in the one whole year they’ve been married, and she’s convinced a baby is going to solve all her problems. –Slaps palm to forehead– And *I’M* the infertile one.

  17. says:

    Those fertiles make me sick. They just fly those babies out of their vaginas, one after another, while I am waiting for my mother-in-law and Aunt Flo to arrive this weekend. (thank god there is a pain medicine at least for one of them :)))
    Let’s just get wasted… and those preggo ones can just watch us and be jealous of our great time :)

  18. Elizabeth says:

    Yep, it’s even better when it’s your niece, who’s both younger than you AND seems to be able to pop them out whenever she wants. My SIL is pregnant, too. She has PCOS and was told she’d “never have kids.” Got pg without even trying and everyone’s telling me I should be happy for her. Darn it, I AM, but can’t I be sad for me, too?

  19. Benigna says:

    Oh my god, I don’t even want to think about THAT. My little sister is due next week with her accident- baby. That hurts bad enough. I never want to think about her having another one, before I get my first…

  20. Benigna says:

    Oh, and my sister called me one day before my birthday to tell me, that she’s pregnant. Isn’t that nice?

  21. says:

    My younger sister is 18 weeks pregnant and had the gall to complain to me a few weeks back (the day after my infertile Dx – DH already IF) about her prego symptoms. Good thing it was over IM or there would have been blood. She’s younger, owns a house, financially stable, and apparently as fertile as everyone else in the family seems to be. *sigh*

  22. Rebeccagrace says:

    My little sister got pregnant by accident when she was 18, after DH and I had been already trying for five years…I couldn’t believe it! Also because my brother is so much older than me he has four daughters who are almost my age, and two of them have kids now. This makes me a 29 year old great-aunt. How fun! Not!

  23. 5yearsplus says:

    Elizabeth – yup, I know what you mean about nieces!

    My niece (12 years younger than I am, unemployed, unmarried, serious mental health issues) got pg accidently at age 19. She announced it the same month DH and I decided to start IUI treatment after 4 years of TTC. Then I became pregnant on the second IUI and I had a miscarriage THE SAME DAY my niece gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Unbelieveable. A year later her baby is walking, but I have had 6 more IUI’s and am still not pg again.

  24. Chrissi says:

    OMG, I know what you’re talking about. In January last year I miscarried and I didn’t tell many people about it. I told my mum, but I didn’t tell my sister (3 years younger). She fell in love and moved in with her new boyfriend 3 months before. We hardly ever talked since then, because she was so occupied by her new wonderful life and it was hard to get into contact with her. During the third phonecall after my miscarriage she told me about her pregnancy (6 months after having me her boyfriend) in a 3-minute-conversation. I literally head a nervous breakdown on the phone! In two or three more conversations in the following months the only thing she managed were complaints about gaining weight, feeling sick in the morning etc. No questions whether I was alright or how I felt…
    I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive her! I know that it isn’t the baby’s fault, but I still think that she is a *************************.

  25. The baby is 6 weeks with a good heart rate of 115 bpm. It was so amazing to see it all. A true miracle. Now I am sweating bullets because I don’t want anything to happen.

  26. doubtful says:


    we been married 3.5 years now.. right after we got married we decided to wait because of school, job etc.. anyways, we finially decided to start trying and then we heard my brother was getting married in 3 months.. also, my husband’s sister around the same time.. so, we thought we will wait since we wanted to go and attend the funciton since both the weddings were in a different country.. so, we waited, attended both weddings.. came back happy, my husband lost his jobs, so waited again. he got another job, then we tried for 2 months.. then, i got a new job offer.. so, we decided to take it and wait for baby for 6 more months.. so, i took the job, then my brother annouced that they are going to have a baby.. i was really happy for them, but i don’t know why eyes teared up and i choked while they said the news to me.. anyways, couple of months later my brother’s sister announced about their baby news.. me sad again… then, finally we decided to start trying.. tried 3-4 months.. figured out i got pcos.. then, treatment etc.. in the mean time they both had their babies etc etc…

    then, my younger sister got married..4 months after their wedding, mom tells me “i asked them not to wait, incase if it happens the same way as yours”.. u know how i felt at that time.. thank god, i got pregnant in april.. just announced the news.. doctor says that there is chance for miscarriage since i have pcos.. just 6 weeks now, scared and happy..

    today my younger sister calls me and says she is pregnant too.. 4 weeks.. i can’t express my feelings now.. i feel like i hate her so much now.. this is supposed to be my special days.. she spoiled it.. but, i guess i should be thankful that God made me pregnant before me and she got preganant too. why i don’t feel the same way..

    Thank you Lord…

    by the way, if you got pcos, ovarian drilling is the only solution.. i did ovarian drilling and then took metformin for 2 months and got pregnant..

    if you doctor won’t do it for u just yet.. if you are willing to spend some money ticket + another $1500 or so, you can get that done in india and that is what i did..

    good luck..

    praying for my baby and my sisters..

  27. Bec says:

    My Husband and I first saw the FS in January 2001 (after trying naturally for 3 years) my sister (who is my best friend) fell pregnant in March 2002 – very very accidently. Anyway DH and I are still trying and my sisters fourth child just turned one. Sometimes I sit back and go “Really does she need 4 – just let me have one for ffs”. Anyway I absolutely adore my nieces and nephews and having them in my life gives me so much joy!!

  28. Mel says:

    Oh, my gosh yes…I got the announcement that my little brother and his 25 year old wife (yeah, I’m 32, btw) were pregnant right after Christmas. Oh, and did I mention he’s out of work and she’s making peanuts as a social worker and they have nowhere to live so my parents are fronting them money to build a house? This is right when we were in the midst of struggling through paperwork and interviews for our adoption home study, where I was having to prove over and over again that I can be a good parent. I cried for 4 hours. We’re at three years since we started trying now, and with the pace of adoptions lately, I wouldn’t be shocked if they do have two kids by the time we have one because she’s due in 3 weeks with the first one. Sigh.

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  30. nlmd12 says:

    My husband has two younger half-brothers that are ten and twelve years younger than him. They both got married the same year and yep, you guessed it, got pregnant at the same time! Before they got pregnant, the wives would barely speak to one another and now they are BFFs and act all smug around me. When the oldest announced his wife was pregnant, I burst into tears. When the second one found out his wife was pregnant, no one would tell me (even my own mother) and it took a while before I actually found out. I wasn’t invited to the baby showers. The crappy thing is that my husband and I are both successful and well educated (I’m a physician and he’s an engineer) and his brothers and their wives are all working at minimum wage jobs and renting their houses. My MIL gloats CONSTANTLY about her granddaughters and her mother comments constantly on how she always thought my husband would have had the first baby and isn’t it a shame that I’m infertile. I’M NOT INFERTILE!!! IT’S MY HUSBAND!!! But I can’t tell his family that! I can’t even bare to be around them anymore! The infertility and stress took its tole on our marriage and I left my husband and had a relationship with another man (was I subconsciously trying to get pregnant? Everyone assumes so). My husband and I reunited and are trying again, but soon after we got back together,my sister-in-law had the audacity to post on my Facebook wall that infertility was a punishment from God because I cheated and that I deserved what I got!!! Sorry, I’m just venting.

  31. Chrys says:

    My husband and i have been married for nearly three years now, but in total we have been together 10 years, we have not been trying, and my heart really goes out to all of you that have been…I wanted to leave my post and tell you about my younger brother, 23, who has been “dating” his girlfriend for about 4 months, nice girl..but needless to say, yesterday, Christmas day, they anounced their engagement, and then when my mother opened the last present she was presented a pictureframe and scan of her “future Grandchild” Well if it wasnt for the internal expolsion i had i might have hit the roof!!
    ..i honestly didnt see that coming, and the hurtful words that came out my mothers mouth, “Hey my little boy, having a baby before his big sister, The best Christmas ever” well i tend to disagree and am quite angry and saddend that my idiotic brother has got himself into a “shotgun wedding” and seemed to make Christmas all about himself as usual..needless to say that if my brother does ever utter those words…”So when you gonna have one?” A Massive smack through the face will be my reply.

  32. Anonymous says:

    My older sister just had number SIX. Granted, this is only number two since we’ve been trying, but SIX??? And my moron of a younger has had a baby, too. Looks like I’m the only one with busted reproductive organs. I told my sister the next one is mine, and yes, I’ve thought about walking out the door with my nephew…she wouldn’t notice, would she?? (not serious)

  33. 7 years and counting says:

    When we told my very fertile SIL that we were pregnant (miscarried at12weeks) after 3 IVF and using donor eggs you would have expected some kind of happy response but all she said was “I don’t want to hear it”. We were stunned and hurt. She has always been incredibly jealous of anything my husband has so it wasn’t a suprize that she ended up accidentally pregnant soon after. So we had to watch her go through her pregnancy and have a healthy baby while we were greiving for ours.

  34. Christina says:

    I know EXACTLY how this feels. My younger sis is expecting Baby #3. I never even get to see my niece and nephew because my sis lives far away and her hubby is an arrogant control freak who won’t even let me play with his kids or hold them! DH and I have been TTC for 3 years. Nothing. Not ONE BFP test!!!! And they get THREE babies!!! It’s just unfair! Totally unfair!!! :(

  35. Infertile Daughter says:

    Anyone have a MOM still having kids?!? After trying for a year… my mom called to tell me she was pregnant once again. I cried. I am now the oldest of SEVEN kids (4 little sisters and 2 little brothers). I grew up with a mom that believes one of the main reasons to get married is to start a family. She got pregnant with me right away. Had her next before I was two. And now… at the of 22 (I got married at 19 and started trying right away) I have a little brother that is less than a year old. When mom called to tell me she was pregnant she said she waited to tell everyone until after the holidays in case I had an announcement to make. *sigh* If only….

    Thankfully… all of my sisters still live at home and don’t even have boyfriends yet. I better have a kid before one of them!

  36. Kris says:

    I needed that! Just found out today that my younger sister is pregnant. Not even married a year yet and “Thank God it finally happened” she said, after trying for 4 whole months. “I know how you feel to wait, it’s awful” Really?? 4 flipping months?? That must have been ROUGH. Meanwhile, we’re been trying for 3 years, and I have so many track marks on my arms, stomach and ass that I could easily be mistaken for an intravenous drug user. …. hours of crying later and wishing that child will get my brother-in-law’s nose, I opened this blog. Smiling now. thanks as always.

  37. aunonomas says:

    I am in my 30’s, my sister is 5 years younger than me, at 17 she accidentally gets pregnant on birth control the night she lost her virginity, after being single 4 years later she gets married, pregnant 3 months later, then 18 month later, accidentally pregnant again, another 20 months later, pregnant accidentally again with her 4th child, and she is overwhelmed that it keeps happening!!, now they are considering vasectomy, I finally find out I’m pregnant after years of trying and raising money so we could afford treatment, magically happened and it just so happens to be at the same time as her 4th, We are 4 weeks apart in our pregnancies, I was really hoping to have a bit of the limelight to myself for once but now it has to be shared, I’m blessed with my neices and nephews and my future child, but universe give me a break!!

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  42. no namee says:

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