The instructions say to urinate for 5 seconds on the pregnancy pee stick. Just to be on the safe side, you pee for 10-15 seconds.
There is pee on your hand.
You’ve peed on your hand before. Several times. It’s not your fault. You’ve peed on many, many, many pee sticks.
You’ve also touched your ovulation fluid. It’s not a proud moment.
(Check out the Fertility Journey teleclass from our Friends at the FertileMindSet!)
The nose blow and wipe. Only try this at home.
You were sitting on the toilet this morning when you noticed that the toilet paper had a trace of blood on it.
Your mind raced with exciting thoughts.
OMG. My period is not supposed to arrive yet. Could this be implantation bleeding?
It’s definitely not my period. Maybe I’m pregnant?
Then, you wipe again and the toilet paper is completely clear. What does that mean?! Now, you are sitting (attractively) on the toilet seat, feeling quite happy and hopeful that you might be pregnant until you remember….
You just did the nose blow and wipe. Continue reading »
Dear Starbucks Customer Service,
You should really offer your female customers a Menstrual Cycle Day, half-priced Frappuccino. This will help decrease our anger and make us feel just a tiny bit better as we have an emotional breakdown inside your bathroom. You can call it the Bitchin’ Grande, Extra Caffeinated, Extra Mocha, My Period Just Arrived, High Fat, Whipped and Spiked Frappuccino.
Listed below, I have also included some other Frappuccino suggestions on your coffee menu. Continue reading »
Deep Infertile Thought of the Day–>
“Always believe that the glass is half full… unless it’s a semen analysis cup than the cup should really be completely full because a half empty and half full cup may mean he’s shooting blanks.”
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