Oct 31

As a (fantastic) infertile, every holiday pretty much serves as a reminder that you do not yet have children. Christmas is terrible (only two stockings to hang!), New Years (can’t drink, you’re in your two week wait…again). Then there’s Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Grandparents Day, your birthday, Easter, Hanukkah, Yom Kippur, Thanksgiving, and Kwanzaa. Even National Flag Day and St Patrick’s Day gets you down, and Passover doesn’t always feel so Mazel Tov-y.

But great news! You can still enjoy Halloween. Here are some helpful ways to enjoy this candy filled day, infertile style!

  1. Go to a costume party and find a great infertile costume. Costume suggestions include: Going as a uterus, a bottle of Clomid or heck, why not dress as a lovely white Progesterone Suppository? When in doubt, you can always go as an Infertile.
  2. Go out Trick or Treating. So what if you’re 20,30 or 40-something, inform people you just got a BFN and to fill your bag with lots of loot.
  3. Give out apples with a note that reads “Dear Parent, If you don’t want your child anymore, I will take them.” (Note, police might be called).
  4. Eat another candy bar for every time you think in your head “this time next year, I better be pregnant.”
  5. Go out trick or treating with your dog and see who will give you candy.
  6. Dress up as a pregnant woman during your fertility appointment and see how many women you can make cry.
  7. Go to your fertility appointment dressed as your doctor. “Hi Doctor Uterus, don’t we look alike today!”
  8. Answer the door sobbing, and then scare the children with your infertile sob story.
  9. When answering the door, ask the children (or parents) to give you the ‘trick’ to getting pregnant. Only then will they get the treat.
  10. Scare your husband/partner by showing him his poor semen analysis results and a copy of  your elevated hormonal blood test results! Scary stuff!
  11. HAVE FUN! Live and enjoy life in the moment!

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10 Responses to “#705 How to Survive an Infertile Halloween”

  1. Toni says:

    ha ha….bottle of clomid. Love it.

  2. Jenn says:

    Got to love #3 lol

  3. Angela says:

    Is it bad that I was already contemplating taking my dogs trick or treating? :)

  4. Dana says:

    DH just suggested dressing up as a sperm and egg… :D

  5. Nicole R. says:

    Great!! I soo soo needed this laugh tonight!!

  6. Sharyn says:

    Hilarious! Kids are ringing the doorbell now, not gettin’ sad! Thanks for the laugh. :-)

  7. Dena says:

    I really needed this today…I never expected Halloween to be so overwhelming and depressing this year. Thanks for the laugh!

  8. says:

    Halloween IS tough. So hard this year! I had to hear a friend talking to a perfect stranger about each of their “oops” pregnancies. WHILE trick or treating. WTF?!!

  9. kristina says:

    #6. I love it. I might even make myself cry, depending on the cycle day!

  10. Heather says:

    Omg, I’ve had to stop doing #4 every Christmas for the past 5 years. This is Christmas number 6, and I absolutely REFUSE to tell myself, “don’t worry, I will be pregnant by this time next year,” because it just depresses me when I count how many years I’ve been saying it. So, I’m just going to think happy thoughts about vague future Christmases.