Oct 05

Maybe you’re still trying for your first but you’ve already started thinking about baby #2. You sometimes see a fertile walking down the street with her two young children and think to yourself,  ‘how are those kids only a couple years apart? How the fertile did she do it?’ At this rate, you sometimes feel like you’re future offspring are going to be at least 20 years apart…if you’re lucky.

How do fertile women do it? They have one baby and before you can say ‘ she pops out another one. And you have very little sympathy for your ‘poor’ mommy friend who complains on Facebook how exhausted she is having two (or three) small toddlers. No offense lady, but you’re not going to get any sympathy from the infertile community. You figure that it’s taken you this long to have baby #1, so how long will it take for your next? You imagine your first child celebrating her 18th birthday when you can finally give her the good news. “Happy Birthday. After our 45th IVF cycle, we are finally going to give you a sibling!” You can only imagine that everyone will think your daughter is the knocked-up mom and you are the old granny. Yup, your children are going to have a very special age difference between them.

The great thing about having your children 20 years apart:

  1. You have a build-in babysitter. Your 20 year old can now babysit the baby.
  2. Your eldest has begged you for a sibling for years. She got their wish and now she can raise it too.
  3. During health class, your eldest can actually take care of a baby instead of just an egg.
  4. Everyone will think that your eldest was a knocked up teenage mom. ‘We did the best we could with her. We don’t know what went wrong.’
  5. By the time you get pregnant with baby #2, there will be such thing as IVR (In Vitro Fertilization Robotics). Fertility doctors will actually insert a sticky robot inside of you during IVF to make sure the embryo actually implants. You will give birth to both baby and robot.
  6. Your children will get along, simply because they will never live with each other. Your eldest will have moved out and won’t be around for sibling rivalry.

(Have you entered our contest? Enter to win an OV Watch. It’s sort of like a Rollex but it tells fertile time instead).

7 Responses to “#712 At this rate, your Kids are going to be 20 Years Apart”

  1. Toni says:

    hahahahahahahaha….I’ve actually already eliminated any thought of a second but you make some really good points.

  2. says:

    Funny as always :)

  3. says:

    I think everyone is afraid to comment on this one….

    (for fear of it truly happening!)

  4. InfertileAndi says:

    lol at this point I just want ONE, one little mix of me and my husband to love and cuddle and kiss and spoil(if we have any money after all the IVF attempts lol) i just want to get pregnant with one of my eggs and hubbys sperm is that too much to ask….. I just want one…

  5. oliveoilandvinegar says:

    how true! our IVF worked (praise god!) but I am already thinking – just 1 child will be lonely – we will need more. and wondering how we will ever get more? I think for timing – we should just steal a couple after our baby comes and then have an instant perfect sized family.

  6. says:

    I love the IVF robot! :)

  7. Rikki says:

    I have to say humph! I can see this is meant as a joke, but since it is actually happening to me it is not very funny. I had my son in 1993, and due to personal issues and problems with infertility (as well as two miscarriages) I am now 40 and pregnant with what will be my second live birth July 2013 (God willing if all goes well). I have to wonder if I’m the only one, because when I Google having kids 20 years apart this is the only relevant post that shows up :(I can’t believe I’m the only person in the whole world in this situation, but all signs point to it. At least my son and his girlfriend have already signed up to babysit! Though my son was quite fearful when I jokingly said I would turn his room into a nursery since he’s away at school and put in a bunk bed/crib when he came home…