Jun 26

On this blog, we have had many discussions about our obsession with wiping ourselves after going to the toilet. During those 30 days in a month, we spend at least half of the time analyzing the toilet paper. Early on, we pray for a little red to show up that might signify implementation bleeding. Closer to our period, we pray that our underwear will stay nice and clean (how many pairs of panties have we thrown out already?). We are not even really sure what implementation bleeding looks like – is it light pink or brown? We have asked our friends if they had this bleeding and happy to hear that some had not. But most days, we wipe ourselves, then do the look and toilet paper examination.

Follow these simple rules and wiping will be a breeze!

Wipe clear: Have no fear
Wipe yellow: Relax fellow
Wipe pink: rejoice with your shrink
Wipe brown: Not going to frown
Wipe spotty: You’ll be one pregnant hottie
Wipe red: You’d rather be dead

6 Responses to “#964 Wipe clear and have no fear!”

  1. finding_ac says:

    true true…but the worst is having the implantation bleeding (or so you think) and then having a f ing chemical pregnancy

    ♥ ac

  2. Eileen says:

    Your blog brings a smile to my face every day. So glad you joined the TTC 9+ months or more board on Babyzone. I just had to share your blog with them because you have voiced our issues so eloquently here! Hope you don't mind I shared!

  3. GirlOnFire says:

    It's scary how many of these things I've done. But I'm glad I'm not the only one laughing at them.
    Keep it up!

  4. Infertile "hoping to be fertile" Naomi says:

    Eileen- please feel free to share my blog with anyone. Hope it helps people! No one is alone in this.

  5. daisie says:

    OMG this is brilliant. So, it ’s not just me then!
    Have printed out and will sellotape to the inside of my bathroom cabinet

    TTC2+ years
    Been on this site for around 8 minutes and it has been better therapy than any of the other bullsh*t things I have done to try and make make myself feel better!

  6. mimmy says:

    LOL i have so done this! I am currently 3.5 months pregnant, but I’m terrified every time I use the loo! wipe…PANIC….no, its ok. LOL does not get easier. I cried my eyes out when i had bleeding from weeks 5-7 but baby is all ok thank god X I have pocs by the way.
    Good luck every one.