I think comments made by the Doctor that could be pick up lines would be funny. For example, my doctor told my I had a beautiful uterus. I was thinking he should have taken me out for drinks and dinner first!
I was wondering what you think of the new infertility story line in Grey’s Anatomy (the tv show). Meredith and Derek are having trouble conceiving and have seen specialists in previous episodes. In the latest episode, Meredith has started getting injections in the butt. They don’t say what medicine she is getting, but it is for infertility which I guess means that they are leading up to an IUI or IVF episode.
You know you are infertile when you start looking up old boyfriends on facebook wondering how many children you would have by now if you had their sperm instead of your hubbies, however you will never speak this out loud since you don’t blame your hubby, and completely love him even if he can’t give you children in a timely manner.
While my husband and I have struggled to conceive, I have a certain amount of bitterness that I just can’t get past somedays. I have times when I can suppress it enough to be considered socially passable whenaround the constant flurry of pregnant/new moms that exists on a military installation. (especially following deployments!)
However, there are days when my cynical side comes out in full force, and I would rather perform my own un-sedated egg retrieval than make a required appearance at a function full of expectant mothers complaining about their stretch marks. Thus, my laugh (however petty it may be) is derived from the most annoying of these new mommas and their babies.
There once was a time, in the early stages of conceiving, where I looked lovingly on strangers’ babies. I often complimented, “she has such beautiful eyes!” or “he is such a little heartbreaker! watch out for him in twenty years!” You know you’re an infertile when those days are long past, and now you only comment on the “less fortunate” babies, almost as if to justify not having one so atrocious. “holy cow… how early is it safe to have a baby’s ears pinned?” or “oh boy… she doesn’t stand a chance with that forehead” or “does he see two of me with those crossed eyes?” and statements of the like.
Of course, I would never dream of saying those things out loud. It just gives me my own little giggle in the back of my head when yet another baby is thrust at me. I am well aware that whatever curly mop-topped, big teeth baring, freckle-speckled little baby that God chooses for my husband and I will be the most gorgeous little person we’ve ever laid eyes on. Being a mom sometimes means being grateful for what you have, when you have it… Even if it means wearing “beer goggles” and being blinded by love at times.
I have a neighbor who recently had a baby. I feel bad for this littlegirl for a number of reasons – but mostly because her crazy mother totes her around asking everyone, “isn’t she just the most beautifulbaby you have ever seen?” and she has been doing this for all six months of the poor little girl’s life. I made a comment to my husband (in private) about our neighbor’s “alien baby” and he laughed until he had tears in his eyes.
Cynical, bitter, missing my own angel baby, and questioning this whole “unexplained infertility” thingy that has caused so much anger, confusion, and utter frustration in our household has been a challenge none of us could ever prepare for. Moving forward though, I try to keep one of my favorite phrases in mind… “The Will of God will never take you to a place that the Grace of God can not protect you.” Best of luck to all of you fantastic women.
A simple one…waking up in the middle of the night, needing to pee, but waiting another couple of hours because it hasn’t been long enough since you went last, and you “have to wait” a least 4 hours (or however many recommended hours) before you can go so that the test you have to pee on that day will register either the LH surge or hopefully a BFP.
Oh….how about uncomfortable things said by your OB/RE. When we started trying in Sept, at one of my appointments with my OB I said something about how men have it so much easier. My OB, who is an old, seemingly conservative, old-school guy says, something like “Yes, but they don’t have multiple orgasms.” As if it wasn’t uncomfortable enough having my bare hiney out for the world to see!!
Thanks to your new healthy fertility diet, you get to confuse your co-workers. Getting decaf (or green tea) on your afternoon coffee break? Having club soda at (or altogether skipping) the office happy hour? These new habits surely had the ladies at the office thinking you were pregnant ….. a year ago. now they’re just confused as to why you are no fun anymore.
@ USAFwife – I hate shopping on base! The civilian world is painful enough, but you’re right, it seems that every woman on base is either pregnant or has a little one (or little ones). grrr…
@ Waitingfor1 – Waiting 4 hours to pee is totally me today! And it’s so hard for me cause my bladder is soooo small. Hope I can make it…
How about going in for an MRI (at 5am) and them telling you that you have to get a pregnancy test before they can do it because your last period was 3 weeks ago. (how do you tell a radiology tech in the middle of the waiting room that you haven’t ovulated yet, so there’s no way you could be pregnant? not that he would believe you anyway). So after having waited for the MRI, you then get to go to the lab, wait 45 minutes till it opens, pee in a cup, go back to radiology, wait for the negative you know is coming, and hope that they can fit you in now that you’ve missed your appointment because you don’t want to have to reschedule when the next open time is a month away.
You tell a select few friends about your fertility troubles. They in turn talk to their partners about how nervous they are that this will happen to them too and insist on begin TTC right away. One month later all your couple friends are expecting and now you are officially insane. Awesome.
Beat this one! The last four “friends” who have recently become preggers ALL told me it happened on their first try. Are you kidding me? Whoever is next, please be kind, lie to me. I beg of you!
Thought of another one (don’t think I’ve posted this on this blog!)….How about going to the pharmacy to pick up your fertility drugs and having them ask you, “are you pregnant?” I mean, really? If I were pregnant, would I need the box of opk’s with the included hpt, or the fertility drugs that I just set on your counter for you to ring out? Seriously!! Come on!!!
Are you there and WhatSupport…My cousin got pregnant the first try after only being married ONE month. She’s two months older than me (which we all now in fertility years can make or break you) and had it planned since she got engaged. How she pulled it off I’ll never know. Now she’s about to give birth around my 2nd IUI-guess who probably won’t be oohing and ahhing over her newest little cousin! I feel your pain!!
You’re at the doctors office for something totally unrelated to infertility, the doctor recommends antibiotics and then asks “any chance you could be pregnant?”. I know she has to ask before she prescribes anything but I’m just glad my eyes were already watering when I got there so she couldn’t tell I was crying.
Your doctor asks you, “You don’t get periods on your own, right?” during your latest sonogram. Am I the only one paying attention to my chart or what?! I have PCOS Doc – if I got my period, I’d be at home having sex with my husband instead of here watching my ovaries on a black and white tv screen for the 900th time.
You know you’ve hit an all time low in your life story of infertility/pregnancy loss when, late on a Saturday night, you decide that watching inmates fling feces at each other on Lockup is more “relaxing” and entertaining than watching the miracle of life on effin One Born Every Minute. And you wish there was a way you could channel lock TLC, or–if it wasn’t for Unsolved Mysteries–you wish you could channel lock Lifetime too!
Recent experience…
You are sick–runny nose, headache, sore throat, etc. Definitely sick. Not only do you try to link all of these symptoms to potential pregnancy (I heard you get runny noses when pregnant, right? Google “Sore throat sign of early pregnancy?”), but instead of being concerned about a fever, you are excited because your temps are actually high when they are supposed to be. Also, because you are potentially pregnant, you take medications appropriate during pregnancy or decide to just take extra vitamins. Ergo, you are still sick to make the experience even worse when AF inevitably arrives.
After a year of telling yourself not to buy clothes “because I’ll need maternity clothes soon” you realize your wardrobe needs serious help. You have a perfect excuse for some major retail therapy… but you can’t afford it now because you’re saving up for IVF.
That’s what everyone is telling us to do. Well, if we “just stop trying” we’ll never get pregnant. They say “don’t pee on sticks, don’t stress, don’t worry, etc” We’re lesbian! We can’t stop trying.
How about when you look up ideas about how to tell your dh and family you are pregnant. Or when you frequent the baby section to see what you might put on your baby wishlist. Or you have the 2 extra bedrooms each painted as if they could be a boy/girl nursery tomorrow
A confessed “infertile” friend told me, (after she announced her 3rd pregnancy), “dont worry…youre next!” I thought she was infertile, you know what gave it away…her three kids!…Anyway so she says im next, thank god! Because I had know idea where I was in line if it wasnt for her knowledge!
Or how your coworker tells you, whilst pregnant with her 4th child that shes getting her tubes tied after this ones born so I can be next and then after the birth the tubaligation is postponed and she gets knocked up- AGAIN and every time she shes you, she has this “im sorry” look in her face…
Laggie, that is so me right now!!!! (the good thing is, shoes always fit…and I’ve stuck with those the past couple of years when I can find them…on clearance)
Darcy, LMAO!!
LMEL, people sure are idiots! hah!
Christina….HUGS!!! ugh!!
Okay I’m probably not supposed to commenting on the comments/suggestions here but I couldn’t help myself.
ok, i know this isn’t a q&a, but i guess i’m kind of freaking out. my last pregnancy loss was an ectopic on my left side fallopian tube exactly one year ago. last week i had an iui-and i was ovulating on my left side again- and the past few days my left side is bothering me. my lower left back hurts terribly and i keep having flutters and cramps on my left side abdomen. omg, i cannot go thru this again. i am freaking out. i know that typically you don’t have symptoms so soon, but it feels exactly like my last ectopic. am i going crazy or do i have legitimate reaason to be concerned!!??? anybody else ever have this happen????
how about in addition to seeing all kinds of new friends announcing on facebook they are pregnant, all the people that post complaints about their kids. in my case does not matter friends or family have seen recent post about thier complaints……..errrrrrr just irritating!
How about when your beloved husband tells you that he doesn’t believe that home pregnancy tests are trustworthy. He does not trust them. The reason…..evidently, he has peed on them in the past and some have turned positive!
I don’t know….and I don’t ask!!! It must be a loooooooong, crazy story!
My close friend was going to wait until I announced my pregnancy to announce her accidental pregnancy while on birth control. I politely congratulate her, then have a meltdown because we are both on pills that are literally having the opposite effect as intended. But more importantly, I cry/giggle (criggle? the emotion I experience the majority of the month…) at the fact she was going to wait to tell me…seriously, good luck hiding a 5 year old…
@ Rachel…Yeah. I love it when me and my husband are out and run into old friends and they ask if we have any kids…If we had any, wouldn’t we have them with us?? Here’s your sign…lol
A friend of mine has 3 kids with #4 on the way. I hung out with her, some of her kids, plus some other friends with their kids today for lunch. I had a good time and the kids were cute. She, however, says something to the effect of “this will probably be good birth control for you and make you not want to have any.” And I wanted to punch her in the face. Or cry.
It pisses me off that fertile people flaunt their fertility in the face of those who can’t have, or don’t want to have, children. I WISH I was pregnant like her. I WISH I was blessed 4 times.
Please don’t tell me what I want to have, or don’t want to have. You can ask me, but please don’t tell me.
I’m sure if she knew all the struggles we’re going through to even conceive our first, she would probably shut her mouth.
And here she thought she was just being funny. I’m not laughing.
I laughed today. I found out not just one, not two, not three, but 4! coworkers are pregnant. I laughed when the first asked how soon could she find out if she has twins. I was gracious, the poor kid didn’t know how long DH and I’ve been TTC. I knew the answer too. Then I found out another coworker who just got engaged is pregnant. Atta girl! Glad I could be a cautionary tale- start TTC before you even get married. The third, well its her third pregnancy since the beginning of our infertility journey and oh yeah, her DH lives two states away. The fourth, well, it’s just her second child since our IF journey began. I think she is on schedule for her family plan. Might I add that there are two other recently pregnant bellies starting to show at the office. So I laugh so I don’t cry. And I remember the single best coping mechanism: pretend you are miss manners visiting a nudist colony and don’t look down.
[WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ‘0 which is not a hashcash value.
I confided in a friend about the IF struggles I’m going through.
Her reply: “With my youngest child, I got pregnant on the pill! God works in amazing ways, that’s for sure.”
yeah. thanks. i can’t even get pregnant loaded up on fertility medications and you can knocked up while trying not to. thanks. really.
irrational infertility thought of the day : Tyler and I go to see Fast Five tonight; a movie supposedly about driving fast and breaking the law. Not ten minutes in you find out one of the main characters is pregnant and my first thought is “Of course she is! EVERYONE is freaking pregnant!!” Infertility makes you nutso!
how about your first transvaginal sonogram? when the tech pulled out that giant wand today, i nearly passed out! guess i should get used to it. i have a feeling i’ll be seeing more of that wand…
Also how about you go to the pharmacy to pick up your prescription of provera and clomid at the same time. This flags a concern so the tech tells you to wait for the pharmacist. The pharmacist explains that these drugs are harmful for pregnant women and then says “but obviously since you are getting them, you are not pregnant” Thank you pharmacist lady for reminding me that i am “obviously not pregant”
Here’s a reason to laugh (yeah right), because being a stepmother is enough! I get told that I classify as a mother because my husband has a child. But on the funny side, no having to go through the terrible twos, or potty training. That actually sounds good to me, but that’s what I’m told
How long into my period can I keep telling myself it is implantation bleeding? Maybe it is just happening late? Maybe it took that little fertilized egg extra long to find the right neighborhood to settle in? I mean, I’m indecisive. It takes me a few extra days to decide anything, that’s all it is, right?? An indecisive little one who is nestling in for a nice 9 month stay?? ohh… wait… the cramps just kicked in. Can I talk myself out of that one?
I really just don’t want to face the disappointment yet…
I am new to this site but Infertility and me have been together for three long years. It kind of makes me crazy and illogical sometimes.This is an actual thought I had awhile back and yes I feel silly now for thinking it. To myself. “I bet I just don’t know how to read a pregnanacy test, those commercials say that a stupid number of women cant’ so maybe that is what I am doing wrong. I wonder if one of those tests years ago was positive and I didn’t know it.” As if somehow magically when walking in my house there would be a child there going, finally you realized you read the test wrong so now you can see me, I have had to hide for this whole time till you came to this realization. See crazy and illogical. Afterword I laughed at how silly this was so I hope you will laugh too and not just think I am insane.
You become adept at mental arithmetic and use your new-found skills in a fun new game called “Was she older or younger than I am now when she had her first child?”. The rules are very simple: (1) pick any article in the paper that contains a reference to families (note: it is very important that the mother’s and child(ren)’s ages are reported in the article). (2) Simply subtract the age of the oldest child from the current age of the mother. (3) If the mother was older than you are now, you score one point – well done you! If she was younger, you lose one point and your day is ruined.
I have played this game every day on my commute to work for the last 2-3 years. You’d think that would mean I am getting better at it, however as time goes on I seem to be losing more points that I am scoring… Still, I am sh*t-hot at maths now.
By the way, LB, totally with you on the whole “maybe my period is actually implantation bleeding” thing – that was me the whole of last week. So what if it lasted days and was accompanied by cramps – it could be implantation bleeding, right…..?
One more reason to laugh:
You genuinely consider the possibility that someone has replaced your folic acid tablets with birth control pills.
I regularly think this.
During my last (unsuccessful) 2ww, my husband asked why I was so down, and I replied, “No-partum depression.”
He laughed and asked if I just came up with that off the top of my head, and I told him, yeah, I had. He went on and on about how funny and clever I am.
I finally realized that he was just at the point where he would say ANYTHING to get me to shut up about cervical mucus for a few minutes.
I really like your blog design and layout. This is a very easy on the eyewhich makes it more enjoyable, I came here to visit more often. Youhired a designer to create your theme? Excellent work! …
You can’t host Father’s Day this year because (1) there is no room for food in your frig due to all the IVF meds and (2) you don’t want family asking “what’s that stuff in your frig?”.
I think comments made by the Doctor that could be pick up lines would be funny. For example, my doctor told my I had a beautiful uterus. I was thinking he should have taken me out for drinks and dinner first!
I was wondering what you think of the new infertility story line in Grey’s Anatomy (the tv show). Meredith and Derek are having trouble conceiving and have seen specialists in previous episodes. In the latest episode, Meredith has started getting injections in the butt. They don’t say what medicine she is getting, but it is for infertility which I guess means that they are leading up to an IUI or IVF episode.
You know you are infertile when you start looking up old boyfriends on facebook wondering how many children you would have by now if you had their sperm instead of your hubbies, however you will never speak this out loud since you don’t blame your hubby, and completely love him even if he can’t give you children in a timely manner.
While my husband and I have struggled to conceive, I have a certain amount of bitterness that I just can’t get past somedays. I have times when I can suppress it enough to be considered socially passable whenaround the constant flurry of pregnant/new moms that exists on a military installation. (especially following deployments!)
However, there are days when my cynical side comes out in full force, and I would rather perform my own un-sedated egg retrieval than make a required appearance at a function full of expectant mothers complaining about their stretch marks. Thus, my laugh (however petty it may be) is derived from the most annoying of these new mommas and their babies.
There once was a time, in the early stages of conceiving, where I looked lovingly on strangers’ babies. I often complimented, “she has such beautiful eyes!” or “he is such a little heartbreaker! watch out for him in twenty years!” You know you’re an infertile when those days are long past, and now you only comment on the “less fortunate” babies, almost as if to justify not having one so atrocious. “holy cow… how early is it safe to have a baby’s ears pinned?” or “oh boy… she doesn’t stand a chance with that forehead” or “does he see two of me with those crossed eyes?” and statements of the like.
Of course, I would never dream of saying those things out loud. It just gives me my own little giggle in the back of my head when yet another baby is thrust at me. I am well aware that whatever curly mop-topped, big teeth baring, freckle-speckled little baby that God chooses for my husband and I will be the most gorgeous little person we’ve ever laid eyes on. Being a mom sometimes means being grateful for what you have, when you have it… Even if it means wearing “beer goggles” and being blinded by love at times.
I have a neighbor who recently had a baby. I feel bad for this littlegirl for a number of reasons – but mostly because her crazy mother totes her around asking everyone, “isn’t she just the most beautifulbaby you have ever seen?” and she has been doing this for all six months of the poor little girl’s life. I made a comment to my husband (in private) about our neighbor’s “alien baby” and he laughed until he had tears in his eyes.
Cynical, bitter, missing my own angel baby, and questioning this whole “unexplained infertility” thingy that has caused so much anger, confusion, and utter frustration in our household has been a challenge none of us could ever prepare for. Moving forward though, I try to keep one of my favorite phrases in mind… “The Will of God will never take you to a place that the Grace of God can not protect you.” Best of luck to all of you fantastic women.
A simple one…waking up in the middle of the night, needing to pee, but waiting another couple of hours because it hasn’t been long enough since you went last, and you “have to wait” a least 4 hours (or however many recommended hours) before you can go so that the test you have to pee on that day will register either the LH surge or hopefully a BFP.
Oh….how about uncomfortable things said by your OB/RE. When we started trying in Sept, at one of my appointments with my OB I said something about how men have it so much easier. My OB, who is an old, seemingly conservative, old-school guy says, something like “Yes, but they don’t have multiple orgasms.” As if it wasn’t uncomfortable enough having my bare hiney out for the world to see!!
Thanks to your new healthy fertility diet, you get to confuse your co-workers. Getting decaf (or green tea) on your afternoon coffee break? Having club soda at (or altogether skipping) the office happy hour? These new habits surely had the ladies at the office thinking you were pregnant ….. a year ago. now they’re just confused as to why you are no fun anymore.
@ USAFwife – I hate shopping on base! The civilian world is painful enough, but you’re right, it seems that every woman on base is either pregnant or has a little one (or little ones). grrr…
@ Waitingfor1 – Waiting 4 hours to pee is totally me today! And it’s so hard for me cause my bladder is soooo small. Hope I can make it…
How about going in for an MRI (at 5am) and them telling you that you have to get a pregnancy test before they can do it because your last period was 3 weeks ago. (how do you tell a radiology tech in the middle of the waiting room that you haven’t ovulated yet, so there’s no way you could be pregnant? not that he would believe you anyway). So after having waited for the MRI, you then get to go to the lab, wait 45 minutes till it opens, pee in a cup, go back to radiology, wait for the negative you know is coming, and hope that they can fit you in now that you’ve missed your appointment because you don’t want to have to reschedule when the next open time is a month away.
You tell a select few friends about your fertility troubles. They in turn talk to their partners about how nervous they are that this will happen to them too and insist on begin TTC right away. One month later all your couple friends are expecting and now you are officially insane. Awesome.
Beat this one! The last four “friends” who have recently become preggers ALL told me it happened on their first try. Are you kidding me? Whoever is next, please be kind, lie to me. I beg of you!
Thought of another one (don’t think I’ve posted this on this blog!)….How about going to the pharmacy to pick up your fertility drugs and having them ask you, “are you pregnant?” I mean, really? If I were pregnant, would I need the box of opk’s with the included hpt, or the fertility drugs that I just set on your counter for you to ring out? Seriously!! Come on!!!
Are you there and WhatSupport…My cousin got pregnant the first try after only being married ONE month. She’s two months older than me (which we all now in fertility years can make or break you) and had it planned since she got engaged. How she pulled it off I’ll never know. Now she’s about to give birth around my 2nd IUI-guess who probably won’t be oohing and ahhing over her newest little cousin! I feel your pain!!
You’re at the doctors office for something totally unrelated to infertility, the doctor recommends antibiotics and then asks “any chance you could be pregnant?”. I know she has to ask before she prescribes anything but I’m just glad my eyes were already watering when I got there so she couldn’t tell I was crying.
Your doctor asks you, “You don’t get periods on your own, right?” during your latest sonogram. Am I the only one paying attention to my chart or what?! I have PCOS Doc – if I got my period, I’d be at home having sex with my husband instead of here watching my ovaries on a black and white tv screen for the 900th time.
You know you’ve hit an all time low in your life story of infertility/pregnancy loss when, late on a Saturday night, you decide that watching inmates fling feces at each other on Lockup is more “relaxing” and entertaining than watching the miracle of life on effin One Born Every Minute. And you wish there was a way you could channel lock TLC, or–if it wasn’t for Unsolved Mysteries–you wish you could channel lock Lifetime too!
Recent experience…
You are sick–runny nose, headache, sore throat, etc. Definitely sick. Not only do you try to link all of these symptoms to potential pregnancy (I heard you get runny noses when pregnant, right? Google “Sore throat sign of early pregnancy?”), but instead of being concerned about a fever, you are excited because your temps are actually high when they are supposed to be. Also, because you are potentially pregnant, you take medications appropriate during pregnancy or decide to just take extra vitamins. Ergo, you are still sick to make the experience even worse when AF inevitably arrives.
After a year of telling yourself not to buy clothes “because I’ll need maternity clothes soon” you realize your wardrobe needs serious help. You have a perfect excuse for some major retail therapy… but you can’t afford it now because you’re saving up for IVF.
JUST STOP TRYING
That’s what everyone is telling us to do. Well, if we “just stop trying” we’ll never get pregnant. They say “don’t pee on sticks, don’t stress, don’t worry, etc” We’re lesbian! We can’t stop trying.
Hi everyone,
I just found this story on time.com and I thought to share. It actually got a laugh out of me and I wonder what you think! I wonder if I could ever get an appointment with this guy…
http://healthland.time.com/2011/01/31/youre-kidding-medical-clown-increases-pregnancy-rates-with-ivf/
How about when you look up ideas about how to tell your dh and family you are pregnant. Or when you frequent the baby section to see what you might put on your baby wishlist. Or you have the 2 extra bedrooms each painted as if they could be a boy/girl nursery tomorrow
A confessed “infertile” friend told me, (after she announced her 3rd pregnancy), “dont worry…youre next!” I thought she was infertile, you know what gave it away…her three kids!…Anyway so she says im next, thank god! Because I had know idea where I was in line if it wasnt for her knowledge!
Or how your coworker tells you, whilst pregnant with her 4th child that shes getting her tubes tied after this ones born so I can be next and then after the birth the tubaligation is postponed and she gets knocked up- AGAIN and every time she shes you, she has this “im sorry” look in her face…
Best Buy on a Friday afternoon, packed! ONLY spot available… EXPECTANT MOTHERS…OUCH!
They should have preferred parking for those who don’t want to walk too far out of fear that their newly injected sperm or embryos might fall out.
Laggie, that is so me right now!!!! (the good thing is, shoes always fit…and I’ve stuck with those the past couple of years when I can find them…on clearance)
Darcy, LMAO!!
LMEL, people sure are idiots! hah!
Christina….HUGS!!! ugh!!
Okay I’m probably not supposed to commenting on the comments/suggestions here but I couldn’t help myself.
ok, i know this isn’t a q&a, but i guess i’m kind of freaking out. my last pregnancy loss was an ectopic on my left side fallopian tube exactly one year ago. last week i had an iui-and i was ovulating on my left side again- and the past few days my left side is bothering me. my lower left back hurts terribly and i keep having flutters and cramps on my left side abdomen. omg, i cannot go thru this again. i am freaking out. i know that typically you don’t have symptoms so soon, but it feels exactly like my last ectopic. am i going crazy or do i have legitimate reaason to be concerned!!??? anybody else ever have this happen????
how about in addition to seeing all kinds of new friends announcing on facebook they are pregnant, all the people that post complaints about their kids. in my case does not matter friends or family have seen recent post about thier complaints……..errrrrrr just irritating!
how about Easter Buddy brings you good eggs for Easter vs your rotten eggs your body is producing!!
ok so I meant Easter BUNNY not buddy.
How about when your beloved husband tells you that he doesn’t believe that home pregnancy tests are trustworthy. He does not trust them. The reason…..evidently, he has peed on them in the past and some have turned positive!
I don’t know….and I don’t ask!!! It must be a loooooooong, crazy story!
My close friend was going to wait until I announced my pregnancy to announce her accidental pregnancy while on birth control. I politely congratulate her, then have a meltdown because we are both on pills that are literally having the opposite effect as intended. But more importantly, I cry/giggle (criggle? the emotion I experience the majority of the month…) at the fact she was going to wait to tell me…seriously, good luck hiding a 5 year old…
QUESTIONER: “Wow, I didn’t know you were married that long. How many kids do you have?”
ME: “None. They’re on backorder. I ordered them, like, forever ago. I don’t know, they must be out of stock.”
@ Rachel…Yeah. I love it when me and my husband are out and run into old friends and they ask if we have any kids…If we had any, wouldn’t we have them with us?? Here’s your sign…lol
A friend of mine has 3 kids with #4 on the way. I hung out with her, some of her kids, plus some other friends with their kids today for lunch. I had a good time and the kids were cute. She, however, says something to the effect of “this will probably be good birth control for you and make you not want to have any.” And I wanted to punch her in the face. Or cry.
It pisses me off that fertile people flaunt their fertility in the face of those who can’t have, or don’t want to have, children. I WISH I was pregnant like her. I WISH I was blessed 4 times.
Please don’t tell me what I want to have, or don’t want to have. You can ask me, but please don’t tell me.
I’m sure if she knew all the struggles we’re going through to even conceive our first, she would probably shut her mouth.
And here she thought she was just being funny. I’m not laughing.
Rachel, that is a freakin riot!!!!
I laughed today. I found out not just one, not two, not three, but 4! coworkers are pregnant. I laughed when the first asked how soon could she find out if she has twins. I was gracious, the poor kid didn’t know how long DH and I’ve been TTC. I knew the answer too. Then I found out another coworker who just got engaged is pregnant. Atta girl! Glad I could be a cautionary tale- start TTC before you even get married. The third, well its her third pregnancy since the beginning of our infertility journey and oh yeah, her DH lives two states away. The fourth, well, it’s just her second child since our IF journey began. I think she is on schedule for her family plan. Might I add that there are two other recently pregnant bellies starting to show at the office. So I laugh so I don’t cry. And I remember the single best coping mechanism: pretend you are miss manners visiting a nudist colony and don’t look down.
[WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ‘0 which is not a hashcash value.
I confided in a friend about the IF struggles I’m going through.
Her reply: “With my youngest child, I got pregnant on the pill! God works in amazing ways, that’s for sure.”
yeah. thanks. i can’t even get pregnant loaded up on fertility medications and you can knocked up while trying not to. thanks. really.
irrational infertility thought of the day : Tyler and I go to see Fast Five tonight; a movie supposedly about driving fast and breaking the law. Not ten minutes in you find out one of the main characters is pregnant and my first thought is “Of course she is! EVERYONE is freaking pregnant!!” Infertility makes you nutso!
how about your first transvaginal sonogram? when the tech pulled out that giant wand today, i nearly passed out! guess i should get used to it. i have a feeling i’ll be seeing more of that wand…
Also how about you go to the pharmacy to pick up your prescription of provera and clomid at the same time. This flags a concern so the tech tells you to wait for the pharmacist. The pharmacist explains that these drugs are harmful for pregnant women and then says “but obviously since you are getting them, you are not pregnant” Thank you pharmacist lady for reminding me that i am “obviously not pregant”
Here’s a reason to laugh (yeah right), because being a stepmother is enough! I get told that I classify as a mother because my husband has a child. But on the funny side, no having to go through the terrible twos, or potty training. That actually sounds good to me, but that’s what I’m told
I know understand our infertility. My husband and I don’t get along often enough….why did I think that my eggs and his sperm would get along?
People asking your husband, “So, have you got her pregnant yet?” Somehow, I don’t think that’s what he needs to hear.
How long into my period can I keep telling myself it is implantation bleeding? Maybe it is just happening late? Maybe it took that little fertilized egg extra long to find the right neighborhood to settle in? I mean, I’m indecisive. It takes me a few extra days to decide anything, that’s all it is, right?? An indecisive little one who is nestling in for a nice 9 month stay?? ohh… wait… the cramps just kicked in. Can I talk myself out of that one?
I really just don’t want to face the disappointment yet…
http://www.etsy.com/listing/74843363/specimen-jar-uterus-anatomical-curio
buy a new uterus on etsy???
I am new to this site but Infertility and me have been together for three long years. It kind of makes me crazy and illogical sometimes.This is an actual thought I had awhile back and yes I feel silly now for thinking it. To myself. “I bet I just don’t know how to read a pregnanacy test, those commercials say that a stupid number of women cant’ so maybe that is what I am doing wrong. I wonder if one of those tests years ago was positive and I didn’t know it.” As if somehow magically when walking in my house there would be a child there going, finally you realized you read the test wrong so now you can see me, I have had to hide for this whole time till you came to this realization. See crazy and illogical. Afterword I laughed at how silly this was so I hope you will laugh too and not just think I am insane.
You become adept at mental arithmetic and use your new-found skills in a fun new game called “Was she older or younger than I am now when she had her first child?”. The rules are very simple: (1) pick any article in the paper that contains a reference to families (note: it is very important that the mother’s and child(ren)’s ages are reported in the article). (2) Simply subtract the age of the oldest child from the current age of the mother. (3) If the mother was older than you are now, you score one point – well done you! If she was younger, you lose one point and your day is ruined.
I have played this game every day on my commute to work for the last 2-3 years. You’d think that would mean I am getting better at it, however as time goes on I seem to be losing more points that I am scoring… Still, I am sh*t-hot at maths now.
By the way, LB, totally with you on the whole “maybe my period is actually implantation bleeding” thing – that was me the whole of last week. So what if it lasted days and was accompanied by cramps – it could be implantation bleeding, right…..?
One more reason to laugh:
You genuinely consider the possibility that someone has replaced your folic acid tablets with birth control pills.
I regularly think this.
During my last (unsuccessful) 2ww, my husband asked why I was so down, and I replied, “No-partum depression.”
He laughed and asked if I just came up with that off the top of my head, and I told him, yeah, I had. He went on and on about how funny and clever I am.
I finally realized that he was just at the point where he would say ANYTHING to get me to shut up about cervical mucus for a few minutes.
I really like your blog design and layout. This is a very easy on the eyewhich makes it more enjoyable, I came here to visit more often. Youhired a designer to create your theme? Excellent work! …
You can’t host Father’s Day this year because (1) there is no room for food in your frig due to all the IVF meds and (2) you don’t want family asking “what’s that stuff in your frig?”.