Mar 09

Never trust an infertile to babysit your child. She may want to keep it.

Your friend, Mindy-Sue, asked you to look after her baby for the afternoon. You happily agreed and an hour later, you had a sweet, angelic child in your arms.

Your husband walks past you. “You know, you can’t keep the baby,” he says to you. “Of course, I know that,” you respond. But in your crazy infertile mind, you are already imagining that this is your baby (except that your child would be way cuter and have a much better name than little Gertrude).

When your mommy friend comes to pick up the baby, you don’t want to give back little Gertie. But then she bombards you with a series of weird mommy questions:
-Did the baby eat? How much did she eat?
-Did the baby sleep? What was the exact time she fell asleep?
-Did the baby poop? Did it look normal? What color was it?
-Did you take her for a walk? Did you remember to bring the wind cover?
-Did you remember to bring her bugabooboo, her snugglesuit and her onesie-tonsie?
-Did she do anything cute?

Yes, mommy friend. I can’t answer any of your other questions but your daughter did a whole bunch of cute things while you were away and so did I. I pretended that she was my baby while I was pushing your stroller. Isn’t that sort of cute?

Again, never let an infertile to babysit your child.