Mar 10

Take note, Fertility Clinic

Some useful suggestions for your fertility clinic…

- When the nurse calls me to tell me the results of my negative pregnancy test, please tell her not to sound so cheerful.

- You should think about opening up a liquor store or therapist office directly beside your clinic.

- When I leave a message on your voice mail, please call me back right away, instead of waiting 8 hours to return my call.

- My husband has requested more current magazines and videos for the “special” room. Please remove any material that contains photos of Betty White or the cast of Glee.

- You should make house calls so I don’t have to wake up at 6:00am for a transvaginal appointment.

- I don’t want to pay $10,000 for a fertility treatment. Can you give me a discount or make it buy one get one free?

- Please fire any staff members that say, “just relax and it will happen.”

- If you can’t get me pregnant, give me my money back.

Thank you kindly for your consideration of my suggestions.

3 Responses to “#583 The fertility clinic suggestion box”

  1. says:

    HAHA–”if you can’t get me pregnant, give me my money back.” Oh, I so wish. I even wish I could have the satisfaction of suggesting that. I don’t think any of the offices I’ve been in even have a suggestion box. They are probably frightened of what us desperately frustrated and hormonally jacked-up ladies would say!

  2. Anonymous says:

    I would like a Real blanket for when I have to leave my butt in the air after an IUI for 15 minutes. Not a large oversized paper towel. I am naked from the waist down for pete’s sake.

  3. Alexandra's Mum says:

    LOL…all great…but the last one is the best!!!

    How about giving your nurses a course in the gentle usage of the transvaginal wand????