Dec 19

On the first day of Infertile Christmas, my true love gave to me
male factor infertility.

On the second day of Infertile Christmas, my doctor sent to me
a bill for our failed fertility.

On the third day of Infertile Christmas, my mother said to me,
“Why aren’t you pregnant yet? We have a fertile family tree.

On the fourth day of Infertile Christmas, cousin Sally said to me
She’ll announce her latest pregnancy after dessert and tea.

On the fifth day of Infertile Christmas, Aunt Bess offered her advice
“Just relax and it will happen” was her very helpful vice.

On the sixth day of Infertile Christmas, my period said to me
“I’m showing up on Christmas Day with evilness and glee.”

On the seventh day of Infertile Christmas, your little sister sang a tune
she is now three months pregnant from her honeymoon.

On the eighth day of Infertile Christmas, PCOS said to you,
“You won’t see ovulation until 2022.”

On the ninth day of Infertile Christmas, my mother said to me
“My friend’s daughter got pregnant after drinking some special tea.”

On the tenth day of Infertile Christmas, my fertility nurse said to me
“we’re closed during the holidays but you still owe us a fee.”

On the eleventh day of Infertile Christmas, your mother-in-law began to wave
“please make me a grandmother before I’m in the grave.”

On the twelfth day of Infertile Christmas, hope said to believe
that one day it will happen and you will conceive.

Whether you celebrate Christmas/Kwanzaa/Chanukah or Festivus, don’t let infertility ruin another holiday for you. You’ve wasted too many tears and  too many special moments already. It’s time to celebrate your life right now.

(If you need more infertile holiday cheer, don’t forget to check out other classic Holiday favorites including: #697 Happy Infertile Christmas… Again and #868 Preparing for the Christmas Hellidays)

23 Responses to “#638 On the First Day of (Infertile) Christmas…”

  1. says:

    Ok, this made me laugh out loud at about every single one of them! But, I love # 12, thanks for including it. BTW, I heard about Circle and Bloom through your blog and recently saw a coupon code for 35% off. Enter HOLIDAY35 at checkout. Just thought I’d pass it on! Thanks for a good laugh on this one! xoxo

  2. Jaci Childs says:

    This is too cute!!

  3. Jaci Childs says:

    this is too cute!! :)

  4. says:

    Hahaha, I was laughing out loud because this sounds like my Thanksgiving!!! Good advice though. This year, for the first time ever, I was dreading Christmas. But we have one life, and there is no point in wasting any of the moments moping around…thanks for the reminder.

  5. Stephanie says:

    Cute. I just got my period yesterday, 8 days and four negative pregnancy tests late. Oh well. I plan on enjoying the holidays…and drinking LOTS of wine!

  6. TrishG says:

    Since my period is supposed to start on Christmas, yet again this year, I can appreciate #6 although #11 hits pretty close to home too!! Thank you for sharing this!!

  7. Nick says:

    “On the thirteenth day of Infertile Christmas, our friends still don’t realize too…
    that bad things happen to good people too”

    “On the fourteenth day of Infertile Christmas, Fox News said to us…
    just trust in god and stop causing such as fuss”

    “On the fifteenth day of Infertile Christmas, friends’ daughters and sons….
    asked why our wives kept leaving the room for their injections”

    “On the sixteenth day of Infertile Christmas, we all nearly snapped…

  8. PipSqueak says:

    Nick, I am confused by your 14th day. Alisyn Camerota has been a very vocal proponent of infertility support and no one has ever said on Fox news to trust God over infertility. Now, if you want to insert the Catholic church there, who actually does state this, that would be more accurate. Or if you want to call PETA out for telling infertile people to get over it and adopt, I could get that. However, your attack on Fox News in unfounded.

  9. Rin says:

    Last year, my husbands nosey aunt kept asking me when we were going to start having kids. She pointed to my husbands brother and his wife and was like “look how happy they are with their little girl.” I had started my period a few days before and I had had it. I bluntly told her that we have been having unprotected sex every day, sometimes 2-3 times per day for the past 3 years, but we have had no luck. This was also a very prudish person and in front of kids. But I didn’t care, I was fed up with the question. Last year, she put us on a guilt trip because we didn’t want to attend Christmas.

  10. says:

    OK, PipSqueak, if you’re Catholic, you need to find out what the Church actually says. If you’re not – WTH? I’m not wandering about the internet criticizing what others’ religions say about fertility – I don’t presume to know. The only religion I know of (and I could be wrong – adherents please correct me if so) that emphasizes prayer and no treatment, for ALL conditions (not just infertility), is Christian Science. The Catholic Church encourages infertile people (like people in general) to seek medical care, but declares SOME treatments morally illicit because they don’t conform to moral principles – for example, they result in creating life outside the loving act of a mother and father (this is the flip side of the Church’s stance on contraception; google “Humanae Vitae” and choose the link hosted by if you ACTUALLY want to learn more about this), or they result in destroying or mistreating a (very new) human life – i.e., freezing embryos (often indefinitely or permanently), destroying the frozen embryos, “selective reduction,” etc. Now, you may not agree that these moral principles are worth anything, or you may think they’re not worth more than the chance of having a baby through the treatments that violate the principles. You don’t have to believe what the Church teaches. But why misrepresent it? EVERYONE who’s considered the issue of infertility has moral principles they consider important – whether that’s the effects treatments have on a woman’s health, or the toll they take financially, or the un-naturalness of the methods. If you disagree with someone’s standards, do you attack them? Or lie about them? Why? And if you wouldn’t do this to another person, why Catholics or the Church in general?

    I’ve been forthright in my criticisms of the Church’s failings in offering pastoral care to infertile Catholics, but I see no need to lie, especially to an audience that might not know what the Church teaches, and could actually be deceived.

    For the record, I don’t believe this debate belongs on this post, and think both the PipSqueak comment and mine should be removed – I am adding this merely because I think that infertiles suffer enough already in their faith, and nobody needs misinformation, particularly if it’s malicious.

    Merry Christmas, everyone.

  11. jdfan14 says:

    yep so true===especially the ‘why are you pregnant yet’ i hear that one more time….
    someone will get smacked lol…

  12. Alexandra's mum says:

    Bahahahahaha! This gave me a good laugh!!!

    Love love love the PCOS one….”You won’t see ovulation until 2022″! LOL…story of my life! I’m pretty sure I haven’t ovulated since May 2009-which was the month we conceived our daughter. Pretty sure it hasn’t happened since. But God willing I ovulate before 2022!

  13. PipSqueak says:

    My husband is, and yes, we have been overtly told by priests to pray over seeking treatment.

    Also, no where did I attack the Church. I said that they said to pray rather than seek treatment in response to someone who accused a news organization of this, and the news organization did not state it. I specifically said, “Now, if you want to insert the Catholic church there, who actually does state this, that would be more accurate.” This would read:

    “On the fourteenth day of Infertile Christmas, the Catholic Church said to us…
    just trust in god and stop causing such as fuss” and is really not that different than what you said, or what the church says – is it? Nor is it an attack, nor is it misrepresenting their doctrine. This is what they say.

    Also, note that you criticize my comment, but don’t touch Nick’s.

    Finally, I am not “roaming the internet.” I am active reader of this blog and infertile, and an unfortunately very experienced, well read on the topic infertile.

  14. says:

    Great minds think alike! I just did a similar post last week:

  15. Nick says:

    Geez…didn’t mean to cause such a ruckus. Just a little bit of fun. I used fox news as an example because I saw a couple of reports a while back about…wait…you know what…I’m not explaining myself and detailing what was a funny original post. Discussions about religion can be held elsewhere. Sorry to the original author for the unintended consequence of posting something about fox news. Feel free to remove my #14 and replace with: “On the 14th day of infertile Christmas, my true love gave to me, injection number 723″

  16. PipSqueak says:

    As can discussions about your politics.

  17. Ads says:

    This takes me back to when evil infertility stole my favorite time of the year. My exhusband was an only child and we spent quite a few Christmases sitting around staring at his elderly parents wondering what in the hell was the point. Of course, there was that one year we got a break in the monotony when his cousin brought her 14 year-old daughter over and regaled us with the story of how she had to sign permission papers for the girl to get her tongue peirced one week, then the next week,BAM!, the girl’s pregnant! Don’t they just grow up so fast???

    I have spent a good day and a half cruising through this sight and I can’t believe how amazing it is…where was this when I was in the throes of my infertility despair? My (ex) husband was mildly supportive, but he thought I was insane. Even my one fellow-infertile friend and I didn’t keep it this real between us. I could’ve used a forum where I could’ve let some hurt, bitterness and even a little venom escape during the ten years I battled this monster. You ladies have stolen the thoughts from my head and even though I gave up on my fight four years ago(2 years after the adoption of my twin daughters), its amazingly theraputic to know I’m not theonly one who felt this way.

    After my divorce, I enjoyed the single life and gave little thought to my infertility. Even after meeting my new husband, since he has a daughter and i have my girls. I was SHOCKED beyond belief to discover in an ER (following a motorcycle accident) that I was suddenly pregnant. I’m currently 14 weeks and having enjoying a solid pregnancy, so I felt a little out of place here at first, but infertility defined the majority of my adulthood, and at heart, I’m a true infertile. Thank you for a place where I’m not ashamed to admit I wanted to kick my pregnant cat through a wall! Thanks for soothing my old wounds without ripping them open. Enjoy your freedom here ladies, let out what you personally need to get out.

  18. says:

    Thank you for the laugh! I needed it. I really LOLd on

    On the eighth day of Infertile Christmas, PCOS said to you,
    “You won’t see ovulation until 2022.”

    I am going to try really hard to have a good Christmas. Thank you.

  19. Tuulari says:


    Thanks for this. I’m certainly gonna have a good Xmas. Have a good one you too.

  20. jdfan14 says:

    @nick–kudos to you for not explaining yourself—i so agree. I understood you were making a joke-I got it. It amazes me people come on here all the time to attack or criticize(mostly b/c we need need laughter to get thru the horrids of infertility) and they cannot take a joke. So I say kudos for you post and know there are crazy people like me who still laugh and can take a joke.

  21. ielerol says:

    Nick — just wanted to say how great it is that you’re involved enough to be checking out infertility blogs and not letting your wife deal with it on her own. She is lucky to have you. Best of luck to you both.

  22. Sinan Ozyol Poops Himself says:

    @Ads–that’s an amazing story! How inspirational! I hope you will keep us updated with your pregnancy. Best wishes….

  23. PipSqueak says:

    @Misfits, Nick, and ielerol, here’s a good joke on Fox and the church: