Another Fertility Patient: “How long have you been at this fertility clinic. I’ve been here two months now.” You: “This is my first appointment.” LIAR.
This is definitely not your first visit. Feels like you’ve been with the clinic since the early 80s. You meet a lot of interesting women during your fertility ultrasound and blood work appointments, and since you’re all sitting around wearing a loose fitting robe (and no underwear), sometimes you just start chatting. She asks you how long you’ve been with the clinic and you lie. No one wants to admit that you have been coming to this fertility clinic since before the internet was invented.
Listen, it’s okay to tell a little white lie. Considering during your actual appointment with the doctor, you have to be completely honest and open, answering completely embarrassing questions including (and not limited to)-
- My husband’s semen smells funny.
- Yes. I have facial hair.
- How often can we have sex?
- My cervical mucus looks too lumpy.
- (And the ever popular) Of course, I’ll make sure he ejaculates every second day.
And if you go to a fertility accupuncturist, the topics are equally embarrasing
- You want to know the consistency of my bowel movements?
- Why are you looking at my tongue?
- I haven’t ovulated since the 70s.
You have to be so bloody honest with your fertility doctor, you can tell those other infertile girls any damn lie you’d like. “Yup. This is my first IVF cycle.” “Sure, my fallopian tubes are clear as a whistle.” “I already have four children, I’m just here for fun.” “I love being infertile.”
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