Jun 14

You measure your lack of pregnancies by that stupid dentist appointment. “No Doctor Head Gear. I’m still not pregnant yet but thanks for asking.”

It started off as a routine trip to the dentist. You sat in the chair and thought to yourself while Rosie, the dental hygienist, scraped your teeth clean, “the next time I sit in this dental chair, I will be pregnant.” A few months later you were back in that dental chair and still not pregnant. You may have even politely asked if pregnant women can get teeth x-rays. “We’re not pregnant yet,” You giggled. “But hopefully soon.” Oh sweet naive self. How wrong you were. Suddenly you realized that you  had been in that dentist chair dozens of times and you still weren’t pregnant. And that stupid dentist forced you to make an appointment every 3-6 months. That’s a lot of unpregnant dental cleanings. Maybe the last time you sat in that chair you asked Rosie (the hygienist), if she could see if you were pregnant by looking in your mouth (apparently yes, your gums bleed more). But sadly, your gums didn’t bleed.

You’ve had it. You are not going back to that dental chair unless you’re pregnant. You don’t care if your gums rot, you have eight cavities, you have to wear a full head and neck gear or you only have one tooth left and your dentist has to put it back in with a power tool, you WILL be pregnant next time you sit in that damn chair. Or you’re just not going back.

15 Responses to “#747 The Darn Dentist Chair”

  1. Nicole says:

    Omg I was just trying to calculate when my next appt would be…how many more cycles before I go back and worry I might mess up a pregnancy. Once again, Naomi is exactly what I need to make me chuckle!!!!!!

  2. Misty says:

    LOL. So true, although it is kinda nice to see a doctor without having to get naked.

  3. says:

    Right on target with this one… I don’t have to go back until september/october, but to make it all soo much better, the last time I went my hygenist was 7 months pregnant.

  4. Gail K. says:

    “You may have even politely asked if pregnant women can get teeth x-rays. “We’re not pregnant yet,” You giggled. “But hopefully soon.” Oh sweet naive self. How wrong you were.”

    I totally did this the last time I was at the dentist! LOL!! My next appointment is at the end of September, so here is hoping that I will get to skip the x-rays and have really bloody gums! *fingers crossed*

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  6. Cherbear says:

    Seriously, I thought I was the only person who thought like this!! LOL

    It just so happened to be my 2ww last visit and I asked if I was due for x-rays when I made the appt. I wasn’t…but just to think, I naively was going to say “I may be pregnant, so we’ll have to skip them this time” if they had suggested them.


  7. Megan says:

    OMG… I seriously thought this for the past 3 dental appts. The next one (in Nov) is my X-ray appt and I’m PRAYING I can’t get the x rays done:P

  8. Tessa says:

    Wow, this is me too! Last time I went, I really thought I might be pregnant. Period was a whole day late, but it arrived just an hour before the apt. I sat in the waiting room crying and finally got it together right before the new hygienist called me back. Held it together for the xray question, but then while she had the little film things in my mouth she asked if I had any children. I said no, while starting to tear up, and she replied “Lucky. Want mine?” Yeah, I lost it. Poor lady, she had no idea what she’d stepped into with that one. She really was very sweet, and I’m hoping it was a lesson learned for her. I’ll be going back to her soon. I’m just hoping that she made some good notes in my file of “Things Not to Say.”

  9. missohkay says:

    I found out one morning last month that I was probably going to miscarry…right around the time of this post, actually. I had a dentist appointment that afternon, but I wasn’t sure enough about the m/c to agree to the x-rays. So I just told the hygenist that I might be pregnant. It was fine… but then came the mortifying small talk about when I was going to find out whether I was pregnant or not. After some awkward allusions to it not working out (which she probably didn’t understand), she told the dentist out of my earshot that I might be pregnant but didn’t warn her not to ask about it. So then the dentist tried to make the same small talk.

  10. Lisa says:

    I’ve been doing this with my pap smear.. I keep putting it off because surely I’ll b pregnant soon… going to have to give in and go eventually.. I’ll be tearing up during my appointment.
    Think I can ask if they can schedule me for a time when no pregnant women are scheduled?

  11. Amanda says:

    my last dentist visit involved very bloody gums. Did you know that Clomid messes with your gums the same way that pregnancy does? Yeah… so lots of uncomfortable conversations at the dentist that day.

  12. W says:

    i was one of those “next time i come to my appointment i will be pregnant”, well the hygenist who kept asking if i was pregnant “yet” ended up having a baby herself “and they weren’t even trying!”. congrats.

  13. Juliet says:

    I know this is an old thread, but I just came across it today, and I wanted to comment – I get beta results back on Wednesday and refuse to make an appointment until I know ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

  14. Christina says:

    OMG- This made me laugh out loud! I have a dentist appt this week and I am dreading the question regarding x-rays. I made the mistake of declining x-rays at my appointment last year (I was pregnant). Then I miscarried and over shared that information with the dentist and hygienist. Since then, I have miscarried two other times. To top it off, my dentist is just getting back from maternity leave so I will have to act like I care about all of her post-pregnancy news. Thank you for this blog.

  15. Amy says:

    This is too funny! My first appt with my current dentist was at the end of the 2ww, so they wouldn’t give me an xray. And now, 3 appointments later, I finally decided to get that stupid xray. But now I have to list all of my fertility meds and explain what they’re for.