You measure your lack of pregnancies by that stupid dentist appointment. “No Doctor Head Gear. I’m still not pregnant yet but thanks for asking.”
It started off as a routine trip to the dentist. You sat in the chair and thought to yourself while Rosie, the dental hygienist, scraped your teeth clean, “the next time I sit in this dental chair, I will be pregnant.” A few months later you were back in that dental chair and still not pregnant. You may have even politely asked if pregnant women can get teeth x-rays. “We’re not pregnant yet,” You giggled. “But hopefully soon.” Oh sweet naive self. How wrong you were. Suddenly you realized that you had been in that dentist chair dozens of times and you still weren’t pregnant. And that stupid dentist forced you to make an appointment every 3-6 months. That’s a lot of unpregnant dental cleanings. Maybe the last time you sat in that chair you asked Rosie (the hygienist), if she could see if you were pregnant by looking in your mouth (apparently yes, your gums bleed more). But sadly, your gums didn’t bleed.
You’ve had it. You are not going back to that dental chair unless you’re pregnant. You don’t care if your gums rot, you have eight cavities, you have to wear a full head and neck gear or you only have one tooth left and your dentist has to put it back in with a power tool, you WILL be pregnant next time you sit in that damn chair. Or you’re just not going back.