Oct 26

The Christmas holidays. An infertiles worst nightmare. You really thought that this year you would be pregnant. You had imagined telling your families under the Christmas tree and surprising everyone at the dinner table. You just know that old Aunt Millie will be asking “when are you going to have a baby?” and cousin Gertie will tell you that you’re next to get pregnant!

So how do you survive the hellidays? Do it, infertile style!
1) After you baste the turkey, show everyone you’re own transvaginal baster.
2) Wear a shirt that says “I miscarried this year and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.”
3) Send a holiday card with the greeting “Happy Holidays” Love, your favorite infertile cousins. Include a photo of you and your partner kissing a test tube.
4) Bring a high chair to the table for your used IUI test tube.
5) Hang a photo of your IVF embryos on your Christmas tree.
6) Ask if it’s okay if your partner uses their bathroom to masturbate in a cup.
7) If anyone asks if you’re pregnant, throw mashed potatoes in their face.
8)Dis-invite children and pregnant women to the family dinner.
9) Decorate the Christmas tree with your used pregnancy sticks.
10) Tell the children that Santa is not coming this year because he only gives gifts to kids created from test tubes.

Happy holidays!

20 Responses to “#868 Preparing for the Christmas Hellidays”

  1. Anonymous says:

    LOL!!!! This made my day! Heck, it made my holidays. I like the one about the IVF embryo photos ornaments, and disinviting pregnant women, and also the T-shirt. Thank you so much for giving me something to hang onto when I get to the end of my rope!!!

  2. Trinity says:

    TOO CUTE! Thanks for the giggle! :)

  3. Rach says:

    LOL!! ROLLING!!!

  4. Katie says:

    I love all of them, but #6 is hysterical!!!

  5. KimboSue says:

    I think I have enough pee sticks for the whole tree!

  6. Infertile says:

    You have the BEST sense of humor. Can't wait for the class!

  7. Another Dreamer says:

    Six, omg too funny! But for some reason it was 7 that made me lose it!

    Wonderful :)

  8. Emily says:

    OMG….amazing….I think I could do all of those to help cope with the holidays. Thanks for the laugh!

  9. Jendometriosis says:

    number 10 is awesome…I should totally tell that to the students at my school :D

    But yeah 6 & 7 almost made me pee my pants.

  10. Kelly says:

    I LOVE this! I'm going to find it again just before the holidays so I can laugh again!

  11. Claire says:

    LOVE IT! Can you add #11- Boo when your sister-in-law announces she is pregnant at Christmas dinner?

  12. Julie says:

    I really like this one. I've been thinking about how i'm not going to go to our family Christmas this year, so i don't have to get the comments. Comforting to feel that is a normal thought.
    And #7 was my favourite too.

  13. Mary-Anne says:

    #7 is my favorite too. I wonder what my mother-in-law would do if I did that (since she and my sister-in-law always ask when I'm going to have a baby…) Maybe I should try it? Ha!!!

  14. Anonymous says:

    I also have been day-dreaming about missing family gatherings. I was supposed to be holding my new one month old baby and Christmas, and then when I miscarried, I was supposed to be eight months pregnant, and then when I miscarried again I was supposed to at least be pregnant — fat chance. If I do get pregnant, I won't be able to go home to Canada because I'll still be in my first trimester and I won't want to leave my amazing US health care. Argh, I just can't do this for a fourth Chrismtas, especially when four of my husband's 18-20 year old cousins all have new babies!!!!


  15. Wait, What? says:

    DH and I are laughing out loud!!!

  16. Anonymous says:

    I love numbers 9 and 10! I am totally going to decorate my Christmas tree with failed pregnancy tests, OPKs, some empty syringes from my injections, and maybe some of those ornament picture frames with photos from all of my IUI ultrasounds with lots of follicles but no BFPs!

  17. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for making me laugh. I really needed it. Good luck to you.

  18. mushak says:

    I blank syringes from my injections am completely going to decorate my Christmas tree with unsuccessful pregnancy tests, OPKs.
    I am searching the christian christmas quotes for my nation.

  19. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for helping me get through the holidays in my first year of having rotten eggs. #3 made my year. Thank you.

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