May 03

Finding a fertility doctor can be an overwhelming process. You want a doctor who has a proven track record, will listen and understand your needs during a difficult time and who lives in close proximity since you will sometimes have appointments on a daily basis.

Here are some helpful tips on finding a good fertility doctor:

  1. Scope out the clinic’s location. If the clinic has an office inside of a Pizza Hut and the doctor’s name is Dr. Doublecheese, you might want to beware.
  2. Beware if the fertility doctor’s car licence plate reads “The Octo Docto.”
  3. Be skeptical if the doctor has a that says “I’m a fan of the Octomom.”
  4. Make sure the fertility clinic has good credentials. If there motto is “Wee Wee get you Pregnant” or “We are Productive, Re-productive, That is,” you might want to try another clinic.
  5. Check out the clinic’s name. If it’s called The “Hump to Bump,” “Flirty Ferty” or “Ute R US” clinic, please beware.
  6. Make sure the doctor can pronounce fertility words correctly. You don’t want a doctor who wants to increase your fat-ility, test your ovulactation or implant your embrellas.
  7. Beware of any doctor who will shout “hole in one!” after a fertility procedure.
  8. Do not trust a doctor who refers to an IUI as a threesome.
  9. If your fertility doctor asks you to feel her pregnant belly and invites you to her shower, you might want to see someone else.
  10. You might wish to go elsewhere if the women’s bathroom also doubles as the semen analysis room.
  11. Beware of any fertility doctor who says “we’ll have you eating for eight in no time!”
  12. Leave the office if they have a sign on their door that reads “just relax and it will happen.”

Check out my new column “” over at Fertility! My first post: A movie review for JLow Inseminates.

5 Responses to “#767 Tips on finding a fertility doctor”

  1. says:

    HAHA! The women’s bathroom at my RE’s office is also a semen collection room…hahah… Of course there are several bathrooms in the office. Hmmmm

  2. Cristina says:

    hehe, we also see an RE who uses one of the bathrooms as the collection room. But since there is another restroom, it’s all good. ;)

  3. HllyT says:

    I completely disagree with number one. I think an RE inside a Pizza Hut is a brilliant idea. Nothing like hitting the lunch buffet after a baseline.

    And Hump to Bump…hilarious.

  4. Busted Kate says:

    If I had a doc call an IUI a threesome, I’m not gonna lie, I’d probably high-five him.

  5. Li says:

    That was awesome! I just had a doctor (just a GP) tell me “what you need is a glass of wine…u need to relax”. I have half a mind to sue her.