Jan 18

No doubt, during your infertility journey you’ve had the “Oh my God, will I ever get pregnant?” breakdown. This breakdown can occur at any time and at moment, leaving your partner to believe that you’ve actually gone insane. You cry. You feel angry. You don’t want to talk to anyone who is pregnant or had children. You want to stay in bed all day. You google every pregnancy symptoms. You stick a thermometer in your mouth several times a day. You examine that toilet paper every hour. You stop drinking coffee but then you start drinking it again. It’s official. Infertility has driven you to insanity.

If Children’s Social Services arrived at your house tomorrow, they would totally think this crazy woman wasn’t fit to be a parent.

Children’s Social Services: Would you consider yourself a friendly person?
You: Of course but I do glare at pregnant women or women who look like they could be preggers.
CSS: Are you a patient person?
You: Yes but I tend to get a tad anxious if the fertility clinic doesn’t call me back right away.
CSS: Would you ever cheat on your spouse?
You: Of course not but I have wondered if having multiple sex partners would get me pregnant.
Are you financially stable to take care of a baby?
You: We were but then we spent thousands on fertility treatments. To save money on groceries, I can breastfeed until they are eight.
CSS: Do you ever think about stealing a baby?
You: Yes. But I wouldn’t do it….I think

I promise, Social Services Lady, I’m completely stable to raise a child. Now here, try some of my delicious Folic Acid, Pineapple, Rasberry Leaf Tea Brownies.

photo: here

19 Responses to “#818 The infertility breakdown”

  1. Savy says:

    Oh the truth rings out! Sometimes I feel the same way.. If someone walked into my house on a really emotional day, they would never let me have a child! But I happen to work in social services and know that no matter how crazy your answers would be.. They have heard worse!

  2. Lisa says:

    Have been there!

  3. Shana says:

    Yep, I had that breakdown.

  4. Anonymous says:

    mmm follic acid, pineapple, rasberry leaf tea browny sounds good…. if only that got me preggers…

  5. Cherish says:

    Unfortunately I've been there multiple times! Fortunately I'm in an optimistic mood right now, as we're finally seeing an RE tomorrow! It's about time we get some answers!

  6. Anonymous says:

    I finally found my sisters who are in the same boat as I am. Really, your blog makes me laugh because I have done about 100% of the things that you have written about. You all rock! Thanks for the laughs…:-)

  7. Andrea says:

    Funny! I actually drank coffee after AF showed this month! It's just a little "treat" that I allow myself follwing the disappointment, then its back to no caffeine as usual.

    Love your blog!

  8. Anonymous says:

    I am laughing out loud!! Thanks for making me not feel alone!

  9. Amy Hancock says:

    that is en extremely sad, cruel and nasty take on infertility from somebody who genuinely is infertile. I know you may find it really funny if you finally got pregnant, but infertile people still go through all that but no, it never happens. Thanks for making me feel even more shit about myself whn I was trying to look for some useful information.

  10. Melanie says:

    RE: Amy Hancock's comment. We are all struggling with infertility here. You are REALLY missing the point of this blog. If can either feel sorry for yourself or learn to laugh and be happy again. This blog is neither cruel or nasty.


  11. Anonymous says:

    AMY- if this blog is making you feel like 'shit' than you are in the wrong place. This blog saves my life during a hard time. I am infertile too and feel that you are sooo wrong.

  12. Julie says:

    This blog is pure inspiration and if you don't see that, Amy, you just feel sorry for yourself. We are all in similar situations and feel lucky in life

  13. Anonymous says:

    AMY – the author who writes this blog UNDERSTANDS infertility.

  14. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for the blogs, it always helps lighten my mood going through this miserable experience. I like to laugh, and God knows that I need them. Keep the posts coming!

  15. Anonymous says:

    Amy – i can't believe u think this blog is cruel and nasty. are you kidding me? Stop crying for yourself and learn to be happy again.

  16. ironbunny says:

    What type of "useful information" were you expecting to glean from a blog called 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility?

    Sense of humor fail.

  17. Anonymous says:

    Ironbunny, that is too funny. I actually learned how to not follow a fertility diet, which was great!

  18. liberalgranolagirl says:

    Dear Amy, please find your sense of humor, if you ever had one. Seriously, this blog makes me laugh on my worst days. I read it often even thoug hi don't always comment.

  19. Anonymous says:

    Agreed with all the "apposing" Amy comments.
    A tip though dude, Dont go trying to find info on this site…. For Commical purposes only ;)
    Funny as hell though :P