Jan 18

You’ve had a lot of special moments during your infertility journey.

The “this time next year I will be pregnant” moment.
The “I can’t believe IVF didn’t work” moment.
The “all my friends are pregnant but me” moment.

To name just a few…

But the “I SHOULD BE PREGNANT RIGHT NOW” moment is extra fun. You did the fertility treatment and you were so sure that this one was going to work. During the two week wait, you had dangerous fantasies like how you would tell your parents or imagining your baby’s due date. Then, the negative pregnancy test happens and your fantasies disappear faster than your cervical mucus. You are now left with the “I should be pregnant right now” moment which includes special moments like:

  • Seeing a pregnant woman and thinking “that should be me!”
  • Thinking that your sixth week ultrasound would be next week.
  • Knowing that you have to pay for ANOTHER round of treatment.
  • Thinking that you’ll still have to be a bridesmaid and wear that ugly dress in (fill in the blanks) wedding after all.
  • Stopping doing your “I could be pregnant” fake pregnancy waddle.

Now it’s your “I need a strong drink” moment. Someone grab a drink or two or eight. It’s infertility ‘happy’ hour.


16 Responses to “#817 The "I should be pregnant now" moment”

  1. Shanny says:

    I think I walk around tipsy from my all infertility Happy hours lol

  2. TeeJay says:

    No doubt! I think about this all time because of my failed IVF…I should be 6.5 months pg right now…fat and happy and getting my nursery ready. "Maybe Next Cycle" is the theme for my infertility happy hour (week, month, year).

  3. Rebecca says:

    Ugh, yes. Especially when you figure out how far along pregnant friends and family are and calculate back to when they must have conceived (which of course you can do in an instant at this point…) and think "oh, I should have been *that* pregnant, too…"

  4. C says:

    Thank God I'm not the only one who thinks like that, I keep a stockpile of beer in the fridge for my infertility happy hour!

  5. Randi says:

    Ugh. When my IVF didn't work, my sisters BOTH promptly got pregnant in the two following months. Now I have a couple of achingly sweet toddler reminders of where my own child would be right now. I live perpetually in the "this time next year, I will be pregnant" mindset. Cheers, y'all.

  6. pandadiaries says:

    Good lord. After reading some of the things on this blog I've realized that really, really, really, want to be pregnant although part of me denies it so that the BFN doesn't hurt as much. I totally do the pregnant waddle thing. I also wear lots of shirts the could easily be conceived at maternity shirts. The sad thing is that I am just at the beginning of the whole IF journey.


  7. Andrea says:

    Thanks for always giving me a good laugh! Oh how all those thoughts have entered my head sooo many times :)

  8. Anonymous says:

    This also works if you miscarry after ivf. My first cycle ended in a m/c and to make matters worse is I would get email reminders every week on how far along I would have been if my baby didn't die. Then when I reached my EDD in comes the formula and other products from different baby companies congratulating me on our newborn who died 7 months before. Meanwhile I have to watch constantly see pics of a friend's opps baby that she conceived a few weeks before our cycle and decided to announce it right after our ET.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Something else that makes me warm and fuzzy inside is seeing all my friends who have doubled lapped us by now with their pregnancies. I have several friends who have had their second babies since we have been trying. Awesome…well, at least my belly doesn't jiggle…yet. :)

  10. BlackAngel says:

    Girl that "I could be pregnant waddle is a MESS!! you made me laugh! I'm doing that NOW!! LoL!


  11. Amanda says:

    when we went into a fertility specialist and talked about IVF, i remember the doctor saying "and if you get pregnant here, then your estimated delivery date would be january 13, 2009." that date is always in my head and we didn't even proceed with treatments. yet.

    i can imagine what you're going through and have hope this second round works!! it HAS to!! i mean, come on!!

  12. Nikus says:

    Mine sucked. A friend had given me her baby's crib and changing table after the kid turned 4 and didn't need them anymore. Then A YEAR later after her hubby got laid off and they found out they were pregnant, she asked for it back. Now she is a good friend and almost didn't, but money was tight. Anyway, I busted out crying and she felt horrid. I told her it wasn't what she was doing, but that by that time, we should have been using it. Yeah, it sucked! And what sucks more, was that was a year ago!

  13. Tara Elocin says:

    Been there, done that. It was particularly bad over Christmas.

    It was my "I thought i'd be pregnant or have a baby already this Christmas", "If my IVF cycle wouldn't have been stopped after egg retrieval and my embryos put directly in the freezer due to risk of ovarian hyper stimulation – I would have had my "positive" pregnancy test result today" and "My oldest friend just told me that she is 3 monhts pregnant – that should be me!" moment all in one day.

    Needless to say, I spent christmas cyring a lot. Nothing against memorable days – but that day was too much for any women – and certainly for one fighting infertility.

  14. Anonymous says:

    i did two ivf and still didnt work what should i do now

  15. Every body acknowledges that men’s life is not very cheap, however some people need money for different stuff and not every man gets enough cash. Therefore to receive some personal loans and auto loan will be a correct solution.

  16. smh says:

    My mom got pregnant with me while on birth control. My little sister got pregnant using a condom, and, subsequently, Plan B. What are these genes and why aren’t they mine, too? My sister-in-law (who is already smarter and richer than I’ll ever be; anyone have this person, where you can be jealous on more than one level?) is pregnant and when I asked her how long it took, she said, “Oh, once I started actually thinking about it and had sex on the right day, so the second month.” The baby is due just before Christmas. I WILL be pregnant by then. Or I just might die.
    Anyone…? Anyone…? Oh, I feel like such a bad person sometimes.