You have imagined what your life would be like if you had no children. To go through the rest of your life without ever pregnant, ever being a mother, living alone with only your husband. You love your husband very much but if it was only going to be the two of you for the next 40 years, you might just cry right now. Maybe you can’t even bring yourself to even imagine a life without children, so let me take this opportunity to do it for you.
YOUR LIFE WITHOUT CHILDREN
Starring You and Her Husband
It is a Saturday morning, you and your 40 year old husband are sleeping late because you went to an all night club and you are both very hungover. All your other friends left the bar by 10pm to get home for the babysitter but not the two of you! You ordered more tequila shots and partied with some guy named ‘Big Billie’ until the wee hours of the morning. But it’s Saturday morning and you have nothing to do all day. You might not even take a shower all weekend! Without the cost of children, you and your husband have purchased a mansion, equipped with a maid and a Swedish pool boy named Sven. Your husband has purchased his dream convertible and you quit your job with your extra wealth. During the weekdays, you both eat potato chips and cupcakes for dinner and drink 5-10 cups of coffee a day. Tuesday evenings are a big night for you both, starting with your 7pm knitting club, followed by a TV marathon of ‘Deal or No Deal.’ Your friends might invite you over for dinner and they brag about their children’s new jobs or weddings. You and your husband smile politely and dream about your upcoming vacation to Paris. You are known in your circle of friends as the couple who decided never to have children. You never correct people or tell them the truth. You just eat extra dessert because, out of all your friends, you still look amazing in a bikini and have zero stretch marks. As you age, you enjoy your remaining years in a luxury retirement village off the coast of Mexico while your other friends live in their grown children’s basements. You leave everything in your Will to your local library. The library dedicates the infertility book section in your names. And that is your legacy.
See. Being childless doesn’t sound so bad…. Right?