Jun 02

You have imagined what your life would be like if you had no children. To go through the rest of your life without ever pregnant, ever being a mother, living alone with only your husband. You love your husband very much but if it was only going to be the two of you for the next 40 years, you might just cry right now. Maybe you can’t even bring yourself to even imagine a life without children, so let me take this opportunity to do it for you.

Starring You and Her Husband

It is a Saturday morning, you and your 40 year old husband are sleeping late because you went to an all night club and you are both very hungover. All your other friends left the bar by 10pm to get home for the babysitter but not the two of you! You ordered more tequila shots and partied with some guy named ‘Big Billie’ until the wee hours of the morning. But it’s Saturday morning and you have nothing to do all day. You might not even take a shower all weekend! Without the cost of children, you and your husband have purchased a mansion, equipped with a maid and a Swedish pool boy named Sven. Your husband has purchased his dream convertible and you quit your job with your extra wealth. During the weekdays, you both eat potato chips and cupcakes for dinner and drink 5-10 cups of coffee a day. Tuesday evenings are a big night for you both, starting with your 7pm knitting club, followed by a TV marathon of ‘Deal or No Deal.’ Your friends might invite you over for dinner and they brag about their children’s new jobs or weddings. You and your husband smile politely and dream about your upcoming vacation to Paris. You are known in your circle of friends as the couple who decided never to have children. You never correct people or tell them the truth. You just eat extra dessert because, out of all your friends, you still look amazing in a bikini and have zero stretch marks. As you age, you enjoy your remaining years in a luxury retirement village off the coast of Mexico while your other friends live in their grown children’s basements. You leave everything in your Will to your local library. The library dedicates the infertility book section in your names. And that is your legacy.

See. Being childless doesn’t sound so bad…. Right?

7 Responses to “#976 You imagine your life childless and it’s not pretty”

  1. aphrodite2 says:

    LOL, thanks for the morning laugh! You might just be swaying me away from all these treatments… ;-)

  2. Infertile "hoping to be fertile" Naomi says:

    Glad you liked it! Now go "do your husband in" so you don't end up like this!

  3. foxypopcorn says:

    Your blog is fantastic. thank you.
    It's been nearly 18 months of trying, after years of sloppy pull and pray, but only in the last few months that I've started to obsess. I am trying to convince myself that the story you describe about being childless would be okay too. but I know that it won't.

  4. Anonymous says:

    LOLZ. after 2 years of ttc, I donot have a lot of hope left to conceive naturally. Yesterday was my first horrible break down on phone with my sister in law. Could not stop crying. Never did that before. I am glad I found your blog. It brought smiles back.

    Thank you.

  5. Li says:

    Hi Naomi, found your blog a few days ago, and I have been hooked!! I just started from your archives, so the rest of your entries should keep me smiling while I wait to Ov, go through the dreaded TWW, and then sob my heart out when AF shows up.

    Love love love your posts! You are immensely creative. You speak my mind and heart in every post. Thank you for making TTC seem a little less bitter. Good luck with getting knocked up.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Just found your site and I love it! Unfortunately, I can relate to every post I’ve read so far. We’ve been TTC for close to 7 years. DH often reassures me he’d be content spending the rest of his life with just me…unfortunately, I don’t think he would like the person I would become if we never become parents. IF has already caused me to become a more jaded person and there are times I don’t like myself much; I can’t imagine if I had no hope at all left.

  7. Anony(mouse) says:

    Ive been married for 6 years, and just moved back to my home town. Before we moved, I bought all new furniture because our old furniture was OLD and raggedy, and it made ZERO sense to move with it. When my extended family came to visit, I could see the judgement in their eyes as they concluded that hubby and I dont have kids because we prefer to live the good life! I really shoulda told them that all our new furniture cost less than our 1st round of IVF! lol