Jun 04


‘Twas the night before your period and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring, not even your spouse.
The tampons were waiting in the bathroom with care,
in hopes that Aunt Flow would soon NOT be there.
Your future children were nestled, like dreams in your head,
while visions of cramps start to come before bed.
You’re sure you are pregnant, your breasts are so ripe,
you examine that toilet paper each time you wipe.
But you just might be pregnant, you have all the signs,
so why does this test never show those two lines?
And you cry on the floor until you are ill,
tomorrow you’ll refuse your prenatal pill.
“Come nausea, sore breasts, and frequent urination!”
“On weight gain, fatigue and then to lactation!”
We are getting impatient, our clocks start to tick,
but each month all we do is pee on that stick.
We know more about ovulation than our family doc,
so please fill our womb before our friends newborns can talk!
We thank all of our relatives for those sympathy hugs,
but we’ve spent our whole salary on fertility drugs.
Our spouse has more sex than his full teenage years,
but this time he’s not bragging to all of his peers.
So before our next cycle, lead us the fertile way,
Happy baby-making to all and keep periods at bay!

16 Responses to “#975 You have reached your lowest point and you are now reading a poem about infertility”

  1. Maddie's Mom says:

    I didn't realize that someone wrote a poem about me. Thanks for sharing that. I needed a laugh today…2 DPO and about 11 days until AF shows up again.

  2. infertileNaomi says:

    Dedicated to all the ladies out there. AF needs to flow away.

  3. armyadamsgirl says:


  4. Mary-Anne says:

    That is so funny, but not at the same time because it's SO TRUE. Thanks for keeping me laughing. Sometimes it's hard to remember to laugh…especially on the days that stupid "Aunt Flow" shows up.

  5. Egg Factory says:

    Loved this! You're super clever and creative.

  6. Jenny H. says:


  7. Angela says:

    Naomi, you are a genius!!!

  8. Lizette says:

    Love it!

  9. Where is my BFP? says:

    LOVE IT!!!

  10. says:

    This is too good! Thanks again for the good laugh.

  11. Infertile Poet says:

    An infertile parody poem… sweet! lol. I’ve written 2 poems myself about infertility and am working on a third. Sadly I don’t think my friends, my parents, or the stranger down the street cares to know that I can get upset every time some teenager gets pregnant with her boyfriend. GAH! Anyways… thanks for the laugh! I enjoyed your poem

  12. Waitingfor1 says:

    So glad I came across your blog, I need some laughs! 10dpiui, and BFN yesterday. Praying for a BFP by next Monday.

  13. Jalara says:

    Awesome! I really needed a laugh tonight, at 2am.
    I just found your site tonight and I find it very refreshing! Thank you for this.

  14. Wishing says:

    Awesome awesome awesome. I LOVE it. I just finished Christmas shopping for my 3yo DSD and am longing for my own SO badly. 2+ years trying and counting… Thanks for the much needed laugh!!

  15. Idiot Retard Sinan Ozyol says:

    Very creative!

  16. Whitney says:

    I love this! I wrote one of these about IVF last year – http://www.whitneyanderick.com/?p=2214