Feb 10

The conversation you never want to have with your parents.

“Mom, dad, we have something to tell you. We are having fertility problems. We did a Hysterosalpingogram with our Reproductive Endocrinologist and found out I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and husband suffers from Oligoasthenoteratozoospermia, Azoospermia or Oligospermaesthenia. We are going to try an Intrauterine Insemination before attempting In Vitro Fertilisation with Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection. If that doesn’t work, we’ll just take your super advice of ‘just relax and it will happen.”

No guy wants to know that his penis suffers from Oligoasthenoteratozoospermia, Oligospermaesthenia meaning poor sperm motility or Teratozoospermia meaning abnormal morphology in sperm. If male infertility isn’t funny, why must they give his penile diagnosis such long and complicated names? If wasn’t bad enough, telling the guys that he has Oligospermia with a hint of Teratozoospermia doesn’t make him feel all that proud. Why don’t they re-name to a more masculine medical diagnosis like “Largethinglackingsperm,” “Powerfulpenialspermia” or even “Bigontheoutsidebutemptyonthein.”

Your hubby suffers from Oligoasthenoteratozoospermia. Now try saying that tongue twister three times fast!