Feb 05

Phone Whisperer
definition: noun
1. the act of talking on the phone while your mommy friend talks to you in a whispered voice as to not wake her sleeping children.

The Whisper Conversation

You: Hello!
Mommy Friend (whisper voice): Hi. How are you?
You (whisper voice too):  Are your kids sleeping?
MF: Yes. The kids are sleeping. Wait. Are they sleeping? Let me check the video monitor.

Pre-children, you use to have a normal conversation with your friends. You could talk in a normal voice and have a long conversation. Now, she either (a) answers the phone in a whisper, (b) answers the phone while breastfeeding or pumping, or (c) talks to you and her children at the same time. When she answers the phone in a whisper voice, you also feel the need to whisper back.

You (whisper): Is little Donatello having a nap?
MF (whisper): I think he’s sleeping. Let me go check….(10 minutes later). He just had a poop so he can’t get back to sleep.
You (whisper): Maybe I should call you back later.
MF: (non-whispering): No. I’m free to talk. HUSBANNND!!!! GO CHECK ON DONATELLO AND SEE IF HE’S AWAKE!!!!

You: You don’t need to whisper, mommy friend, my ovaries and uterus have been asleep for the past three years. You ain’t going to wake them.

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9 Responses to “#632 Your Mommy Friend is the Phone Whisperer”

  1. Alexandra's mum says:

    BAHAHAHAHA! So true! And it doesn’t get much better when the kids get older either!

  2. JoJo says:

    She “talks to you and her children at the same time.”….. UGH!! My BIGGEST pet peeve ever with my mommy friends.

  3. the misfit says:

    Talks to kids at the same time – not acceptable unless it happens only once per conversation and someone would otherwise die. Puts kids (whom you haven’t met/can’t tell apart/couldn’t pick out of a lineup) on the phone to say hello to you – just hang up and never call back.

    “MF” – you meant to do that, right?

  4. brit16 says:

    Once again, another great post!! The funny thing is that I can relate to the infertile side and the mommy side. Never thought I would be able to say that, but my little miracle is almost two now. Hope all you ladies will be one of these “mommy friends” soon! http://www.ivfsuccessstories.info

  5. says:

    That’s when you just want to go over and ring their door bell a few times unless they have the obnoxious sign up saying BABY IS ASLEEP! PLEASE DON’T RING DOORBELL! I’ve never rang & run….at least never that I’ll admit to….


  6. Jax says:

    Ha! I have no mommy friends..not even any pregnant friends anymore. In fact, any woman who just got married and is of child bearing age is off limits for friendship. I know that may sound like harsh criteria, but they’ll more than likely get pregnant before me and then our friendship will end because I allowed too much distance.

    The only friends I have these days are online, IF ones who can relate. Sad.

  7. says:

    love this! Check out my success story on my website. We have a little girl but will be doing another ivf cycle shortly to try for #2!

  8. littlemiss says:

    Well done, and sooooooooooo true! You are talking about something that has just happened… and then, you mommy friend (or sister, it also works with relatives) starts a parallel conversation with her children. And if it’s a problem you are talking about… it just goes… poof! ‘cos far less important than their last mischief…

  9. says:

    “She talks to you and her children at the same time”….. My sister is guilty of this one and I always end the conversation because of it. How many times do I have to listen to her say “Wait, what did you say?” GAH! It drives me batty.