Sep 26

Remember the good old days when you had a pap smear and only ONE doctor looked into your lady parts? Those were the days. During your fertility journey, you now have an assortment of doctors, interns, nurses, ultrasound technicians examining your lower region. It’s like a party down there.

As if going for fertility treatments wasn’t awkward enough, why must everyone in your city get to examine your lady parts on a daily basis? As you spread your legs during your ultrasound appointment, a doctor, a nurse, an intern and the person who writes down everything the doctor says, is usually in the room. And don’t expect the doctor to even know your name. You are probably just known as Vagina Number 3004.

The IVF Transfer is no better, except that even more people seem to be in the room, enjoying the view. “Hey, Isn’t that Doogie Howser over there?” “Oh look, even the secretary came by for the show!” For the IVF transfer – the transfer of the fertilized embryo back into the uterus – half the population seems to be in the room. “Hey, isn’t that your Great Aunt Agnes? I’m glad you could make it.” In some clinics, they also shine a bright light directly into your lady parts. Who is the star of the show now? This is not a broadway musical starring your vagina, you know. But you would let the entire cast of Glee come into that ultrasound appointment if it meant it would get you pregnant.

Number of people that have seen your lady parts during your fertility appointments: 10-20
Number of interns that have enjoyed your transvaginal wand show: 15-20
Getting pregnant from a fertility treatments: Priceless

18 Responses to “#715 You have a lot of People Looking at your Vagina”

  1. says:

    Hilarious! I used to be so embarrassed during the wandings but now I’m used to it. At least my clinic uses the paper drape to shield the “view” from the nurses in the room.

  2. scandinavian endo girl, only-aunti? with a hope. says:

    I´m laughing once again Naomi.

    I don´t care about the size of the party as long as I get pregnant ;)

  3. bella says:

    lol! The funny thing is that they have to be so discrete when you are changing and leave you in there for like 10 minutes lying on that bed. What the heck do they think you’re doing in there anyways?

  4. Misty says:

    So true! It is now normal to strip every time I walk into a doctor’s office. Although it can be a bit awkward at the dentist. LOL

  5. chica1982 says:

    I couldn’t agree with this post more! I used to be shy w/my GYN during my firsts paps. Now after 2 years of TTC (one of those going to an infertility clinic) I’m not shy at all. I get more nervous about getting blood work than someone looking down there..

  6. hysterical! i was just at my RE on sunday morning for bloodwork and u/s and laughed when i realized i now have stripping down to less than 30 seconds so they can come in, do their thing and get out….i’m usually in the room less than 5 minutes! misty, it actually crossed my mind on sunday that one day, if i have to go to my regular doctor for something as simple as a cold, i hope i don’t forget where i am and strip down!!! HAHA!!!!!

  7. DeAnna says:

    I am about to start with my IVF treatments in the near future. I am so glad to know that Aunt Agnes will be able to make it ;)


  8. broken says:

    ha ha this made my day! thank you :)i was just thinking this exact same thing as i was being seen by yet another doctor and his entourage!! my “private” parts aren’t so private anymore!!!

  9. InfertileNaomi says:

    Broken- I really think you should change your name. You are not broken (just maybe a little bruised). Name suggestions- Broken & Ruthless, Bad to the Broken Bone, Broken beef ribs….Anyone else have suggestions?

  10. Cherbear says:

    Naomi — i’d say “Please God, fix me”

  11. Naomi says:

    I just found your blog and I love it. I went for a cycle of IVF and felt exactly the same way. In a week of ultrasounds 4 different doctors, few nurses and an intern saw my business down there. It’s like your vagina is public all the sudden. And during the whole 5 minutes in the room, the only thing you hear is the counting of folicules your ovaries have. I will be back to read more and get some reason to laugh about it. Too funny how we share the same name and problem…

  12. sofia.s says:

    unbelievable!!! the party is still here and i feel around me too many people….!!!!!!Thank you for make me laughing.

  13. Broken says:

    Ok I will think of a new name Naomi. Broken is the way I feel.

    Has anyone have the essure procedure done? I just had it done recently and was wondering how other woman felt about it? I think I read too many forums and blogs and I really should stay off the internet cause now I’m freaked.

  14. Amanda says:

    and after all that… all those people looking at my parts… and they can’t find anything wrong. yay for unexplained infertility.

  15. Hannah says:

    Amanda I know exactly how you feel. I have hated going for all these tests and I have come to the point where I’m like – they probably think I’m making it all up or something because they keep on saying ‘Everything’s fine – perfect even’. Ha – if it was perfect then it would be working wouldn’t it??? Anyway – I understand how you feel after no explanation for 6 years. Probably doesn’t help much, but my empathy goes out to you!!!!

  16. says:

    I have decided since people see my vagina more often than people see a pornstars vagina, I am going to start charging an entrance fee. Talk about creative ways to pay for IVF. I will have hubby stand outside the room and say “You going in there? OK that will be $5″

  17. scandinavian endo girl, angel mom. says:

    HopingWaiting. Love the idea about paying for IVF :-D

    I´m at the point that all “my first timers” command me for my effort to make their job so easy….. What a joy, I´m every OB GYNs dream patient..

  18. Juliet says:

    My clinic’s procedure room has the big bright spotlight. I’m considering drawing something on my thighs and ladybits just for the comedic value of being highlighted when the lights go on. (Soooo glad I have the cheap seat when I’m in there!)