You have a secret infertile fantasy. You fantasize that you will somehow get pregnant naturally. Naturally meaning the good ole fashion “bing, bang, boom” way. You really believe that could happen even if you have no fallopian tubes, your eggs keep breaking, and his two-headed sperms keep crashing into one another.
But you keep fantasizing that one day, it will just happen naturally. You will get pregnant on your own. This fantasy often occurs right before a fertility treatment. Sure, you might be having your 80th IVF cycle or your 40th IUI, but you could still get pregnant naturally. Right? You have one month to wait before your next IUI or IVF and you keep hoping that you will magically just get pregnant.
Perhaps your period is a day late and you think to yourself, “Wow. Maybe we did get pregnant naturally.” You feel a bit of excitement thinking that you no longer have to tell your children they were created by a turkey baster and hatched in a test tube. You might not have to tell your children that daddy had low sperm motility and mommy had ovulation problems. You even allow yourself to imagine telling your parents and your in-laws the news…”Mom and dad. Gilda and Marshal. We are pregnant and we did it on our own by having (animal-like) sexual intercourse.” You also fantasize that you won’t have to pay thousands of dollars on fertility treatments and you could actually afford to send your children to school. But then your period arrives. And your fantasy that you got pregnant naturally this month disappears faster than the tub of ice cream you are about to eat.
Maybe getting pregnant “naturally” means having your little miracle anyway you can and fighting for them with all your strength and all your love. And that actually sounds pretty darn natural.