May 16

And you were the first one to start trying!

Yes, it’s both ironic and horrible. You wanted to be the first one of your friends to have a baby. Now, many months/years/decades later they have all gotten pregnant and some of them are even on baby #2. First Mindy got pregnant, then it was Molly, then Mary, and then very quickly, everyone in your circle of friends sported a baby bump. Gee wiz, hasn’t any of them ever heard of infertility before? Then you had one couple left who hadn’t yet conceived and you were hoping that you could beat them. Maybe you even tried to separate them during her peak ovulation period. “Hey friend, can I drop by your house for the next 72 hours? I have this absolutely horrible made-up story to share with you.” But no such luck. Myrtel got pregnant and you are now the last one left on earth to have a baby. Heck, even all your virtual friends on fertility message boards like have received their positives.

Feels bad, doesn’t it?

But you are not the last one. Your co-worker, the one with the PCOS-looking moustache, is not pregnant yet; that woman sleeping on the street, drinking the bottle of vodka, doesn’t look pregnant; and your favorite cousin isn’t having a baby yet (although she is only 13 years old). But just remember, you are never alone and you are definitely not the last one.

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24 Responses to “#760 You are the last one of your friends to get pregnant”

  1. Carissa says:

    Oh, I have totally had those days. Thanks for the encouragement! :)

  2. Tara says:

    Take heart… there is a silver lining to this. I call it the Infertility Bonus… by the time you get your baby (I got mine through adoption) all of your friends relatives and babies will have grown up and you will inherit ALL OF THEIR BABY STUFF!!!! I got strollers, crib, high chairs, potty chairs, toys, books, ridiculous amounts of clothing… the list goes on. Best wishes… I feel your pain and before I got my kids, your blog helped me A LOT!!!! I still read it for laughs!

  3. says:

    Oh my word this is my story 100%!!!!! The worst part of it all for me is this year, to add insult to injury the neighbours cat and my aunts dog were both pregnant!!!! Now if that’s not a slap in the face then I don’t know what is!!!!!!!!!!! I said to my husband, even the cat and dog are pregnant! Hows that!!!

    Everyone is pregnant but me, and I started TTC before all of them! Sure does suck!

  4. Sarah says:

    This one fits me to a T!! Since we started TTC I had one sister in law accidently get pregnant and have a baby, another one also had a baby (she was at least trying to have one), and my two best friends both got pregnant (basically on the first try) around the same time and just recently had their babies. Oh and these two friends were also the type that said they’d never get married and certainly wouldn’t have any kids and now look where they are. Meanwhile, I have wanted to be a mom since I can remember, and it’s going on 4 years for me and hubby. It sucks!

  5. says:

    Best entry EVER! Boy oh boy, it’s like you wrote this one FOR me!!!! I was the first to start trying, and now some of our friend are one to baby #2. Effing sucks!!!!! I know our time will come, but holy crap, when?! GAH!

  6. Where's my BFP? says:

    The story of my life. Just to name a few a friend got off BC and that month she got pregnant. I also had a friend that “tried” for a month and was heart broken when she wasnt pregnant come to find out she was pregnant the whole time. I love how when I was a kid I wanted to be a mom and those that never wanted kids are on their 3 or 4th.

  7. Nicole says:

    Recently, I had a coworker try to sympathize with me that she wasn’t preggo after trying for four months. She already has an 18 month old, and yes she was already pregnant at the time of our infertility bonding session. I think there needs to be a designated minimum ttc time frame for infertility sympathizing.

  8. Where's my BFP? says:

    Nicole I know what you mean. A friend told me that her and her husband were TTC for 6 mths two of those months he was gone for training. She then told me how hard it was on them little does she know we have been TTC for over 3 years.

  9. Rachel says:

    ha ha you guys are awesome!

    we’ve been trying for long enough that the idea of conceiving a baby naturally without expensive intervention seems rather odd…. so when friend after friend gets pregnant part of me wonders how on earth it ‘just happened’ (while the other part of me grabs another coffee and buys wine with the groceries….)

  10. says:

    You hit the nail on the head, as usual….thank you :)

  11. says:

    I think I’m the only one on FB that isn’t prego…geez! Love this post.

  12. says:

    Exactly!!! I may feel like the last…and it is hard to see that I’m not…but we will all get there…;)

  13. 21reena says:

    that was me today :)

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  15. Sara says:

    Hey I look at it like this – by the time I have a baby half the people I know will have teens that hate them! So while their kids doesn’t want to talk to them, I’ll have a tiny little thing that loves me to pieces!

  16. Angeligue says:

    I simply love this website . . . have had enough of feeling depressed all the time, after two years of all kind of tests and treatments. . . really need a good laugh . . . and really need to learn to accept things as they are . . . my friend got pregnant . . . two months after ttc . . . and she cant stop complaining about getting fat . . . i have waiting for that lovely bump for a lifetime . . . but its true that no one really appreciate what one has in his/her life.

    and for a start i am promising myself that i will start appreciating my life as it is and hopefully if i do let go of it . . . it will happen . . . if not . . . than we ll enjoy life as it is . . . . my rationalisation . . . do surprise me loads of times :-)

    all the luck to all of you

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  18. [...] lucky person, but i'd love for it to be my turn as well. Mebbe this will help you smile – a bit?…-get-pregnant/ [...]

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  19. In theory I’d like to write like this also – taking time and real effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a lot and never seem to get something done.

  20. Radialabs says:

    Best wishes… I feel your pain and before I got my kids, your blog helped me A LOT!!!! I still read it for laughs!

  21. phonebook says:

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  22. Catharine says:

    I was the first one to get married. Everyone has kids, maybe even trying for #2 or #3 and I’m still trying for #1.

  23. I like the way the Werewolf RPGs handle the issue: since some of the wolves there are in tune to shamanic magic, they can enchant pants to meld with their bodies and emerge when they change back

  24. says:

    I was one of the first to get married in my circle of friends and 5 years later still no baby. This post was meant for me to read today because I just found out that a good friend of mine is expecting. The worst part is that we have bonded over our struggles to pregnant. She tried for a year and a half and I’m right behind her at a year and 4 months. I’m happy for her, but at the same time I feel like a failure and like I’m being left behind to struggle on my own once again. It sucks! Much harder than I expected it would be.