Infertility Definitions Explained….
Pregtember – the name of the month you hope to get pregnant by.
Corp-peeing - anytime a OPK or HPT is taken at work in the company’s Ladies Room. Anyone who has done this, I’m sure, has visions of the looks on their co-workers faces if they come into the Ladies Room the same time your watch alarm is going off after the 3-5 minute wait time.
Basal Instinct – an urge to shake down your basal thermometer BEFORE recording your temperature in a futile attempt to work up a sweat and boost up your temperature; usually strikes late in the menstrual cycle about the time your temperature would be naturally plummeting to indicate the on-set of your dreaded period.
Pregsplotion – the sudden abundance of pregnant women in your vicinity within hours of your negative pregnancy test.
“The Sperminator” – nickname for any friend of your husband’s who insists on extended sauna sessions after playing squash.
Briefectomy - furtive removal of all tight-fitting briefs from your husband’s underwear drawer.
Transfurryence – treating your pets like human babies.
Furrtility - when your cat gets pregnant before you.
Assincline – the odd-looking practice of elevating a woman’s buttocks after intercourse in order to maximize the sperm’s ability to swim for the egg.
Gluteus Unrelaximus – side effect of the uncomfortable act of propping up the buttocks after baby-sex.
Feather-butting - the ungraceful act of a woman propping her butt up on FEATHER pillows after sex to improve the chances of conception.
Reason suggested by fellow fabulous infertile Cherbear and taken from
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Ha ha!! I think I’m stuck in Transfurryence
Hey awesome! thanks for posting this! (and calling me fabulous)
This is hysterical! Love your site – thank you for bringing a smile into my day. I’m passing this onto others.
I totally corp-peed every day this week. Luckily we have single toilet bathrooms. Of course, it may look odd that I disappear into the bathroom for 5 minutes.
And Pregsplotion…love it.
HYSTERICAL! I’ve quoted many a pregtembers
Don’t worry about infertility, solution is available. so live life happy with lot’s of fun…….
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