The conversation you never want to have with your parents.
“Mom, dad, we have something to tell you. We are having fertility problems. We did a Hysterosalpingogram with our Reproductive Endocrinologist and found out I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and husband suffers from Oligoasthenoteratozoospermia, Azoospermia or Oligospermaesthenia. We are going to try an Intrauterine Insemination before attempting In Vitro Fertilisation with Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection. If that doesn’t work, we’ll just take your super advice of ‘just relax and it will happen.”
No guy wants to know that his penis suffers from Oligoasthenoteratozoospermia, Oligospermaesthenia meaning poor sperm motility or Teratozoospermia meaning abnormal morphology in sperm. If male infertility isn’t funny, why must they give his penile diagnosis such long and complicated names? If wasn’t bad enough, telling the guys that he has Oligospermia with a hint of Teratozoospermia doesn’t make him feel all that proud. Why don’t they re-name to a more masculine medical diagnosis like “Largethinglackingsperm,” “Powerfulpenialspermia” or even “Bigontheoutsidebutemptyonthein.”
Your hubby suffers from Oligoasthenoteratozoospermia. Now try saying that tongue twister three times fast!
Re#1 called DH's infertility "azoospermia", Re#2 called it testicular failure. I think he almost cried after #2.
Is it bad that I read Michelle's comment as REF 1 and REF 2. LOL!
Laughed out loud on the last "masculine" name.
they really do need to rename it. seriously! stillmasulinegivegreatpleasuretomywifejustlackspermcount.
I almost died laughing. You do such a good job of lightening the mood.
Just wanted to say hi. Love your blog. Haven't ever come across a humorous one before. Fantastic! My name is pre-emptive – trying to put it out there. I look forward to reading more of your reasons to laugh at infertility.
Thank you for brightening my dark days! Your blog always, always cracks me up. But I particularly loved today…
As if we'd even be HAVING the conversation with either sets of parents…
my mother would say it was somehow my own fault and I didn't deserve kids anyway…
his mother would be confused about us having sex at a zoo or wonder what the Wizard of Oz's dog star had to do with it… (seriously)
My poor DH had Klinefelter Syndrome. Meaning either the egg or sperm at conception had an extra X chromosome. He’s XXY. Dear god, hermaphrodite jokes are scary around us. He’s now at risk for osteoporosis and breast cancer. And has to be on testosterone the rest of his life. And produces not one little itty bitty swimmer. Not necessarily a bad name, but then you tell people it means he’s XXY and they just get this look on their faces…..*sigh*.
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