#814 Please don’t give us infertility advice
The infertility advice.
It comes from anyone and everyone from your Great Aunt Mildred (“In my day, I would drink a special tea to get pregnant”) to your eyebrow waxing lady (“I got pregnant by getting really drunk“). Did we ask for your advice? It seems that everyone believes they are qualified to hand out infertility advice but somehow it’s not reciprocal. Your mommy friend can give you advice on your IVF treatment but you can’t give her parenting tips?
MOMMY FRIEND: Little Tommy just won’t sleep through the night. We’re currently trying the Cryhiseyesout method but nothing seems to be working.
YOU: Have you tried a routine and putting him to bed every night at the same time? (Her look says, why is this childless woman giving me parenting advice?)
YOU: We’re going for our fourteenth IVF cycle next month.
MF: I heard putting pillows under your behind after sex will help.
(Your look says, that was so five years ago, lady).
Great news! Everyone is allowed to give you infertility advice and you are not allowed to give out any advice whatsoever. Great. That seems completely fair.
photo: here
So true!!! Love it!
OMG – Hysterical! I wish I could send this to some of my mommy friends
Oh good lord, need to send this to my mother in law RIGHT NOW!!
Oh.My.Gosh. SO TRUE!
I love this site, levity allows us to survive hardships! I will bookmark you for others to share!
That sums it up perfectly.
Oh I went through this. It drove me crazy. I just got to where I would say, "You know what we have been trying to have a baby for 12 years do you not think we have tried sex every way possible?" That shut them up.
This is so true.
I think we can turn this into a new IF motto.
"No one trusts parenting advice from an infertile so why should infertiles trust infertility advice from a parent"
or
"Fertiles are so smart. They don't only know how to raise kids but they also are infertility experts".
SERIOUSLY – i just finished reading through this entire blog and i must say you have given me LOTS to laugh about and relate to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you x a million.
And I actually nicely told my friend how hurtful it was to shove advice in my face. Luckily she responded kindly!
LOL!! SO TRUE!!!
How true. I freaking hate the advice!
Too true….
I even get paid to work with children and my advice means nothing!
The best (worst) advise I was given was by a very sweet and well meaning friend who told me that I just needed to eat 'Total Brand' cereal…it worked for someone she knew. OOHHH… so after six years of infertility, $10,000 + on treatments, a miscarriage, etc. all I needed to do was eat some mother f*^%king cereal!
The answer is in the cereal! How about eating Lucky Charms?
I don't know of any fertility benefits to eating Lucky Charms but I do know that they are magically delishious.
My favorite advice thus far? "Just stop thinking about it. It always happens when you stop thinking so hard about it."
I loved this post! It's so true. This is why I don't complain to anyone I don't already know has the same issues as I do. That way no one can mistakenly take my ranting for please tell me what I'm doing wrong!
I wish I had this site when I needed it. There was no where to turn for support. Yes, that is so true that you don't want advice. Well this is definitely not advice but this is what happened to me. After years of agony of trying to get pregnant I went on a shopping spree and bought a ton of shoes and I got into buying nice undergarments. Eventually it did actually work and I got pregnant with twins. Never was I able to wear any of these items. My feet grew and my body will never be the same to wear anything like what I bought. My twins are on their way to college next year. Infertility changed me forever, even more on the inside than the outside.. I will never forget what I went through to get them. My thoughts are with you all.