Sep 13

Positive affirmations.

You have read the book, The Secret, and know that if you really believe something will happen, it will. Oprah says so. People have told you that if you believe you will get pregnant, then it will happen. So why hasn’t it yet? In the inner workings on your mind, you repeat positive pregnancy affirmations in hopes that your womb will somehow hear your pregnancy desires.

I will get pregnant.” “I will be a mother.” “I will have a baby this year.” “I will carry a child to term.”

I will keep saying these positive pregnancy affirmations so my partner’s sperm will hear. If only you were Mel Gibson in the stellar movie, What Women Want, and someone could actually hear your inner thoughts.

After an IUI, it may look like you are laying on your back with your eyes shut but you are really meditating. If only the nurse knew what you were really thinking. “These sperms are strong and plentiful.” “My uterus is a happy and inviting place.” “I will ovulate and reproduce.”

After baby making sex, your partner is happily sleeping while you lay on your back in an elevated position for the next 30 minutes. My partner’s sperms have only one tail and head.” “My cervical mucus is a warm and sperm-healthy environment.” “My fallopian tubes are open and clear.”

If only Mel Gibson could hear the thoughts of an infertile woman. He might need another drink after his return from rehab.

14 Responses to “#897 If only people could read your infertile mind”

  1. Pundelina says:

    rofl – been there done that.

  2. liberalgranolagirl says:

    LOL! True, true, so very true. I have those same thoughts and think those same positive statements, haha.

  3. Anonymous says:

    This post cracked me up! Your blog is a bright ray of sunshine in the grey world of infertility.. thank you so much.

  4. Oh Baby says:

    I'm with you. I try envision the sperm racing towards the finish line! I even put a hand over my abdomen to keep it "warm" in there. Crazy, I know.

  5. InfertileNaomi says:

    Keep smiling and believing. Even if you feel discouraged, I have enough hope for all of us.

  6. finding_ac says:

    yah that is a nice concept to think things are going to happen so that they do….too bad i LOATHE OPRAHS stupid religion, it actually makes me really PO'ed to think that she is competing with!

    ♥ ac

  7. MK says:

    Ha, I like you, ac. :)

  8. Sara Renee says:

    Oh this made me laugh so very hard!

  9. Another Dreamer says:

    Hehehe. I just found your blog yesterday, and have now read all the posts.

    Love it, love it, love it :)

  10. Anonymous says:

    OMG! I too fold my hands over my stomach to keep it warm and chant "swim babies, swim" while DH snores away! I just found your blog a couple weeks ago, and want to thank you for making me laugh on days when all I want to do is cry. BTW, if I ever do get to have a baby shower I am totally handing out condoms as favors!

  11. InfertileNaomi says:

    Welcome new infertiles! Love your comments.

  12. Anonymous says:

    Hysterical! I also repeat these mantras to myself to try to stay positive and convince my reproductive system to work. Thank you so much for this blog. It brings a smile to my face on even the saddest days in this difficult journey.

  13. callmemama says:

    You know, my dad actually sent me a copy of the Secret for a birthday a couple years ago right after I had surgery and was diagnosed with endo. He's asked me repeatedly if I watched it (No, I didn't). I'm a fan of positive thinking, but he thinks that I could have avoided this disease and IF if only I would "attract more positive outcomes" with my thoughts. Thanks, Dad. So helpful.

  14. Bandraoi says:

    LOL! I lay there, trying to envision the egg and sperm, like an educational video from health class.