Parties with your friends sure have changed.
Once upon a time, the night ended with Mikey drinking too much and puking in your garden, and now the party starts at 2:00pm and ends by 4:00pm to coincide with baby nap time.
And then all the first birthday parties begin.
You and your husband arrive to a bunch of toddlers running around. Alcohol is minimal, if any, and there are heart shaped cookies for snack. You would have had a piece of birthday cake but you were turned off by the sight of your friends bottled breast milk sitting beside it.You can no longer have a conversation with your girlfriends without talking about breast pumps, strollers or dirty diapers. And they don’t talk to you about it. They are talking to your other mommy friends and you just stand in the corner, pretending to listen. Your daddy friend, Billy, who once ran naked through your street on a dare, now says words like “milky milk,” or asks “what sound does a doggie make?” or “who has a dirty bum bum?” You friends all chase after their kids or are busy reading a story about a cat and a furry bunny. Out loud. You all sing happy birthday to the birthday girl with a baby squeaky voice, and then politely clap and giggle as she throws cake in her face.
If you want to change the subject, try talking about your latest IVF cycle or how embryos were removed from your uterus last week. Perhaps, your mommy friends would be interested in your latest cervical mucus discovery or that your temperature was slightly higher this morning, making you feel somewhat happier. And please don’t make us hold your baby because we really want to but we’re tempted to steal it.
Happy 1st birthday.
LOL!! Love it.
I know Mikey
haha
I have NO idea why people continue to invite us
to baby birthday parties, what do they think their
infertile friends would do at this party, besides
stand there and look out of place. Way to show
off ladies, stop inviting us, there is nothing for
us there!!!
I am new to your blog and simply love it!! I am hooked onto it.. whenever I have a bad day or get worried about my upcoming FET cycle.. I read your blog and laugh away.. makes my worries go away.. thank you thank you!!
About the B'day party thingy.. I think people invite us as a couple with no kids because we don't mind buying nice presents
the rest of the parents just pass on gifts they did not like or use for their kids heheheh 
Can totally relate!! It's sad when it's a birthday party for your friend's second or third child already.
After just leaving a gathering where "Mommy" was the only language that was spoken, I was happy to read your comical take on baby birthday parties. Seriously though, is there nothing else to talk about after you have chidren? I mean come on, they have to have some interests that don't involve changing dirty diapers and breastfeeding, right? Maybe not, I wish I knew!
SO funny b/c I actually went to one this weekend and it was a complete BEATING! After an hour, sitting around looking at everyone else's babies, I had enough and gave my husband the "we are outta here signal" and we ran for the car.
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I found your blog through The Squawkery (Michele) and I love this post! V funny and so true. I always feel like the creepy "aunt" with no children who desperately tries to talk to and play with the kiddies and empathize with the mommies. But where have all those late night partiers gone?? (Never to be seen again.)
And what's with all the thrilling cake-in-the-face? Gross.
Come visit my blog any time.
We are now the only couple at the birthday parties who don't have any of our own. When all the kids are playing I'll get asked by a mom which one is mine, sometimes I just think I should point to one and say "that one" but I'm worried I'll pick that mother's kid. So, I just help myself to lots of adult beverages!
Definately difficult to fit in at the baby parties, with no baby! I have just found this blog – i am hoping that it will keep me entertained and cheerful!
:lol
your blog is just what the doctor ordered!
We brought the alcohol to the baby birthday party and parents were grateful for it. Somehow they didn't think of it themselves. Seriously? We didn't bring enough–parents of 1 and 2 year olds chug it when they get it.
parties are great esp for our children! those memories remains and when you start thinking about it. You can help yourself but to smile and all those give-away really gives someone a memory.
baby gifts
Love your blog!!
"please don't make us hold your baby because we really want to but we're tempted to steal it."
That is so me!!