Nov 23

Typical Month of the Infertile

Negative pregnancy test.
Cry on toilet.
Cry in bed.
Cry at work in bathroom.
Day 3, fertility appointment.
Wonder if you should try having sex during your period.
Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.
Inspect toilet paper after wiping hourly.
Fight with partner about infertility.
Friend announces she’s pregnancy. Emotional breakdown.
Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, (shooting blanks)
Two week wait.
Facebook friend posts a picture of her bump. Cry.
Baby shower invite. Cry about that.
Analyze for early pregnancy symptoms.
Google: “Right breast feels heavier than left breast. Am I Pregnant?”
Google: “Peeing a lot at night, IUI.”
Google: “Left nipple looks darker. Pregnancy?”
Google: “Metallic taste in mouth. Pregnant?”
Inspect toilet paper after wiping hourly.
Hope for implantation bleeding.
Test early or wait for period.
Mental breakdown.


18 Responses to “#847 The Infertility Life Cycle”

  1. Pregnant Yuppy says:

    Don't forget – stare at your BBT chart for hours to try to find a pattern

  2. Anonymous says:

    Just did my first IUI today – so, I'm about half way through!

  3. Rach says:

    LOL. Pretty much sums it up.

  4. Yummy Mummy says:

    You said it. Don't forget that facebook friend always comments that it was such an unexpected surprise! They didn't even want another, followed by you just hav to relax to get pregnant.

  5. Nichole says:

    Wow – can I copy this? This is SO funny and I would love to share it!

  6. Shanny says:

    This is 100% fact.
    Love it lol

  7. Jessica says:

    Your blog should really be a book! LOVE it and it helps me so much

  8. Jessica says:

    I'm surprised we're not all in the looney bin…

  9. zengirl says:

    Wow! We IFs are a unique breed! This is horrifyingly true. But my Infertility Life Cycle usually starts with "Stockpile Pee Sticks" right after the crying's done!

  10. Carolyne says:

    I've had 3 'friends' post on FB in the last week alone. It sucks.

  11. The Quest For Baby Hang says:

    I agree with Jessica…

  12. April says:

    Sooooo true!

  13. April says:

    Ps: I went through and deleted some of the preggos on my facebook – the weekly ultrasound and bump pics were WAY too much for me to handle. It actually felt really good considering these weren't best friends or anything.

  14. Melissa F. says:

    OMG do I know you? The beginning sounds just like my life, especially the crying at work. I was actually sent home one day because I was such a mess. (I am a teacher and the office secretary, librarian, and my neighbor teacher all saw what a mess I was and told me to go home.) My friend was being induced that day with her second. We started trying a year before she got pg with her second.

  15. Baby On Mind says:

    This is really great.

    We should all come with warnings!

    It would be interesting to see what the typical month of an infertile's husband/partner looks like!

  16. Jen says:

    Saddly most “regular” people think the sex sex sex part makes everything else worth it because they think it’s fun. Yeah recreational sex is fun, baby making sex is not recreational.

  17. Calmantha says:

    I just stopped breathing when I ready the “Google: “Metallic taste in mouth. Pregnant?”” I just did that right before I read this post. I seriously google everything as if it was a symptom. I know I’m crazy, but thanks for letting me feel like I’m not alone. Love this blog!

  18. says:

    Don’t forget the Sunday family dinner where people ask the QUESTION over and over again.