Sep 18

At the beginning, you had no idea that it was not recommended to pee following sex.

There were many times when you happily rushed off to the toilet after an adventurous baby-making experience. Your future children poured out of you and quietly drowned into the toilet bowl. Bad, bad mother. Later, when you started waiting that 30 minutes before going to the bathroom, you thought of all those poor little babies that met their early death by toilet water. Think that a miscarriage is the only way to lose a baby? How about the time where your future child dripped down your legs or met their death in a puddle in your panties? Maybe you let out a loud cough, and a gush of sperm stained your bed or perhaps, you wiped the remaining liquid on a piece of toilet paper.

Watching your babies helplessly drown in a toilet bowl is terribly sad. A good mother would have saved them and stuck them back inside.

12 Responses to “#890 You urinated on your child”

  1. jenicini says:

    Omg! I use to take pleasure in getting them out as fast as possible. Poor kids, I threw them in the pool without floaties.

  2. Kate says:

    Quite possibly my favorite post so far. Fantastic!

  3. Shanny says:

    I am laughing my ass off! This is beyond hilarious, kudos to you!

  4. finding_ac says:

    ha ha…why doesnt anyone teach us these things- why o' why do we need to learn them on our own?! to me, i was so freaked out to get a UTI i was INSISTANT on peeing afterward…instead the doctor gives me antibiotics to i can try to keep em inside…much to the help of them being pushed back in again via good ole hubby fingers.

    ♥ ac

  5. Katie says:

    I can't stop laughing!!!

  6. Elizabeth says:

    too funny and so true!!!

  7. Another Dreamer says:

    Hahaha, we were so misguided :)

  8. Amy says:

    Seriously- there is no one in the infertility blog world quite like you my dear. :-)

  9. Joanne says:


  10. Elissa says:

    so funny and so true. Now we can have another thing to have a complex about. I love your blog!

  11. The Barreness says:

    OH my goodness.. I laughed so hard I woke up one of my children. (who are not my genetics…I am infertile). Poor thing, she thought mommy was having convulsions! This post is hysterical! Made me feel better today as I sit here on 10dpo still suffering from clomid hotflashes and realizing that this cycle will be over any day now. OH well.. I should have bought them floaties!

  12. Anonymous says:

    On a day that has been less than fun – went to dr. for bloodwork – one more time, found out an evil stepsister is pregnant (AGAIN!), and had my mom tell me that I had no reason to be upset about things, this was the first thing that I've read that made me laugh. Thank you very much.