Sep 17

Thank goodness for the fertility nurses clear explanation about the IVF process.

The nurse will contact you to clearly explain the following process for your treatment:

On your day one, twirl around than contact the clinic to book an appointment with the nurse, call in the morning but not after 2pm, you will go to the drugstore and purchase a slew of fertility drugs, wear a red sundress, you will start Lupron after watching an episode of Dr. Phil, you will come into the clinic on your day three for blood work and ultrasound, you will start birth control pill and you might take the pills from 21 through 230 days, you will start your Superovulatory drugs and follicles will start to develop, eat a candy bar, ultrasound and blood, reduce then increase drugs, dye your hair brown then blond, days 4-87 reduce your other drugs, and start your shots, come into the clinic day 6, ultrasound and blood, reduce pink pill and start blue pill, day 170 HCG shot at exactly midnight, tracks eggs, eat eggs from fridge on brown toast, line embroyos, injections, transfer, Progesteron…. Day 2 wear red, Day 8 wear green, Day 9 turn sideways, Day 16 raise your left hand, Day 280, Day 66, Day 109….

Take Superovulatory drugs….Birth Control….Progesteron….Lupron…Reduce, Increase drugs daily…..

Do you have any questions?

YES! What the f*%# did you just say?? My head hurts.

Don’t forget to for my blog!


6 Responses to “#891 The nurse’s clear explanation about the IVF process”

  1. Michelle says:

    Lol. I love it! Glad I'm glad I'm not the only one who went "What?!?!?" when they explained everything to me.

  2. finding_ac says:

    yah, even listening to some of these ladies blog about it i have to ask all these questions…cause they dont even seem to know what it is that they are doing! lol

    ♥ ac

  3. Illanare says:

    Thank you so much for making me laugh this evening when I didn't think anything would.

  4. Shanny says:

    heehee this was great!

  5. The Adventurous Writer says:

    Omigosh, I'm so glad you posted on my blog (Quips & Tips for Couples Coping With Infertility) — because that's how I found you! You're hilarious, and I'm gonna add you to my RSS feed right now….

    And you took the words out of my mouth when you tweeted "If I had a penny for every failed IUI…." :-)

  6. Anonymous says:

    He he very funny!!

    Your page is always good for a laugh when it feels like there isn't much to smile at :o)