Jul 18

Great news! You might never have to explain where babies come from to your future children.


Most parents will have an awkward time of trying to explain to their young children how babies are conceived, and how to have sexual intercourse. Remember when your parents told you? Or maybe you don’t because you learned it from all the other kids on the playground. But your children will know the truth from an early age.

You can hardly wait to get the question: “Mommy. Where do babies come from?” You have your answer all ready. You will answer: “Sweetheart, when two people really love each other, they go to a fertility specialist who makes a baby for them. The mommy will get all these fun tests to make sure her insides are working, and daddy will have to pee into a small cup. But instead of pee, it will be a white color. Then daddy will pretend he is a doctor and give mommy medication and stick a tiny, little needle in her behind. Mommy might not feel good and look a little fat from all the medication. Then mommy and daddy will visit the hospital, and mommy will go to sleep while daddy pees again in a small cup. Then, mommy will wake up and relax in her bed until the doctor tells us if you are in mommy’s tummy yet. And that’s how babies are made.”

You should tell the kids this story early on so all the other school kids will know the truth too.

5 Responses to “#948 You might never have to explain the ‘birds and the bees’ to your future kids”

  1. Mandy says:


  2. Fertility Chick says:


  3. Katie says:

    That is awesome- I'm taking notes for the future!

  4. Egg Factory says:

    Too funny – I have a similar section in my book about not having to talk about penises and vaginas and instead discussing petri dishes.

  5. Jenn says:

    Oh dear god! lol & Yet soooooooooo true…so very very true….