Last week your sweet husband innocently said to you: “Honey (except he doesn’t really call you honey but you wish he did), let’s book a vacation in February.”
Your first thoughts were: How can we book a vacation that far in advance?! I know it’s six months from now but what if we’re in the middle of fertility treatments? Don’t we have to save money anyways? What if I’m pregnant by then? I probably won’t want to fly during first trimester.
What you actually say to him: “That sounds nice, dear (except you don’t usually call him dear. You aren’t 70 years old). Let’s just book it closer to the time.”
It’s best to keep those infertile thoughts to yourself. It will save you the following argument:
Him: “I’m tired of having my life revolve around fertility treatments! Can’t we just book a vacation for once!!!”
You: (tears) “You don’t understand! Everyone has a baby but us” (storm upstairs to the bedroom. Slam door).
Fertility Tip: If you are having some crazy infertile thoughts, it’s best to keep them to yourself.
Ha, that happened to me! We ended up driving for 8 hours to get to our holiday destination instead of flying as I had just had my 2nd round of IUI.
This is a true story. Like it happened to me. Yesterday.
We’re actually going through that now. DH wants to go away but we have an appointment with the consultant and there is no way in hell I am pushing off that appoinment.
I love the phrase infertile thoughts – it’s a paradox – the only thing that does grow during the whole inferitility process is the endless stream of thoughts.
Very true! The whole family is going to Mexico in January. Not us! We’ll be either going through treatments or *hopefully* pregnant by then. And how can we afford to go! That’s one and a half cycles paid for!!
One thing that I’ve FINALLY leaned through years of fertility treatment is that you can’t stop living your life. When I planned my whole life around my fertility treatments it was hard to remember who I was (Wow, I’m really not an emotional wreck all the time? Who knew?) My advice would be just book the vacation! If your pregnant, I doubt that you would mind not drinking those margaritas on the beach. If you’re not, well you won’t be upset that you missed it and it always helps to have something else to look forward to instead of rehashing all the “could have beens.” It can be a challenge to save money while having or planning for treatment. We put money (it may not be much, in fact sometimes it’s almost nothing) into a vacation fund. We take smaller vacations. Sometimes it’s just a night or a weekend away, but it brings us closer, gives us something positive to look forward to, keeps me sane, and gives me the energy to keep on trying.
Been there done that. I’m so tired of putting life on hold. And holding off on vacas. So this past vacation we planned and I wasn’t preg (no surprise), and I’m so glad we got away. It wasn’t anything extravagant, but we both really needed to reconnect. Of course I always hope “it” will happen on vacation…but still getting BFN. Even on vacation it is still on my mind…..but vacation is so important… Unless in the middle of IVF….lol
We keep taking, “the last hoorah vacation” you know cuz we wont be able to go anywhere next month when we are pregnant.
This sounds familiar. I don’t want to book a vacation for these reasons. But when it comes closer to that date ether: 1. my silly PCOS screws up my cycle dates and I’m not in-cycle then anyways, and 2. I’m not PG anyways. And the one last hoorah… Last year someone told me for our anniversary trip we need to go to Vegas while we still can, you know get it all out before we become parents. Well it’s another year and my anniversary is a week away, and I’m also not any closer to being a parent or Vegas. Odd that.
Bahahahahaha! So bloody true! This time around, I’m worried about DH’s business trip messing with our FET :/
that’s very true and sad.. been putting off things, planning our lives around non existing pregnancy almost 7 years now.