Feb 20

Somedays, it feels like everyone is pregnant or has a baby but you. You’ve put in your time, injected yourself with countless fertility drugs so why are you still waiting?

Why does everyone have a baby but you?

Not True! Not everyone has a baby. Here are a list of people/animals who do not have a baby either….

1. Your neighbor’s dog doesn’t have a baby. On the outside, it seems like Honeysuckle Flufferson has it all. She has a good home, a loving owner and is the envy of all the other pups. Inside, she is hurting. All the other dogs in the neighborhood have puppies and even Miss Wagstail has a doggie biscuit in the oven. She wishes her owner would take her to the Fertility Veterinarian Clinic.

2. Jennifer Aniston doesn’t have a baby. Us Weekly claims that she’s pregnant. Star Magazine reports that she’s having twins. National Enquirer says Jen’s adopting. But so far, the Aniston’s belly is still flat.

3. Suri Cruise doesn’t have a baby. The Tom Cruise offspring may only be five years old but her only baby is a doll that cost $10,000.

4. Your cousin, Kellie, doesn’t have a baby. She’s getting married next month and you’re pretty sure, she’ll get pregnant on her wedding night but as of today, she doesn’t have a baby. That still counts.

5. Your fertility doctor doesn’t have a baby. Well, she might have a baby but at least she doesn’t tell you about it. And if she was pregnant, you would get her fired.

6. The girls on The Bachelor don’t have a baby. There are 25 baby-less women competing for heart. They want babies but they don’t have any yet. Plus, Ben and his fiancé will probably break-up before they procreate anyways.

7. Your grouchy Great Aunt Gertie doesn’t have a baby. She never married or had children. She grouchy, mean and old and last week she asked you ‘when are you having children already?’

8. Your acquaintance on Facebook doesn’t have a baby. You barely know this woman but according to her status updates, she never wants children either. You already like her and know that she’ll never post ultrasound photos.

9. The Octomom doesn’t have another baby. She may have 14 children but at least she isn’t pregnant again. Right, Dr Phil?

10. Your bowl of chocolate ice cream doesn’t have a baby. And that’s why you love it so much.

See. many people and mammals don’t have babies either! Yet…

29 Responses to “#631 Everyone has a Baby but you”

  1. jdfan14 says:

    OMG so funny–3,7,&10 are awesome!

  2. the misfit says:

    YES THEY DO AND I HATE THEM. Wait. Did I say that? Internal monologue? Hello?

  3. Sinan Ozyol Poops Himself says:

    Well, everyone who wants to have a baby already has one. Except me.

  4. 8 years and counting says:

    @ Sinan: not me! there still some of us waiting, but no one I know personally.

  5. Always an aunt never a mother says:

    Five anouncements this week and 2 deliveries, including one on valentine’s day… well don’t u just have a lovely golden horshoe shoved up your….

  6. Alexandra's mum says:

    LOL…love the one about Suri! But it does make me wonder if Katie Holmes is having fertility issues or if she is a “one and done” kind of girl?

    I do have a baby (ok, a two year old) so I feel slightly funny commenting on this…but I HAD to because this is how I am feeling right now about everyone around me. They are either pregnant or onto their second or third (and they had their first at the same time I did, which makes it sting). Meanwhile, I have been stimming for 17 days. Yes, that’s right 17 days! It’s been a crappy cycle…almost cancelled, but now might have to convert from IUI to IVF. Not opposed to that, but what a roller coaster!

    I even had someone tell me “You need to really get started on your second…my sister and I were four years apart and that was WAY too big of a difference”.

    Thanks for the pressure. Now I not only have to worry about not having a baby, but have to worry about them being too far apart in age.

    And I now know that I will never inquire as to someone’s kid status or marriage/engagement status….

  7. Mrs. S says:

    I absolutely agree. EVERYONE seems to be pregnant. My sister just announced she’s pregnant with her 6th. 6TH!!! I don’t even get one. Everytime I go on facebook- whoop! There’s another announcement or belly shot. Soooo today I deleted my account. Thank you pregnant ladies for ruining it for me. Since it’s been one announcement after another lately, everytime I go out to a party or gathering, I tend to only conversate with women drinking alcohol. I know they’re not going to give me some unexpected news to make me hide in the bathroom and cry! And tv shows, too! It’s hard to turn on the tv and not find babies and pregnant women or worse yet, teen pregnant women.

  8. Mrs. S says:

    And p.s.- Do you know how difficult it is to listen to your sister cry about how she doesn’t even want the baby she’s pregnant with? (even though they had said they wanted another one) “Oh, I just now realized how much 6 is… it’s too much!” Um, yeah! With all six, she has NEVER had to try longer than a month- seriously! Of COURSE she would get pregnant what did she expect??!!?? Then, (and she knows about our 4 years of trying), she goes on to say, “oh, I wish I could just give it to you!!!” I don’t want your baby- I want me and my husband’s baby you fertile freak of nature!! The sick thing is- for a second I wished it could happen like that!

  9. M says:

    This is just what I needed today. Sis in law is expecting. Good friend is. AAAAhhhhhh. But at least our crazy neighbor’s dog is without child or pup. #5 is my fave. My doc has four kids and one day while handing me some medication she said, “Thank god I never had to take that.” Who says that? I would push for her resignation!!

  10. says:

    Sharing my own experience on tryingababy.blogspot.com. Trying to conceive at age 40.

  11. says:

    Thanks so much! You made me laugh about my infertility, and I thought it was impossible. You rock! :)

  12. yosi says:

    my baby brother and his girlfriend just have twins (boy & girl) 6 months ago and his girfriend is o ready pregnant again, is that something,, where is my baby ;(

  13. Sinan Ozyol Poops Himself says:

    @ Mrs. S, your sister sounds terrible! I thought I had it bad, with 3 coworkers in neighboring cubicles in different stages of pregnancy & talking about their states constantly. Geesh–I’m always tempted to call in sick to avoid them.

  14. hmmm says:

    My bunnies don’t have babies, but that’s because they are socially infertile. But my lemon tree has babies. So inconsiderate.

  15. Jax says:

    My SIL has 3 and the other has 2. Everyone I know who is married has at least 1 going on 2 or just married and TTC. Of course they’ll all complete their families by the time I get my one child. I used to want one but if I have to go thru this hell again, I’m going to take what I can get and don’t look back.

  16. jmt says:

    I have to say, those of you hating on pregnant women seem a little callous to me. Of course infertility is a terrible, terrible trial, but other people aren’t getting pregnant and having kids to hurt you. I’m sure they WANT you to have kids and they probably feel bad having luck where you haven’t. You shouldn’t hate them, or delete your facebook account. It isn’t their fault, and they deserve friends and family who are happy for them and their joy, even while you deserve friends and family who are supportive and understanding of how hard infertility is for you.

  17. 8 years and counting says:

    @jmt: what are you even doing on a infertility site??? This is a place for us to be honest about our feelings. If an infertile person went on to a pregnancy site and started b$tching about pregnant women that would be callous, doing it here is just venting.

  18. Sinan Ozyol Poops Himself says:

    @jmt: you do have to admit though–as a general rule–deleting one’s facebook account leads to more happiness than keeping it.

  19. Mrs. S (Molly) says:

    @Sinan Ozyol Poops Himself- thanks for the support!
    @JMT- There aren’t many places for women (or men) like us to let out our feelings about infertility, and this is one of those great places. I was having a particularly hard day that day. It was around the time my miscarried baby was due. That weekend I had to throw a baby shower for my sister in law- who was a month behind me. I’m not a bi-otch to pregnant women in person. After my sister cried to me about being pregnant, I hugged her and took her maternity clothes shopping to cheer her up, and I did throw one helluva baby shower for my sil. Imagine how hard that was. As for facebook- when you’re suffering from infertility and/or m/c, think about how hard it is to see those announcements, ultrasound pics, and other pregnancy posts. I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I am happy for all those pregnant women, and truly wish them the best, but when I see all of that, I’m reminded of what I don’t have. Of course I know they’re not doing it to spite me and I’m know they’re rooting for me to have my time too, but until that happens, its hard to be happy 100% of the time. I’m 25 and have been trying for 4 years. Some days, I feel so low. When I vent here, it’s likely someone has felt the same feelings I have. It’s perfectly normal for all of us to have these feelings. I go here to blow off some steam and get a little encouragement to make it through the day. It sounds like you don’t know what it feels like to be an infertile- how sometimes you feel depressed, angry and sad- throw in the hormones from fertility medications and you get one crazy infertile! I’m sorry if I’ve offended you or anyone else. I don’t hate pregnant women, I hate infertility and how it makes me sometimes.

  20. Just discovered this blog yesterday and it has made me chuckle!! I think the humour is brilliant and sometimes so necessary for women like us who constantly feel like we are a “failure” as a woman for not producing a child at the drop of a hat.
    I was born with MRKH which means I was born with no uterus and will never, ever bear a child. I have great ovaries though so it’s gestational surrogacy for me I hope one day! I can’t wait to have the chance to pump myself full of fertility drugs!
    This blog has given me a much needed perk as literally everyone I talk to at the moment is or tells me about someone else I know who is pregnant!
    Much mutually-infertile love and good luck to you all :)

  21. nbolin says:

    It just makes it so much better that ther is a damn advertisement for Maternity wear as soon as your done reading…..I don’t think they realize this is for INFERTILITY, and no one in here will be able to buy those clothes, and it’s rubbing it in my face ;(

  22. AmazonQueen says:

    My chocolate cake! LOL. I love this site. It makes me laugh especially on the days when I feel down and hopeless. It really does feel like everyone is pregnant or can blink and be pregnant without even trying. I watch people I referred after my IUI cycles failed get pregnant from the same clinic with their first round. I feel like no one can help me sometimes. I also work around pregnant teens and coworkers who go on about their kids. I just cling to my hubby’s positive words of hope most days. Loving care couple and we are still waiting. Younger siblings and cousins who weren’t trying to have babies get pregnant. Thank God for this site.

  23. Thank god I never had to take that.” Who says that? I would push for her resignation!!Much mutually-infertile love and good luck to you all

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  25. NotKathy says:

    Yes, everyone has a baby but me… including all of my hubby’s exes. I know it’s bad, but I can’t help but think, he could have had kids by now if he’d married one of them. One of them had her baby so soon, she must have gotten pregnant on her honeymoon. (I always knew I hated her). But he ended up with broken little me… sucks to think about sometimes.

    Oh, and jmt… we know, deep down, that our hatred of pregnant women is irrational. That’s why we post about it here instead of telling them to their face. This is the kinder option. So please leave us to our bitter envy and raging hormones.

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