As if FertileBook Facebook is not bad enough.
The social networking site announced this week that they now have an “I’m expecting” option. In the Family section, users now have the option to announce their due date, the baby’s sex and name. So instead of just seeing your friend’s ultrasound and belly shots, they can now click the “I’m expecting” button (which automatically makes an infertile cry).
Mark Zuckerberg – live in the real world! Here are some other fertility related buttons you should add:
1) “I just got my period and I’m crying on the toilet” button
2) “My transvaginal wand appointment really sucked this morning” button
3) “We’re having timed intercourse tonight so don’t call us” button
4) “My embryo retrieval was a lot of fun” button
5) “I’m not pregnant yet so stop asking” button
6) “I don’t want your fertility advice” button
7) I just stuck a fertility needle in my ass” button
8 ) “I got drunk after my D&C appointment” button
9) “I’m not expecting but can I steal your baby?” button
10) “I pretend I’m not jealous of pregnant women but I really am” button
11) My basal temperature just decreased and I want to shoot myself” button
12) “I cried at a baby shower” button
13) “I am missing a fallopian tube” button
14) “I check the toilet paper 400 times a day” button
15) “Is it a pregnancy symptom if my right breast feels more swollen than my left” button
16) “I have fertility drugs in my fridge, right next to last night’s lasagna” button
17) ” I glared at a pregnant woman’s belly this morning” button
18) “I elevate my legs for 30 minutes, following intercourse” button
19) “I cried in a McDonald’s bathroom when I found out my cousin was pregnant” button
20) “Can I have your baby?” button
Clearly, Mark Zuckerberg is not an infertile. DISLIKE!
(Did you win our Ovulation contest? )
For me the worst is the Baby Gaga app, it’s awful! I don’t care how pregnant you are each week and how non pregnant I still am… Maybe it’s my infertile brain, but it almost seems like some women use it just to brag. Facebook is just giving them more options to rub our faces in it. Yet another reason for me to deactivate my account!
Seriously?? Every day I get more and more reasons to add to the list of why I don’t use fb.
Another reason to hide that person…hopefully they update that status before posting the u/s pic. Just once I would like to post the u/s of my swollen ovary…it can look similar as 8 week u/s! A blob to the rest of the world….hope to me.
(my apologies in advance…since I know I may get some verbal stones thrown my way for saying what I want to say)
I get as mopey and weepy as the next infertile when I see the new batch of pregnancy announcements and updates of my fertile friends on FB, but… people ARE actually allowed to be happy about their pregnancies and share the news via a popular social network. Just because some of us can’t get pregnant doesn’t mean that other people aren’t allowed to be happy when they are expecting and want to share the news.
I know infertility hurts, but don’t let it make you bitter toward your fertile friends. I know the last thing I want to be is “the bitter infertile”.
This is awesome! And to think FB wasn’t annoying enough already.
@Kira, I see your point. However, we all know that familiar feeling of walking a tightrope that comes along with IF–sometimes you’re sad, sometimes you’re OK. I don’t want to be bitter either and I am genuinely happy for friends and family who can have children. With that being said, it hurts when it feels like it’s being shoved in your face or it’s all someone can talk about on your News Feed. Like I said, it’s a delicate balance.
@Kira- I agree…but every time I read a pregnancy update/announcement or whatever it stabs my heart. And here’s the real kicker, I’m 21weeks pregnant after IVF. I chose not to announce my pregnancy or post any pics on FB to protect my known and unknown IF FB friends.
But at least a little button is better than the u/s pics we usually get. And to Lindsay, I agree the baby gaga app is ridiculous, not to mention the scary animation pics they have of babies….
But I really like the options posted to substitute for the “I’m expecting” button! I would most likely have used all of them….
Kira I am with you 100% it hurts me as well but I will not begrudge someone their happiness just because it is not me. I have no tubes left and this sucks but this is my issue and not their problem. Bravo!!
I agree with Kira. I’m sorry if other people don’t like it, but when we eventually do get pregnant, we will savor every moment. I can’t hold others responsible for what I find upsetting…
I’ve already deactivated my FB account so thank goodness I was not subjected to this. Good for Zuckerberg though…he’s been exposing how narcissistic, shallow, and self-absorbed my friends truly are (in general–not related to pregnancy). Thanks for oversharing!
@Becky–I think you should put up a photo of your ovary. Back when I was using Facebook, I couldn’t understand why people only posted good news or whiny complaints. How about the REAL stuff?
LOVE IT!! But it’s so true that when I get pregnant, I’ll be the first one to click it! I’m so excited for everyone else and their twelve babies, so you’d better bet I will want everyone to be excited for me when it’s FINALLY my turn!!
Kira I think it is not being truly ‘bitter’ this site is just for laughs—-take it as you will. A place we can all escape to, to be able to laugh at our situation and kind of get away from the disappointments of infertility. I agree with what you say but really this is all in fun.
oh my #5, #16, #17 are my situation, espeically #5—if I am asked more more time if I am pregnant yet, I will scream. I definatly need that that button!
This is so true. My big issue with facebook is that everyone posts all their happy and excited pregnancy news, which is great, but when I post about my IF or treatment options or whats going on in my life everyone attacks it and says they don’t want to hear it and that I just need to “relax” and “get over it”. I would like buttons #5, 6, 10 and 18.
Jessica, I think you are out of line, because you have no idea what its like to want a child and you arent able to have one. we are just trying to stand together and vent our frustrations and hopefully get a laugh out of something that is so painful.
I think jessica has no idea what we are going through to say these things. We arent hating pregnant people we are simply standing together for support and hopefully laugh at something that is so painful. if you havent gone through it you dont know the pain and depression that goes with it. And yes we are jealous but there is nothing wrong with that.
OK, this made me laugh so hard I thought I might cry. I spent 5 years TTC and had NO IDEA there were so many people out there who knew 100% of how I was feeling!
First – I have no idea why Jessica is on this blog – weird…
Third – so glad to think that maybe just maybe I can see a glimmer of the funny side of things and that makes a big difference.
Forth – @kira – no one is bitter – they are just feeling very very sad and that is understandable don’t you think – give us all a break.
“I have fertility drugs in my fridge, right next to last night’s lasagna” button – funny! If only we could advertise that ha ha – too funny.
Anyone got Mark Zuckerberg’s email? We should suggest to him these fertility related buttons, yes?
Oh Jessica, your life is so pathetic that you don’t even know your husband doesn’t want children…and easy for you to say all these things…look who’s got a baby there? You! And wait till you are diagnosed with secondary infertility…you will be very thankful that this website even exists!
I actually deleted my facebook account because I’m sick of all the pregnancy updates and babyshower pictures.. I’m not activating it again until I’m 15 weeks pregnant. It’s sad, but it made my life a little easier.
I have my fertility drugs in the fridge next to the rotisserie chicken – I love it! Jessica – I’m sure pregnancy sucks, but so does infertility, and we would all gladly trade one crappy situation for another. Hell, I’d inject follistim into my eyeball if my RE told me to.
Jessica…whaaa?? Who let this witch with a B in here???? You obviously are VERY immature. Anyone who says “da baby” seems to have a lot of growing up to do. Did you get married when you were 12?? Seriously, you really have no business posting here.
Naomi…HILARIOUS buttons!!! I think I love the facebook posts the best. LOL
What about a “I have 600 FB friends but have blocked at least 50 of you because I don’t need your Ultra-sounds all up in my face” button?
Also, Jessica: Why would you come to an infertility website to spew hatred? I’m so confused. May you NEVER know what it’s like to be infertile. Sorry your husband left you, but that has NOTHING to do with us. Thank you.
@Kira – maybe we add a button that says “bitter infertile”
I love this site Naomi.
# 20 is the best. It´s one of the things I think when friends and coworkers complain about their kids. Give them to me, I´ll love them with all of my heart even tough they get tantrums every time we´re in public.
It´s so good to be amongst fellow IF, and see that I´m not alone with weird things on my mind
And for you Jessica, I know that pregnancy isn´t a blast for everyone. Believe me I know naucia, pelvic pain, headache and fatigue, but the blessing to have a little miracle in my arms I can only dream about at this point. I´ve been trough hell and back with IVF treatments and two failed pregnancies (one of them faild in week 20) and all I have is my angels who I never got to se grow up. Embrace the fact that you are one of the lucky ones who don´t have to endure the pain of infertility or miscarrige.
Scandinavian endo girl, angelmom
Kira – I see your point. I recall crying and telling my MIL a few years ago right after my husband was diagnosed with cancer and was going through chemo and we found out he had a fertility issue that….I don’t want to be “one of those people.” What I meant by that is….I don’t want to be bitter and angry – even after going through IVF and two FETs and being told that now I have a issue as well, a “high number of low quality eggs.” I am 27 years old and celebrated 8 years with the best husband in the world yesterday.
But the truth is that I am bitter and angry at times. It is certainly not abnormal – even my mom feels it sometimes because of the situation. My husband definitely feels it. He feels that the IF is harder than cancer and chemo. Now, imagine that?!?!
I am starting to wonder if it will happen for us. That thought scares me.
Jessica is not even worth addressing. Though, she did actually make me feel better — I’m glad I am not like her.
Jessica – no one is hating on pregnant women. They were hating on the expecting button and constant ultrasound pictures. There is a big difference. You said, “pregnancy is great and amazing but its also very hard and difficult.” Well infertility is hard and difficult, and never great and amazing. Infertile women may not be miserable, but they are in a constant cycle of hope and grief. It would be as if your ex was coming back, but left you at the last minute every single month. You may mention that pregnant women are so physically uncomfortable that they have to brag on facebook as a form of denial. Infertile women do not have a denial outlet. We have to deal with it every month. Blogs like these are our outlet. If we could deny, we would, gladly. I think we can all agree that there are times in which we feel happy, but in great pain. An infertile woman knows that, too. We are happy for those around us who get to form families and be a mother, but in great pain while we wait our turn. in that you and I have common ground. You mentioned that pregnant women can induce labor b/c you “cant wait for it to be over.” Well, infertile women can’t wait for it to be over, too, only we can’t induce our way out of it in 38 weeks. For most of us, it’s a process of discomfort that takes years, not weeks, to deal with it. Believe me, we infertile women are afraid of labor, too, but we are more afraid of never getting to experience it. Thankfully, that is a fear you do not have to face, but we face it every single day. While labor may “suck,” living every day with the thought in the back of your mind that you may never know the joys of your baby’s first smile “sucks” more. You may “GO THROUGH HELL AND BACK,” but so do we. I am truly sorry that your husband left you. Thankfully, that is a pain I have not experienced as I have married a great man who would really like to be a father and is extremely supportive of me. I walk this path with my life partner and best friend. I would never want anyone to have less than that in any circumstance. Yes, I am jealous that you have a baby, but I am not jealous of your circumstances. I hope that you find peace with yourself, as many of us have.
I feel like I need to address this. I am currently pregnant after a long journey. Yes, I feel sick, I am always tired (but can’t always sleep), I have acne, I have to give myself shots due to a clotting disorder, and I am terrified of birth. However, I embrace every one of these symptoms because it means I will have a baby. This does not even compare to infertility when you aren’t sure if you will ever have a family, you are sick bc of treatments, etc. without the awesome gift after just 9 months. I will NEVER complain about my pregnancy symptoms, infertility is much more difficult. Jessica, you have no business even commenting, perhaps you should not reproduce despite having the capability so many on here long for. Good luck ladies, one day people will be more understanding ( I hope)
I think one more thing is happening that most of us (including me as an infertile couple) are forgetting, there are stories out there of people who are infertile b/c of cancer, either on the female or male side. Our infertility is due to PCOS and male factor and while that is very hard & difficult to deal with, I could not imagine dealing w/infertility b/c of a cancer issue, as someones story is stated above, I say bless you and couples in your situation for your strength and courage not only to beat cancer but then deal with infertility as well. I dont mean to call these people out but I stand up for those people who have so much courage and say bless you!!
PipSqueak, that was perfectly written. You’ve addressed everything she said and addressed it very well too.
I think Jessica just wandered in her to get everyone riled up. Some might call her a troll.
these were so funny and so true. i wish you could make your own profile buttons on FB.
This post is so funny…so true!
I love your writing style – you are so clever. LIKE!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! This is, perhaps, one of my favorite posts of all time!!!! Love number 16…the meds next to the lasagna-cracked me up!
In regard to the fb debate above, I agree that people have a right to be happy about their pregnancy and to want to discuss it on FB. I did the same thing when I was pregnant (heck, I worked hard enough for that pregnancy). That’s why sites such as this are so important. It gives us a place to b*tch about the unfairness of life because we don’t always have that option elsewhere…
Anyway, good job Naomi. Love love loved this post!!!!
I can’t lie and say that I don’t feel a little pang of jelousy when I see a “so-and-so is 23, 26, 33 weeks pregnant”etc.., on FB. But I also feel a similar pang over birth announcements or when someone announces a first birthday, when I KNOW that I was trying to get pregnant for YEARS before some of these people. But thats just life and I think its a normal feeling. For a while I thought it was abnormal until I reached out to other people struggling with infertility and found that wow, I’m NOT the only one that feels this way…
On another note, I LOVE the list! LOVE IT! I think almost all of them apply to me and a few made me laugh out loud, especially #8, “I got drunk after my d&c”…I guess you gotta see the humor in it so you dont go crazy! (And I guess im not the only one in the world that went straight for a bottle of wine on that horrible day) thank you for making me smile!
Love the list. Seriously considering closing my Facebook account now
I am pregnant and have posted nothing on FB because I would never torture my infertile friend like that. I love the list and would like to add the “missing my bf’s baby shower because I am miscarrying” button. Because that was AWESOME.
I think Jessica is fake. But amusing. LOL. She reminds me of the people of WalMart website.
I have a son and was told by someone that I was the most pleasant and happy pregnant woman they had ever met. Because while I had a lot go wrong, I was too happy to complain. And now that we have a chance for a second child, I am the same. I will say though, while in the IF trenches I DID totally hate pregnant women.
Honestly, they have every right tio be excited and happy about a healthy pregnancy and want to show pics. It breaks my heart and hurts me so bad, but I can’t fairly begrudge them that. But what gets me the most is this one “friend” (we used to be friends in RL, but if I saw him now I wouldnt go out of my way to say hi) he posted ultrasound pics of his gf’s twins and has the audacity to beg and plead us to pray that they arent girls!
Im not going to say anything directly, but on Oct 15 im gonna post a status abt it being Infertility and Miscarriage Day and hope he gets it.
I’ve read through a number of the articles in your website , and I love the way you blog. I included it to my favorites blog site list and will also be checking quickly.
arthritis advice
I got drunk after my D&C too! Great website, thanks for sharing!
Luo Ji was surprised to see jordan retro 11.
but every time I read a pregnancy update/announcement or whatever it stabs my heart. And here’s the real kicker, I’m 21weeks pregnant after IVF.
That comment from Jessica is an ignorant one ladies. Don’t bother yourselves with her ignorant drivel. Why is a pregnant woman on this thread anyways? The be all end all is yes she may be frightened about labour or morning Sickness but wouldn’t you give your right arm for that bliss? I should know! After getting married I never knew this would be a trial for me! 6 months after wedded bliss at 22 we started trying. Yes we were young but both of us were ready, we’d dated since 16 and waited 6 years to tie the knot, not because we wanted to but out of respect for our sceptic families. So here we are at 29 going on 30, still childless with a miscarriage under our belt and scared shitless. No Jessica not of labour, or morning sickness but of the fact that we may not ever have a future. Our future could be childless. And yes we are thankful that we have each other but even that has been a hard road. You wouldn’t even know Jessica. You have no fucking idea Jessica. What I wouldn’t give to have the assurance of children, that my husband and I could share a christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, New Years, Easter with hope. We don’t have the impending child to look forward to like you. We cry at each of these times and many more regular days, if only we had morning sickness or labour to be frightened of. Our scare is if a future without a child to spoil at birthdays or christmas, to cry at each Mother’s Day and Father’s Day with nothing to remember but a many years wished for choked who died within my womb. Fuck you Jessica and stick to your preggo forums you bloody bloody idiot.
Amen!