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Nov 15

At one point or another you have googled these questions – After sex, how long will his sperm live inside my body? How long will sperm last in the female body? As an infertile, you have asked “Doctor” Google this question for the following reasons:

  1. You had baby-making sex on Tuesday but you didn’t ovulate until Thursday.
  2. You had baby-making sex on Saturday and then his parents dropped by for a surprise visit on Sunday and during ovulation Monday. And you didn’t get a chance to do it again.
  3. He had an f!#!king business trip during your peak ovulation time and you wanted to make sure you ‘did it’ the day before he left or the second he arrived home.

In the privacy of your own home, you have googled this question. But according to Google, so has millions of other crazy infertiles as well. And Google doesn’t always give you just one answer. He will tell you a variety of answers but you will just keep searching until you find an answer you like.

Google: Thanks for your question, Infertile Betsy-Sue. Yes, there is a chance you could still get pregnant if your husband left on Monday and you ovulated on Friday. One of the sperms actually emailed me on Thursday to grab a beer.

As an infertile, you ask Google just about everything. Most answers terrify you and google never seems to tell you the answers you need to hear. “Google, am I pregnant?” “Google, my right breast seems larger than my left. Am I pregnant?” “Google. I had cramping after watching an episode of Dexter. Did my IUI work?” “Google, what’s the best way to fake a smile after cousin Martha tells me she accidentally got pregnant?”

A better question really is – Google, how can I stop asking you all my infertile questions? Easy answer. Log off and go enjoy your day.

12 Responses to “#701 Another Question for Dr Google”

  1. Kaley says:

    I am afraid I have googled this one in the past and google never tells me what I want to hear so I continue searching, hoping I will find a site tell me I am definitely 100% pregnant, no need to even take a test. Right now I am in my 2WW after IVF and am trying with all my might not to google for symptoms, I am pretty confident I could memorize them all now anyway

  2. tillie says:

    seriously Dr Google is the devil.

  3. says:

    Totally attempting to be frugal with my Google.

  4. Bobbi says:

    I think this blog is cute, Dr. Google is my best friend, the one I turn to when I can’t get my RE over the phone, when I’ve asked my hubby enough do you think…questions, and when I just need a little comfort.

    On the plus note I just started grad school, and I find stressing out about something non-fertility related (i.e. papers and quizzes) really took my mind off my infertility issues. Its not a solid hard rock plan but its given me back some of my sanity. You should try it girls.

    BTW my classmate who is 37, told me today she got pregnant after you guessed it! only two weeks of trying…omg! I’m 25 and I’ve been trying for a year. WTF! Just gotta laugh ladies

  5. Oyama says:

    How do you think I found this site? Dr. Google suggested it.

  6. says:

    LOL for Doctor Google!

    (….does anyone Ask Jeeves? :P)

  7. Hannah says:

    Dr. Google and I have a love/hate relationship. I love him when he tells me month after month that I am pregnant. But I hate him when AF shows up and reminds me what a lying bastard he is. :(

  8. says:

    I just googled “increased CM after ovulation pregnancy symptom”, although I have no idea when and if I ovulated, and my hubby left for a business trip way at least 5 days before the possible Ov day (but google says the sperm can live upto….).

    The best part is, google’s auto suggestion proves that I am not the only obsessed IF around. Everything from “increased thirst” to “AF cramps” to “dry skin” as pregnancy symptoms has already been googled a million times!

  9. Michele says:

    Today is my IUI – Dr Google will probably be on tap later this weekend, just like he has been during my 2ww the past 2 months.
    I am going to have to agree with Hannah!

  10. Sammie says:

    LMAO! Google helped me find this website and OMG! I have never laughed so hard in all my life, especially at my own expense and problem. THANK YOU!!!! I keep crying about my problem, but the tears won’t help me get fertile, maybe the laughter will :)

  11. Brownie Choc says:

    Naomi would have been proud of me! I just googled….index finger pain symptoms of pregnancy!

  12. admin says:

    Brownie- very proud of you! I think it must be a preg symptom for sure