Infertility, Infertility, Infertility! Am I making you uncomfortable, Aunt Martha or how about you, Nana? Well, I should be because infertility is the most happening taboo subject of the year!
No one talks about it, everyone feels alone with it, yet infertility is a very common problem that no one likes to discuss. It’s okay to talk openly about your latest root canal at the dentist and eye doctors appointment but fertility appointment, not so much. And it’s perfectly acceptable for your dad to go into unnecessary detail about his latest Colonoscopy (aka- a bum procedure), describing in detail how he cleaned out his bowels before his butt appointment. But you would hardly tell him that you’re off to the fertility clinic for your morning transvaginal wand appointment and vampire sucking blood work. “I’ll be late for lunch dad, I have an appointment at the fertility clinic and then I’m off to the dentist!” And it’s even socially acceptable to go into detail about your other medical appointments explaining the reason you made the appointment in the first place. “Just removing a wart today at the doctors, getting my neck gear tightened at the dentist office and or even getting my yearly Pap Smear done today!” It’s perfectly acceptable for women to talk about getting a mammogram but fertility appointment, yup. still off topic. And God forbid, you could make someone squirm by going into details about your fertility appointment. “I went to my clinic appointment today and they washed hubby’s semen and then inserted it into my uterus.”
Mentioning even the word “fertility doctor,” “IUI” or “IVF,” makes people feel uncomfortable. It’s like no one wants to hear about and are comfortable at even the very mention. It’s no wonder every woman feels extremely alone during the infertility process because no one talks about openly and you end up feeling like you are the only person going through this. The good news is you are not alone and you can talk about it, if you decide because it will make you feel better. Once you start talking about it, you often find out more couple’s are going through a similar situation.
Infertility does not have to be a taboo topic.
Check out my new column “” over at Fertility Authority.com! My first column: A movie review for JLow Inseminates.
Personally, I go out of my way to make the occasional person feel uncomfortable. Bugger it, I’ve just educated your child all day and now you’re asking me how I am? Well lady, you’re in for a shock or two…
Ha ha! I do the same as Rebecca. I have no problem telling anyone what I’m going through. I’ve dealt with this stuff too long to hold it in now.
I’ve been stalking your blog for a few weeks and I am so glad that I have! You have made me laugh like no other. I completely agree with this post-100%. I’ll admit that I struggle with this every day. I have told my close friends and a few family members what’s going on. I hope one day to be as open as some other responders are able to be.
R- I love stalkers! (**Disclaimer, blog stalkers, that is). Glad that you decided to comment! Thanks for reading everyone during your infertility insanity journey.
We haven’t been openly discussing infertility with anyone but the people we “think” need to know. And even with those people, we only give them so much detail. This week I have been posting endlessly on Twitter and Facebook and I am making people feel uncomfortable on purpose. It may sound bad, but its liberating!
Great post- so flippin’ true.
Amanda, lol, me too! I just know I’m making so many people uncomfortable on FB but I honestly don’t care. I’m sick and tired of keeping it to myself!
So true!!! Have seen others (friends, even) get really uncomfortable. But this is my situation, so what the heck!!!!
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Woop woop! Your awesomeness is spreading, and I can’t say I’m surprised. I’ll be mosying on over to Fertility Authority to read you right now!
Its a taboo subject but the real reason I dont bring it up is bec. I dont want people to look at me with that pity look. I have told 5 people that we have been TTC for 3 years and they all do it.
love your blog! this is also one of the first times I’m commenting (just entered your contest as my first official comment!) but I too struggle with telling people. even our close family doesn’t ask or want to talk about it and as soon as you bring something up it’s so uncomfortable. I felt like a failure for so long that I didn’t want anyone to know but know after 4 years I’m beginning to bring it up more to others and trying to break that barrier – I feel like the only way to possibly change it for others is to try not to make it taboo. It’s like people are ok saying “i have cancer” but not that they are infertile… keep your blog going – it keeps me at least partly sane!!
Love your comments ladies (and men)…
Lindsay- thanks for commenting. Infertility is difficult to talk about openly but it doesn’t have to be. We have nothing to be ashamed about. If more women talk about it, the less taboo it becomes!
I recently put a FB post about this being National Infertility Awareness Week. I’ve always been embarrassed about it, but I realize that this is just something that happened to me. I had no control over it. It does feel good to not hold it in anymore. I am an infertile woman and I will be a mom someday!
SO true. I’m so sick and TIRED of people acting like I’m a weirdo for asking for support. I support you for all your stupidness, and you can’t support me for something that causes me extreme heartache??!! GREAT post!!
lol..funny post….we have not told many people we will be doing IVF soon just a few (if we do tell more people) I plan on educating them b/c they dont know or undestand all the processes….my favorite is ‘well you will have 6 kids at once” me: “well no we can choose how many embroys to transfer in IVF to try to control multiples” I just think lack of info and it is a hush hush world…maybe we women can educate more!