Mar 18

The infertile is probably the only person in the world that can go into a bathroom and return in tears or leave doing a happy pee pee dance. 

To normal fertile people, the bathroom is a place where you do your business and leave neither happy nor sad. To an infertile, the toilet experience can either make you or break you. You may walk into that bathroom stall happy and singing and come out with swollen eyes and a runny nose. You either (a) got your period (leading to extreme unhappiness and an emotional breakdown OR a little happiness if you hadn’t seen your flow since 1999 and joyful she has returned; or (b) saw traces of blood a week prior to your period and feel semi-excited/confused that it might be implantation bleeding; or (c) you have wiped clear which brings a private grin to your face.

And never have a co-worker or friend wait for you at the sink. You may go into the stall as her perky pal Patty but you are leaving as hysterical and hyperventilating Helen. And who really wants to explain to a co-worker why you just left the toilet in tears? “Wow. That was really a big one. It really hurt to get out.” You might explain as you blow your nose with toilet paper. Because with one trip to the bathroom you can go from no drinking, all healthy food, and no coffee to a bottle of wine, french fries dipped in alcohol, and half a pot of Joe.


Suggested by HollyTraveling on ‘Suggest a Reason who sometimes brings a bottle of vodka into the stall with her, just in case.

16 Responses to “#788 A single trip to the toilet can make you happy or bring you to tears”

  1. says:

    This is so freakin true!!

  2. says:

    I remember when one trip to the bathroom caused me to go home, order in sushi, and I took a super hot bath, while drinking wine, a cup of coffee and ate sushi – all at the same time!

  3. Dawn from the frozen North says:

    Heck, a trip to the loo has ended with trips to emergency. How many guys have ever had that happen?

  4. says:

    It’s kind of like a scratch off lottery ticket. You could get great news or nothing at all. When using a public restroom at the grocery store, we should all buy a ticket on our way in so we’re upping our chances of a good outcome.

  5. Misty Dawn says:

    This is the ABSOLUTE TRUTH! I can’t even count how many times my co-workers were like, “hey what’s happened to you?”.

  6. says:

    HAHAHAHAHA! I am 5dp3dt and just went to the bathroom to examine the toilet paper, people must think I am crazy with that amount of trips and the amount of water I am drinking… HYSTERICAL!

  7. stacie says:

    This made me laugh out loud. So funny and so true.

  8. Reena says:

    I am so happy I found your blog today! What a great site! I hope you don’t mind but I added you to my blogroll on my blog!

  9. Jenn says:

    This always happens to me at work. The day starts fine and then AF shows up and I start crying. Thank God there has been construction in our building. I blame the red swollen eyes on paint fumes.

  10. Carolyn says:

    This is right up my alley today… I’m 12 dpo. If I make it to tomorrow, this’ll be my longest luteal phase since…. um…. a year ago? And 12 dpo is already 2 days longer than my average. Pregnancy would be awesome. A friggin normal cycle would be okay too. In the meantime, it’s frequent trips to the bathroom for me. So far, happy dances abound!

  11. harrietglynn says:

    Just love your site. We adopted recently and have become as obnoxious as all your facebook preggo friends – but I feel that we deserve it!

    When we told people we were planning to adopt, a significant percentage of people said, “But you’re still going to try right?” … ummm so what you are asking is “are we still going to have sex?” … lol


    “You’ll probably get pregnant.” … ummm “Nope. We won’t.”

  12. K says:

    I feel like I reached a new low today – am 7dpo and there was a blue fuzz (surely transferred from my jeans) when I looked but my first thought was “is that implantation bleeding?” – I mean come on it was BLUE FUZZ but that is the level of desperation

  13. Amanda says:

    I like it better when AF shows up on a weekend so that I can mope and cry and complain about my disappointment without having to hide it or explain it to a coworker.
    I have a male Muslim coworker who is always asking me “what’s wrong??” holy cow… what am I going to say to this guy? tell him that I ovulated 12 days ago and was hoping I timed BDing just right but then there was spotting on the TP this morning?

  14. oy vey….just went through this on friday….was 11dpiui and sadly the spotting started…held out hope it was implantation bleeding, but no, it wasnt’. had to go home and just hang out at home for three days until i felt ready to come back out from under my rock. but at least i can say that i have never mistaken blue fuzz from my jeans for implantation bleeding :-)

  15. Carolyn says:

    I love this website. Thanks for laugh.

    In case anyone cares, I made it 14 dpo for the first time ever. Then had a 2-day period. Ummm… what am I supposed to do with that? PT was neg on day 3 and 7, so at least I should celebrate 14 days and hope that I might be kind of sort of normal…?

  16. says:

    I’ve had the blue fuzz thing a couple of times too, anything out of the ordinary at all and I get hopeful.