Nov 09

You’ve tried a fertility-friendly diet.

At the beginning, you gave up caffeine, stopped drinking diet sodas, and stocked up on those recommended dark, leafy greens. How did that work out for you? It seems that other women can have a completely unhealthy diet and get pregnant easily, or worse get pregnant just “by accident.” It’s not fair. Then as time went on, your “fertility-friendly” diet became the “who cares I’m not getting pregnant anyways” diet.

Hello coffee! Good morning chocolate! Ola artificial sweeteners! No complete servings of fruits and vegetables for you! Maybe one glass of wine with dinner. Watch out during negative pregnancy test days! No Folic Acid for you! You know what? You are trying to do the best you can. You adapted the fertility-friendly diet and it didn’t work. So eat healthy, take your Folic Acid, have yummy treats when you want to and enjoy your life.

Those teenage pregnancies didn’t happen because the girl ate her dark leafy greens for dinner.

30 Responses to “#857 Screw you, fertility diet!”

  1. Eileen says:

    Just for this post I am ordering a Venti Chai Soy Latte in the morning. Oh yeah, and I'm dumping a Sweet and Low in it for good measure. And I am going to savor every freaking moment of that caffeine coma. Bring it on.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Exactly. I know each time AF shows up, I "forget" to take my folic acid and have TWO cups of coffee. That'll show 'em! What a mess this feels like sometimes. Your blog helps so much.

  3. Lu says:

    I didn't drink coffee or any other caffeine for three years and it made no difference whatsoever. And, then there was one day where a light bulb went off in my head that said "screw that"! Caffeinated and happy!

  4. tishi says:

    OMG, all so true……..I miss my coffee!!! maybe I should throw in the towel and have me a latte today ;)

  5. Anonymous says:

    It's exactly as you described it. Caffeine, chocolate, the occasional wine or alcoholic beverage, 2WW or not. I don't care anymore. You forgot to mention all the extra pills and herbs that supposedly help boost fertility. Hah! No more! You have to take your life back some time.

  6. Rebecca says:

    Yep. I gave it all up and it slowly has crept back in. I totally have gotten to the point of "who cares, I'm not getting pregnant, anyway!" Coffee has come back to my life and it makes the days bearable. It certainly wasn't helping…

  7. InfertileNaomi says:

    I'm drinking a coffee right now and it tastes great! We are still allowed to enjoy our lives.

  8. Trinity says:

    Cheers! I'm having a toasty cup of joe myself right now! Screw it, indeed! :)

  9. Anonymous says:

    This is so true!

    Each time I make a pot of coffee, and add Splenda to my cup AND have a chocolate bar chaser, I feel totally guilty!

    Our minor indulgences are NOT keeping us from getting pregnant, most likely we are facing bigger obstacles, so indulge, and guilt be gone!

  10. A says:

    Perfect! Couldn't have said it better myself!

  11. irrationalexuberance says:

    Does this mean that I should feel less guilty about eating a piece of pie for breakfast with my tea? Because I'd be happy to part with that guilt.

  12. Kate says:

    Love it! Have lived through this entirely. I'm enjoying a diet coke!

  13. Laura says:

    I love that show on TLC called "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant," because most of these women, since they don't even know they are preggo are skiing, playing volleyball, eating & drinking whatever they want – then the kids plops out just fine! I'm not advocating drinking alcohol when you're pregnant of course, but it seems like this is a bunch of hoo-ha. Thanks for the laugh.

  14. Anonymous says:

    The worst was when you asked for a non-caffienated beverage from someone, people give you the eyes and the "are you pregnant"???!!!!!??!?!?! No, I've just been trying to get pregnant for 3 years, and apparently no caffiene is supposed to help!!!!!

  15. Danielle says:

    Hilarious! I was just getting chastised for drinking cofee yesterday. I am sure my problem doesnt stem for caffeine intake!

  16. lynne b. [my life in blog] says:

    i find all these things funny. Some girl, along the way, got pregnant, and realized she hadn't had a coke in 4 days and coffee in 2. thus, no caffeine = fertility. its just silly. if it were proven, the RE that we spend $1,000s on yearly, would write a Rx for it. :)

  17. Another Dreamer says:

    Ha :)Very true, I've become quite fond of my "I'm not getting pregnant anyway" diet… oh, glorious glorious caffeine.

  18. Michele says:

    I've definitely gotten up close and personal with the two cups of morning coffee again. How I missed my wake-up drink.

  19. Jendometriosis says:

    I've said this so many times. How is depriving ourselves of things going to make us less stressed and happy? Who cares, anyway? If the crackwhore on the corner managed to get pregnant, I'm not going to cut our sugar and tea!

    Everything in moderation of course, but it's unrealistic to expect us to believe all this mumbo jumbo!

  20. Alison says:

    Hell ya sista!!

  21. Elissa says:

    absolutely true. why should I try to devour hummus, sprouts and wheat grass (feel like a cow chewing cud) when all the preggos around me are guzzling their diet coke and feasting on blueberry muffins? Pass the chocolate.

  22. Frenchie says:

    You said it! I did it for a year!! Finally I said screw it! I want to live my life!

  23. Candace says:

    Dip some chocolate into some alcohol!

  24. Anonymous says:

    I love this post. I gave up on the fertility diet after yet another failed IUI–boy, those sodas and chai lattes never tasted so good.

  25. Amanda says:

    lol!! i was about to post a similiar subject!! lol! i have cut out caffeine at first, then addicted to it yet again, now about to cut it out once more.

    but then a friend (not way close) gets pregnant by accident. and was toally trashed when she conceived. totally trashed! and she conceived!

    i don't drink anything but diet coke, i might cut the intake. but not completely? :)

  26. Annie says:

    For awhile I was completely obsessed with my diet and started blaming my chocolate intake for my infertility. But I agree, if the local meth addict who probably hasn't had a vegetable in two years can get pregnant, I don't think a few M&M's everyday is going to make one bit of difference!

  27. Anonymous says:

    here I was googling "diets for IVF" for my second IVF cycle and then I stumbled on your blog! The hell with all of it…. it's bad enough we have to go through this torture over and over and then expert tell us we should deny ourselves of chocolate and the usual cup of cofee… forget it! I am smiling and trust me this is a big thing for me these days!

  28. Marci says:

    Back in the dark ages, before I was diagnosed with infertilty, my CNM (who did all my gyn stuff, and ideally, someday, my obstetrics – she didn’t last that long, but I was forward thinking!) told me that since I wanted to get pregnant I should live my life as if I were pregnant. (And chart and do timed intercourse etc.) After a year or so of that, I decided, the hell with it; I’ll act pregnant when I am pregnant. Now give me back my Bourbon!

  29. Nixf01 says:

    Yeah! Also, if diet is so all-important then can anyone tell me why France, the land of wine, soft cheese and an espresso with just about every meal is apparently the most fertile country in Europe???

    Pass the Merlot!

  30. mommywannabe says:

    My screw you fertility diet plan:

    Wake up and don’t shove a cold thermometer in my mouth.
    Drive to Dunkin Donuts for a so-big-I-can-barely-hold-it ICED MOCHA.

    Lunch: a TUNA sandwich with Cheetos
    Snack: a DIET COKE with ummm….a hot dog
    Dinner: Hubbie will have a large Sunkist soda with Cheetos and a burger
    I will have Sushi.
    before bed, I will eat a bunch of chocolate
    then, I will bd WITHOUT laying on my back with my feet up for 30 min.

    Wow, I’m a rebel today.