The childless couple gets all the pity invitations. “It’s Jilly’s first birthday party on Saturday but I’ll understand if you don’t want to come.” When you do attend the birthday parties, you and your partner sit at the singles table, making awkward small chat with never-been-married Aunt Ruth and the one other potentially infertile couple. Seeing all those babies makes you further depressed and you leave the party, feeling like you’re never going to get pregnant. Happy F&^#! first birthday, Melody.
Sigh.
You find you either get the pity invitation or you don’t get invited to the party at all. The infertile couple doesn’t get invited to the Halloween party, the kids Christmas party or the mommy get together held every Thursday. You watch from the bleachers as all your mommy friends take their kids together to the circus, kiddie concerts and the zoo. You aren’t invited but you get to hear all about it afterwards and then you are forced to ‘enjoy’ all those Facebook pictures in an album called “Here are all the parties you weren’t invited to.”
It’s so thoughtful that you were invited to all the pre-baby parties including the baby shower (as a host and guest on several occasions) and the “I’m pregnant and you’re not” dinners. Maybe you can return the favor and invite the fertile to your latest IUI party, “My follicles are growing in a test tube” celebration or “I just paid $10,000 for a failed cycle, blowout.”
Kids are welcome. Please no gifts, only alcohol.
photo: here
So true!!! Haha!
My rule is that I will attend the first child's first b'day. After that, it's a gift grab and I don't go.
You had perfect timing for this one. I just went to a first birthday party on last friday.So may kids.Was it so easy to get pregnant.Or maybe all those women did nothing except getting laid.Yeah but its true.All those couples with children they were stading as a family feeding their kids.My DH was speding time with his single friends and I was sitting in one corner.Felt so sucky.
This post says it all!!I was laughing and nearly crying at the same time. Ha!
I began to laugh right when I saw the title. So true.
This is so right on….I actually felt like this when me and DH weren't invited to a friend's son's 1st birthday party…and I saw all the pics on facebook. We worked it out after, because I said something, but I was surprised by all the emotions it brought up in me.
This is so true. i have experienced this with some of my friends since I am the one without the kids and they all have kids. Kind sucks, but what you wrote is true.
I just found your blog. I die. This is exactly what I need right now. Thank you!!!1
I didn't think going to kids birthday parties would be hard, but I was wrong. I went to a 1 year old's party who is the daughter of our good friends, and I had to leave early because I couldn't hold back the tears. I thought there was just something wrong with me, so I am very glad to hear that others feel like that too. Now when we get the invites, I just try to make excuses. It's not worth the pain.
I am so ready to have my parties. I can't decide if I should have 3 separate "IUIs are a waste of money" parties or just have one big bash instead. I guess it doesn't matter. All my friends have kids, so most of the guests will be children.
I would like to have an "I paid $100,000 to get pregnant and all I have are a stack of receipts" party. I wonder if I can register for that?
I LOVE your blog!!!!!
I love the idea of a party. I should plan for an IVF party in January!
Oh, wow. Welcome to my world! Just getting to the first round of 1st birthday parties. Not sure which is worse – being invited or not being invited. At least not being invited spares us the trouble of making excuses not to go. We got invited to one more 1st birthday party in 2 months, and it’s close friends, so we’re stuck. But we’re already planning our escape route and snarky responses to “which one’s yours?”