Oct 05

No doubt, you’ve imagined the day when you get to announce your pregnancy. But your struggle with infertility has put a real damper on how you will actually tell people. The good news is that no one is more sensitive to infertility than you and you plan to announce your news to different people in different ways.

Telling the friend who got pregnant on her first try.
This is the friend who you can actually boast and gloat that you are pregnant. There is no need to be sensitive or hide your excitement. You can shout it to the world “Guess what. I’m pregnant!!!! I’m expecting!!!”

The friend who may or may not be trying.
This friend is tricky. You don’t know if she’s struggling with infertility or not trying at all. You have no idea if pregnancy news will send her into a deep depression so you have to be careful and not show too much excitement. You may feel you owe her an explanation first. Act cool but not too excited. “Well, we have been trying for a long time, and it looks like we are now expecting. But enough about my boring news, how are things with you?”

Of course, there is the friend who has been going through infertility treatments and you don’t know how to break the news to her. There are two ways to tell her.

Telling the infertile friend: the nice way.
You know how hard she will take your news so you try to avoid saying the word ‘pregnancy’ at all costs and then quickly change the subject. You want to make sure that you don’t ruin her appetite by telling her during any meals so make sure all food is digested before breaking the news. “So, we’ve been going through fertility procedures for such a long time now and it looks like one actually worked. Speaking of work, how is your new job going?”

Telling the infertile friend: the fun (o.k. cruel) way!
Forget sensitivity. You have suffered through enough pregnancy announcements and this is your moment to shine. Forget about being kind or sensitive, saying it bluntly will only make your friend stronger. Ask your friend out to lunch and just before she is about to eat, blurt out “Guess what? I’m PREGNANT!” Continue to rub your belly during the meal and ask her to help you plan your baby shower and go shopping with you for maternity clothing. If you notice her start to tear up, thank her for crying over your happy news and tell her how happy your parents were when you told them about their first grandchild. At the end of the conversation, show her an ultrasound picture, apologize for talking so much about yourself, and then ask her when she is going to start trying for a baby herself.

Oh come on, doesn’t the fun way sound great!

9 Responses to “#880 How to tell people you’re pregnant (one day)”

  1. Noelle says:

    I love the one about telling your infertile friend in a cruel way! (Well, I didn't love it as in I would do it, but I loved it as in that feels like that is my life!)

  2. Infertile says:

    Oh, we all dream about the fun way. Billboards taken out to announce we are finally pregnant! Writing on bathroom walls, bumper stickers, t-shirts….so many ways to make sure every breathing man, woman and child knows! Dream big, baby!

  3. Eileen says:

    Yet another awesome blog. I gave you another award on my blog. Thanks for making me laugh, even on the crappiest of days.

  4. InfertileNaomi says:

    We should definitely announce it by billboards!

    Eileen- thanks for the blog award. I read your blog and you are one strong and awesome gal. I think you should try writing a reason to laugh and email it to me. Take your worst day and turn it into something funny.

  5. Katie says:

    I love it. Thank you for starting my morning off right with a good laugh (yet again)!

  6. Dustjen says:

    I've been following these for awhile. I just have to say that I love them. I laugh so hard because they are SO true. The one today, I think about this all the time. I have a handful of friends that I will have to pull aside when I have *the news* and then be careful never to post anything on facebook for these same friends.

    THese are great!

  7. Amy says:

    Nice, Naomi. Are you ever going to write a blog post that doesn't end in me cracking up out loud at my desk (leaving my coworkers yelling from their offices "what is it this time Amy?")

  8. finding_ac says:

    or we can be like the lady at my church who didnt tell anyone till she was almost 7 months along…like she is a superstar or something…

    ♥ ac

  9. babyhopes says:

    I have one friend who actually told me her news in the "fun" way. She knew we were (are) having problems. She is ten weeks along right now, and recently made a Facebook post about how the baby has been kicking the past two weeks. Does it even have legs yet?

    Oh, and when she told us that she was pregnant, she and her husband said "this means you're next!" How does that work exactly? (And we weren't. Two others have gotten pregnant since then.)