No doubt, you’ve imagined the day when you get to announce your pregnancy. But your struggle with infertility has put a real damper on how you will actually tell people. The good news is that no one is more sensitive to infertility than you and you plan to announce your news to different people in different ways.
Telling the friend who got pregnant on her first try.
This is the friend who you can actually boast and gloat that you are pregnant. There is no need to be sensitive or hide your excitement. You can shout it to the world “Guess what. I’m pregnant!!!! I’m expecting!!!”
The friend who may or may not be trying.
This friend is tricky. You don’t know if she’s struggling with infertility or not trying at all. You have no idea if pregnancy news will send her into a deep depression so you have to be careful and not show too much excitement. You may feel you owe her an explanation first. Act cool but not too excited. “Well, we have been trying for a long time, and it looks like we are now expecting. But enough about my boring news, how are things with you?”
Of course, there is the friend who has been going through infertility treatments and you don’t know how to break the news to her. There are two ways to tell her.
Telling the infertile friend: the nice way.
You know how hard she will take your news so you try to avoid saying the word ‘pregnancy’ at all costs and then quickly change the subject. You want to make sure that you don’t ruin her appetite by telling her during any meals so make sure all food is digested before breaking the news. “So, we’ve been going through fertility procedures for such a long time now and it looks like one actually worked. Speaking of work, how is your new job going?”
Telling the infertile friend: the fun (o.k. cruel) way!
Forget sensitivity. You have suffered through enough pregnancy announcements and this is your moment to shine. Forget about being kind or sensitive, saying it bluntly will only make your friend stronger. Ask your friend out to lunch and just before she is about to eat, blurt out “Guess what? I’m PREGNANT!” Continue to rub your belly during the meal and ask her to help you plan your baby shower and go shopping with you for maternity clothing. If you notice her start to tear up, thank her for crying over your happy news and tell her how happy your parents were when you told them about their first grandchild. At the end of the conversation, show her an ultrasound picture, apologize for talking so much about yourself, and then ask her when she is going to start trying for a baby herself.
Oh come on, doesn’t the fun way sound great!