Oct 30

You know you’re a true infertile when you’ve tried the Saliva Based Fertility test.

* It’s Convenient (True. We all produce saliva)
* Reusable (Really? Isn’t that gross?)
* Easy to use (Do the spit and wait)

The boxhas a picture of a woman’s pregnant belly but shouldn’t it have an image of someone spitting onto a lens and then examining your own spit for signs of ovulation?

Instructions for use:
Step one: drop your saliva onto the lens provided (a.k.a hork into the lens).
Step two: Allow spit to dry.
Step three: Examine spit for signs of ovulation.
Step four: If you see signs of “ferning” or crystal pattern, you are fertile.

Frequently asked questions
Can I use flavored spit?
Can I combine spit with cervical mucus?
What happens if I eat pineapple then spit?
Is “ferning” the same thing as drinking Crystal Light?
Can I reuse this product with my friend’s spit?
Is horking, spitting and saliva the same thing?
Will excess phlegm increase my chances of conceiving?
Can I use sweat instead of saliva?

11 Responses to “#862 The Salvia-Based Ovulation Test”

  1. ttc4toolong says:

    HILARIOUS! Thank you for the laugh!

  2. tishi says:

    tehe Pineapple!!

  3. Kait says:

    I hate those things. I NEVER saw a ferning pattern an it just made me feel more broken, like so many other "conception tools" did.

  4. Rach says:

    LOL! It's sad the silly things we do.

  5. Ariha says:

    Can I just spit on my table and see if I get any ferning pattern. :-D

  6. Kate says:

    I checked my saliva under a microscope for ferning, and it turned out there was actually a cactus.

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  11. Bellah says:

    I got one of those and it Broke within a week or so. The light stopped wrking. It was a waste. Seeing Still NO BABY!