When you first moved into your new home, you imagined having a baby’s room.
You know which room this is. It’s the middle room just beside your bedroom so you could check on your baby frequently. You would walk past this room several times a day, and picture a crib and a rocking chair. You would stand in the doorway and imagine yourself rocking your baby to sleep and seeing that room filled with baby clothes and toys. You even painted the room a baby friendly color (without mentioning this intent to your husband).
But this room is now your office.
Instead of plush animals and baby dresses, this room now has a desk, an old chair, a computer and a scatter of pens and papers. Your cute picture frames have been replaced by your College Diploma and pictures of your grandparents. The image of the sweet crib has been replaced by a mountain of paperwork and you now have pictures of other people’s children on your desk.
Perhaps one day this will be your baby’s room but for now, it’s the room where you spend hours looking at infertility websites and nursing back a martini.