Aug 20

The two week wait – the period (no pun intended) between a fertility procedure and finding out if you’re actually pregnant.

Your fertility procedure is done; and now you’re forced to wait an agonizing 14 days to see if the treatment worked. You won’t admit this even to yourself but you think you might be pregnant this time. Instead, you set yourself up for disappointment and tell yourself that it probably didn’t work anyways.

As each day passes, you experience all the early pregnancy symptoms and discover new ones including (but not limited to):

1) your skin feels abnormally hot.
2) your left breast is more tender than your right.
3) you can’t stop eating green grapes.
4) climbing the stairs makes you out of breath.
5) combining your breakfast cereals makes you feel slightly ill.

So how do you survive the two week wait? Here are some practical suggestions:

1) prank call your fertility clinic and pretend to make an appointment for “Regina Seaman.”
2) rent the movies, Two Weeks Notice starring Sandra Bullock, Two Weeks with Sally Fields or do a Michael J. Fox marathon with Family Ties, Volume 2.
3) see how many times you can write the words “two week wait” on a piece of paper.
4) contact everyone you haven’t spoken to in 10 years including all ex-boyfriends.
5) re-live the procedure again and again in your mind (haven’t you been doing this already?”).

Just breathe and relax. You did great.

8 Responses to “#915 The two week wait”

  1. Michele says:

    Love it : )

  2. InfertileNaomi says:

    Michele- great post on how to avoid pregnancy! Love it.

  3. Just Another Day In Paradise says:

    Your pictures are always the best! What great pairing you do!

  4. Jessica says:

    That is awesome…you should write a book with all of these "reason to laugh at infertility"!!

  5. InfertileNaomi says:

    Would love to write a book. Anyone know a good publisher?

  6. jill says:

    pretty sure this is my FAVORITE post you've ever written. HILARIOUS!

  7. Stephanie says:

    This is hilarious! It's been a few years since we gave up trying but I love your efforts to find the levity in such a gut-wrenching process.

  8. Anonymous says:

    this is so so true… next cycle I renting Two weeks notice .. perhaps it will go faster!! LOL!!!